Erykah Badu’s little miracles

Is Erykah Badu sending out the wrong message by becoming the town bicycle of hip-hop? Or is it not any of our business how many rappers she decides to have babies with?

There was a bit of an uproar, a couple of weeks ago, amongst the kind of people who give a rat’s ass what Erykah Badu does, when it was announced that she’s pregnant by that guy Jay Electronica, who’s supposedly a genius. Though I’ve yet to hear anything he’s done that strikes me as all that impressive.

It culminated in Badu posting this hilarious screed to the message boards over at okayhater, talking about how mofos need to stay out of her business, and clearly she makes enough from touring to get knocked up by the DOC (not to be confused with Rick Ross’ former employer), if that’s what she feels like doing. Note that I’m paraphrasing.

I remember coming across it the other day and thinking I might have to do a post on it here or somewhere. But then something must have come up. Maybe I drank too much beer and I forgot, or maybe it was because I went out of town. Maybe both.

But I was reminded of this foolishness this weekend, when I finally got a chance to check out the first night of CNN’s silly Black in America. You’ll recall that I missed the first night back when it first aired, last week, because I was out working hard trying to put food on my family. Fortunately, they were rerunning that shit all weekend. I ended up catching it when I got off from work Saturday evening.

One segment of the CNN special had to do with this woman who had five kids, nary a father in the home to speak of, and she was about to get kicked out of her house, probably because the landlord wanted to rent it to someone who doesn’t have five kids.

I noticed they made a point to make it seem as if she had gotten preyed upon by an older man when she was a young girl (wait, that works?), though they didn’t bother to explain how her other four kids came about, or where their fathers might be. Also, I was at a loss for how in the fuck she was managing to raise five kids on one presumably rather meager salary. Lord knows I have a hard time just keeping myself in clean pants, and I work constantly, between this site and my own site and the BGM.

Obviously, the government, i.e. us taxpayers, have been chipping in. It just hadn’t occurred to me that our welfare system in this country is such that one woman raising five kids would actually be feasible. I mean, who would even try such a thing? But now I’m wondering if there isn’t a certain economies of scale effect that kicks in once you have a certain number of welfare babies. It’s a concept I learned about back when I was in college earning my worthless-ass business degree. Though I suppose it’s come in handy in this case!

I know – because I know a guy who was a property manager of several section eight properties – that you can pretty much knock out the rent (or lower it to an amount you can find in the average sofa) just by having one otherwise unwanted child. Which makes me wonder how much more you receive for each additional one you pop out. I wouldn’t be surprised if things are actually a lot more difficult for the slore with just one welfare baby. If any of you fruits remember what your mothers used to receive for you and your siblings, feel free to chime in in the comments section.

Obviously, the financial aspect isn’t as much an issue for Erykah Badu. I can’t imagine her music is selling anywhere near where it used to back in the late ’90s; and we know, because black people tend to lack any financial sense, that a lot of these artists run into issues once the checks stop coming in. But I’d be willing to bet that she makes a pretty decent living touring.

I remember reading, not too long ago, in an interview with ?uestlove, where he was talking about how the Roots sometimes tour with Erykah Badu, and, where as the Roots tend to bring out a lot of young cracka-ass crackas (my bad, white people), Erykah Badu tends to draw a lot of older black folks. And it’s a known fact in the touring industry that, the older the audience, the more money the artist makes.

So most likely, unless Erykah Badu got so crazy that she couldn’t be wheeled out on stage, like Lauryn Hill, her vagine would probably give out before she could have more kids than she could afford. But at what point does this shit start to become a branding issue? (Note: here’s where my marketing expertise comes in handy yet again.)

If you notice, she goes on and on in her screed about how she has the means to take care of her little village of rappers’ babies, as if anyone really thought that was the issue. But I think the thing people were really concerned with is the fact that she’s now gonna have three babies by three different guys (three different rappers, even), and that doesn’t necessarily coincide with the image of herself she puts forth, as being a queen or whatever. At one point, I think she even refers to herself as a queen in her diatribe.

