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Why Scott Storch shouldn’t go to jail

I was all with Scott Storch a couple of years ago, when he first started having issues with his baby’s mother.

I remember she tried to drag his ass into court on some paternity shit, but he couldn’t be there that day, because I’m sure he had better things to do than to be up in family court. So the judge just up and decided that, since he didn’t show up to court that day, the baby was his, until he could prove otherwise.

Which of course struck me as an injustice. And as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said (my bad if this isn’t 100% accurate), an injustice to a man anywhere is injustice to men everywhere.

As I wrote on my own blog at the time, I’m not saying Scott Storch should have been able to decide which days he felt like going to court. No way a brother such as myself could have gotten away with some shit like that. I’m just saying. What if turned out that baby wasn’t actually his?

Some shit like that could fuck up a man’s relationship with the woman he’s actually interested in being with. Imagine your sitting there with the prime piece of trim you just finished up with, having a hazelnut coffee and a bagel, and the next thing you know, it’s announced on the radio, “Scott Storch declared the father of half-black baby. More news at 11.”

It just goes to show how fucked up some of the laws are in this country when it comes to, erm, family issues.

Yesterday, a judge went so far as to issue a warrant for his arrest, just because he fell a couple of months behind in child support. And again, he had something to do the day he was supposed to be in court.

The thing is, he was paying so much in child support in the first place that being a couple of months behind actually amounted to something like $40,000, i.e. way more money than it costs to buy a baby a little bitty-ass pair of pants and take it to Burger King. So what if he was a couple of months behind? It’s not like the child was in any immediate danger. If she somehow managed to spend all the money he’d already, I’d say her ass needs to go to jail. Either way, if I was him, I’d definitely see about having some sort of third party monitor the way that money is spent, to make sure it’s actually going to benefit the child.

It’s obvious to me, reading the news reports of this shit, that Scott Storch’s financial situation has gotten a little bit complex as of late, and he might just not have $40,000 in cash lying around to give to a broad on some ol’ bullshit. From what I understand, he owes somewhere in the neighborhood of half a million dollars to the IRS for two years worth of property tax on a ridonkulously expensive house he owns off the coast of Florida, and he’s got a bunch of other bills that have been piling up. Word on the street is that that Bentley that got repossessed from Lil’ Kim’s house – on the news, no less – belonged to him. Er, he was supposed to be making the payments on it.

But I can’t imagine he’s that broke, if he’s got equity in a house that’s worth umpteen million dollars, and that yacht that was in that Timbaland dis video (though I’ve heard he was trying to sell that on eBay), and he’s going around buying Bentleys. He might be what rich people like to call “cash poor.” One more god-awful Sean Kingston record, or a line of credit from his cousin at the bank, and he’ll be right back on top. I’d imagine the problem is that his current child support arrangement is based on his 2006 level of income, and he just plain ain’t got it like that anymore. Not only has his well of hits begun to dry up, but record sales are down across the board. So he might need to see about getting that Fiddy Cent had, to have his shit readjusted.

That being said, it’s hard to feel too sorry for Scott Storch. Yesterday, I came across this story over at Complex (no Boutros) about the reason why Scott Storch’s financial situation is all fucked the fuck up. Come to find out, this guy has been spending mad money on women. In addition to the ridonkulous amount he’s been paying to his baby’s mother, and the Bentley he bought Lil’ Kim, whom he only dated for a couple of months (the head couldn’t have been that good), he’s been buying mad broads cars and jewelry. He even bought Paris Hilton a Bentley for letting him produce half the tracks on her album. Which just seems ridiculous to me. First of all, why would you give someone a gift like that just for letting you work for them? Second, why even waste that kind of money buying a Bentley for someone who’s already astoundingly wealthy. Paris Hilton probably doesn’t even know where that Bentley is.

If Scott Storch was black, his baby’s mother probably would have called one of these services you hear advertised on ghetto radio stations that track your deadbeat baby’s daddy down for you, in exchange for the lion’s share of whatever money he might have to pay you. There wouldn’t have been any of this shit about how there’s a warrant for his arrest down in Miami; his ass would have already been in jail, regardless of where he was at. Then, on the outside chance he ever got out, he probably wouldn’t be able to find a job anyway. But if he did, the state would probably garnish so much of his take-home that it wouldn’t be worth his while anyway. So his life would basically be ruined – not so much because he really put his child in any kind of danger, but because we live in a country where the government thinks the best way to help a man take care of his child is to toss his ass in jail.

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