[Editor's Note: "Blogger's Note" has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice]
I used to be a devout Onyx fan. I still have all of their albums on my iPod when I really should only have the first three. Dem crazy baldheads were the first band/group of any kind I ever followed religiously. (I wouldn’t call Kid ‘N Play religion. You just kinda couldn’t get away from them.) If Sticky Fingaz, Fredro [Starr], Sonnee and D.S. founded a church, they’d have found my ass in a front row seat and my allowance in the collection plate.
Throughout the summer of 1993 I rocked a baldie and by then Bacdafucup had become my personal score.
Imagine how pitifully the Little Ronnie inside me died as he helplessly watched former hero Fredro’s behavioral pattern become so reflective of those denounced in “Bitchasniguz.”
It’s like watching grandma-nana lose that battle with Alzheimer’s.
[Caution: This video contains Bitch-Nigga Tendencies (BNT)]
I guess Fredro officially stopped being a hero around the time he built Koch Records from the ground up. (*vomits*) This was also around the time he asked to be referred to by his rainbow district name, Firestarr and released Dying For Rap.
I would hope it was Koch that made him jump around in that R. Kelly 12 Play vest he wore when he was in the lab trying to Frankenstein himself a “Perfect Bitch.”
Shoulda been tryin to make a perfect album.
I always appreciate a good history lesson, but damn. When a nigga gives you an opportunity to reaffirm your relevance you gotta come up with better than the following:
“Umm… I’m still eatin off ‘Slam.’ You know how my day go. I wake up. Check the DVR to see if Moesha is playin on TV One or some shit like that. If it is, I check to see if it’s one of my episodes… Then I check the local little WB affiliate-type joint wherever I’m at to see if they playin Sunset Park… You know that’s all Brandy could watch when she was like 16.”
It’s time to get live. It’s time to represent. Sunset Park, what time is it?
That shit is all Brandy could watch? Yes, I could totally see it playing that way. A teen superstar sequestering herself to her room like a junkie watching fuckin Sunset Park every waking moment.
“Ray J. Bring me some Chee-tos and come push play on the VCR!”
It was a cool movie and all. I liked it, but I mean… you don’t have to see the shit more than twice inna lifetime.
I’m starting to think Fredro paid these guys to talk.
How proud is he to have gotten some underage neck behind Wanya Morris’ back? That’s some shit a regular nigga would just let slide. There’s no need to show off the Martian Dome merit badge. I know it’s kinda cool to get over on Boyz II Men, but the announcement would have been far more interesting ten years ago.
Besides, everybody got a turn on Brandy in 1997. Mase, Wanya, fuckin Hakim (R.I.P. Jerome Bentley). Nigga shoulda been tryin to get after Monica before C-Murder. Fredro ain’t special runnin around lookin like half-a-Starbury and dressed like Tyrone Biggums found some sunglasses on a subway seat.
“These is Versace, Rhonda!”
Yet dude can’t stop stammering on about how pretty he is.
In fact, that’s why 50 Cent and Floyd Mayweather hate him. It can’t be because he’s a douchebag and a coke gremlin. No. Can’t be.
I bet Fredro was on the front line of that boy soldier batallion throwing bottles at 50 Cent on Guy Brew.
For good measure the washed-up Onyx-member/teen acting senation hits us with the classic Bizzy Bone “Ain’t nobody give me no money yet.” Now 50 Cent was supposed to break Fredro off with a few million dollars because they let him drop a verse on an Onyx record no one’s ever heard before?
No certified thorough nigga yaps like a bitch this much. I’m sorry to have exposed you all to 4+ minutes of bitchassness–especially bitchassness from a nigga that’s supposed to be a rap legend. The shit hurts my heart.
[Blogger's Note: See that, dinosaur rap fanatics. The old rapsters are stupid bitches too.]
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