Queens don’t have babies by three different guys, welfare mothers in the ghetto do. I’m not saying she shouldn’t be allowed to carry on like that, if that’s what she wants to do. (I’ll even let her have one of mine, but I will not provide for it.) I’m just saying. I don’t know if she should be viewed in the same light as a woman who’s actually convinced a man to be with her and take care of their kids together. I’m conservative like that. What do you ‘bags think?

  • http://XXL.COM BIg kuntry

    Dude does it really matter?. I can care less, like you said she can prob have 10 seeds, if she wants. I’m more concerned with the chicks in the hood, that have 4 kids, and try and hit on me. Why!!

  • http://www.asdf.com Hey

    She probably has some damn good pussy.

    • YO

      shes no different then those dirty spanish chicks out here with a minimum of 5 kids.

      • BIGNAT

        i would super disagree on that one ms badu got cash to care for her kids or pay a spanish chick to do so. two i have seen her in concert one ms badu got some soul stealing eyes. point three after the 2nd kid she got a nice shape to her and i notice she got a nice gap between her legs. which she had even when she was skinny. which comes to point four phat pussy. ms badu might be a succubus thats point five. point six the D.O.C., Common and 3 stacks wanted to hold on to a peice of that badu pie so that shit must be good.

    • WANG

      Erykah Badu b makin ni99as dress funny

      dat rite there iz some magical type pussy

  • http://www.ilovewax.com ben*

    why ain´t a queen not having three diff. babydaddys..
    most rappers who call em self kings do have up 7 diff. babymommas..
    don´t waste your time to much on private things..that what music is all about..or are you a friend who got asked to comment? man use ur work for music..that what i believe you should work on..

    peace
    ben*

  • http://XXL.COM BIg kuntry

    Dude does it really matter?. I can care less, like you said she can prob have more seeds, if she wants. I’m more concerned with the chick in the hood, that have 4 kids, and try to spit game, and hit on me. Wtf!! Get ur tubes tied…. get off the goverment, and make something out your life. Shit I play pic up ball with some of those baby daddies, and shit is sad. Dudes act like they don’t have a care in the world. But I guess when the henny, and dirt weed kick in on a tue night, wtf. Take a chance.. Sad.. But as long as I wrk 3 meager fckn jobs, to support my, ass, I guess ill be a father to lakeshia, and her kids. But can a brotha, get a tax break? Stimulus aint cut it..

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Because a man has a schlong instead of a vagine, a man having multiple children by different woman does have a certain heroic connotation.

    A man has to somehow convince that many women to lay with him, or at least force himself on them. Which I don’t advocate, by the way.

    Where as all a woman has to do is sit there with her legs open, and eventually the wind will blow something up in there.

    There’s no real effort involved.

    • Marco317

      Lol Genious Bol! You break bitches down in 2 sentences, and explain it to these ignorant bums in a language they can understand lmao!

      • Marco317

        by da way aint dat no talent punk ass bitch bald, and always wearin a an afro wig? juz asking…

        • Penelope Rodriguez

          Oh Bol!

          You never cease to make me laugh

  • Scores-Man

    It makes her seem trashy even though it’s wrong to label a person that way. Just like when a pretty white girl sleeps with black guys, she ceases to be pure in the eyes of some people I know (spics).

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Let’s fuck some whores!

  • themovingsidewalk

    i happen to know that Badu gets $100,000 a show unless it’s something charitable or benefiting a cause of her personal interest (i.e. Black colleges, AIDS awareness etc.) and she does a helluva lot of shows

    i think she views it as being sexually liberated and not so much as being the #1 rap BM

    either way I’d DEFINITELY skeet in her and pray that she develops another little miracle

  • F’n hilarious

    “Where as all a woman has to do is sit there with her legs open, and eventually the wind will blow something up in there.”

    LMAO

    Easy pussy = Slap in da face with a decomposed catfish

  • SDUBB-google-me

    talking about how mofos need to stay out of her business, and clearly she makes enough from touring to get knocked up by the DOC (not to be confused with Rick Ross’ former employer), if that’s what she feels like doing.

    This is vintage Bol fucking halarious. I agree w/u Bol how in the hell you gone be a Queen if you can’t even (trap) a man to commit to you and your wierd ass religion. I always thought she was into Vodoo and shit myslef. She must of got that Ms. Cleo Vodoo start up kit, casue her shit ain’t working. As a last resort, retort back to putting period blood in his pasta. I’m not adovocating that nasty shit but hey it just might work better than that Baduism mubo gumbo. What do you think Fruit Bol?

  • http://www.myspace.com/friscorepresenter ant

    Did they really jus tell me 3+6 aint 9? Am i buggen?

    Bol expect Erykah to leave a long ass comment on why she the queen and why she let 3 rappen ass niggas run up in her

    The only reason i wuld run up n erykah is 2 take the kids and get child support lol tour money is mines! K fed style

  • ri067953

    Yo, I don’t know what F’ed up world you guys live in but having several babies mothers is not a way to live. Once “CHSUP” hits your check, your lucky to walk away with 10 bucks to deposit in your checking account

    Yo, back to Badu. This is not the typical baby mama situation. See, 3000, Common and this dude Jay E. should have stacks to keep there niglets geared up and on a full belly. This is not your average skeez getting knocked up by “Tyrone” on the block.

    You betta call Tyrone….call ‘em

    • that nigga

      She doesnt have a baby by Common, Its the D.O.C..

  • http://myspace.com/soulraheem blackbono

    this is the second time i`m hearing this,the first time is when erykah was saying on her myspace blog her growning belly and now today as i`m reading this erykah is really having another one.really i all care is she a real good mother to those kids(the two she have now seven and puma)from what i hear she a great mother.hell i wouldnt mind her having my child but i think she`ll have a problem with me wanted to marry her.

  • The Don

    I cant front i have been real let down by the state of black women and men more so with the women because im a man. Weather women know it or not it is not cool to raise 3 differnt nuccas babies. I mean what king is gonna wife that up?

  • 239allday

    You know Erikah got some good pussy the way Andre and common changed up they whole style like that. She got that whippersnapper, She had Com sense & 3 Stacks on some afrocentric bohemian once they got done beatin. Wearin clothes that don’t even match.

  • brother Ali

    Bol, you should know better than spelling ‘whereas’as two words.

  • Bmore

    like it’s been said, she must have bomb pussy or something. D.O.C., Common, Andre, Jay E all wife’d her up at one point. Shit, and that doesn’t include all the dudes that ain’t famous that she probably suckin off on the reg. i love how people like her portray this “righteous” image and don’t eat meat, love the earth etc…i guess promiscuity doesn’t count????

    • http://www.asdf.com Hey

      Erykah is no vegetarian. She eats more meat than the hot dog eating champion, Kawasaki.

      Bing!

      • BIGNAT

        nice one yeaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahhahahaha

  • deezhul

    If any of you fruits remember what your mothers used to receive for you and your siblings, feel free to chime in in the comments section.PRICELESS

  • just saying

    In an ideal world, People would marry before becoming sexually involved, and date until they fall in love before even considering marriage. Then, after careful consideration and planning, decide to have children. But in a time when people screw without dating, marry for reasons besides love and have baby after baby despite despite their situations, this type of thing is bound to happen & to anyone. I grew up in the “ghetto” and I am a college graduate with no children and no plans of having them until I am in a stable marriage and am finacially stable as well. With that being said, you can’t blame this type of behavior on the ghetto. It is an individual decision. As far as Erykah Badu is concerned, it’s not coming out of your check or mine, so….SO WHAT!!!

  • The Spaniard

    Two parent households are overrated.

    Usually all that means is that two simpletons got together therefore their household income is more than it would otherwise be or the available adult supervision is increased.

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    you had me at “town bicycle.”

    damn, bol.

  • http://www.asdf.com Hey

    This retarded site just asked me what 9 + 1 is, and I answered 10. According to them, that’s incorrect.

  • florida_evans

    I guess fo + fo Is 44.Chris Rock stand up….

  • fredMS

    damn son, i learned economies of scale in high school. college is for lames.

  • fade

    nothing impressive? try bitches and drugs victory is mine act 1 retro electro my uzi weighs a ton somethin to hold….

    guys got some fire shit

  • tobasko

    Show me some fuckin proof badu gets 100K per show.

    That sounds like some Rolling Stones/U2 money to me.

    I want proof