Why Scott Storch shouldn’t go to jail

I was all with Scott Storch a couple of years ago, when he first started having issues with his baby’s mother.

I remember she tried to drag his ass into court on some paternity shit, but he couldn’t be there that day, because I’m sure he had better things to do than to be up in family court. So the judge just up and decided that, since he didn’t show up to court that day, the baby was his, until he could prove otherwise.

Which of course struck me as an injustice. And as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said (my bad if this isn’t 100% accurate), an injustice to a man anywhere is injustice to men everywhere.

As I wrote on my own blog at the time, I’m not saying Scott Storch should have been able to decide which days he felt like going to court. No way a brother such as myself could have gotten away with some shit like that. I’m just saying. What if turned out that baby wasn’t actually his?

Some shit like that could fuck up a man’s relationship with the woman he’s actually interested in being with. Imagine your sitting there with the prime piece of trim you just finished up with, having a hazelnut coffee and a bagel, and the next thing you know, it’s announced on the radio, “Scott Storch declared the father of half-black baby. More news at 11.”

It just goes to show how fucked up some of the laws are in this country when it comes to, erm, family issues.

Yesterday, a judge went so far as to issue a warrant for his arrest, just because he fell a couple of months behind in child support. And again, he had something to do the day he was supposed to be in court.

The thing is, he was paying so much in child support in the first place that being a couple of months behind actually amounted to something like $40,000, i.e. way more money than it costs to buy a baby a little bitty-ass pair of pants and take it to Burger King. So what if he was a couple of months behind? It’s not like the child was in any immediate danger. If she somehow managed to spend all the money he’d already, I’d say her ass needs to go to jail. Either way, if I was him, I’d definitely see about having some sort of third party monitor the way that money is spent, to make sure it’s actually going to benefit the child.

It’s obvious to me, reading the news reports of this shit, that Scott Storch’s financial situation has gotten a little bit complex as of late, and he might just not have $40,000 in cash lying around to give to a broad on some ol’ bullshit. From what I understand, he owes somewhere in the neighborhood of half a million dollars to the IRS for two years worth of property tax on a ridonkulously expensive house he owns off the coast of Florida, and he’s got a bunch of other bills that have been piling up. Word on the street is that that Bentley that got repossessed from Lil’ Kim’s house – on the news, no less – belonged to him. Er, he was supposed to be making the payments on it.

But I can’t imagine he’s that broke, if he’s got equity in a house that’s worth umpteen million dollars, and that yacht that was in that Timbaland dis video (though I’ve heard he was trying to sell that on eBay), and he’s going around buying Bentleys. He might be what rich people like to call “cash poor.” One more god-awful Sean Kingston record, or a line of credit from his cousin at the bank, and he’ll be right back on top. I’d imagine the problem is that his current child support arrangement is based on his 2006 level of income, and he just plain ain’t got it like that anymore. Not only has his well of hits begun to dry up, but record sales are down across the board. So he might need to see about getting that Fiddy Cent had, to have his shit readjusted.

That being said, it’s hard to feel too sorry for Scott Storch. Yesterday, I came across this story over at Complex (no Boutros) about the reason why Scott Storch’s financial situation is all fucked the fuck up. Come to find out, this guy has been spending mad money on women. In addition to the ridonkulous amount he’s been paying to his baby’s mother, and the Bentley he bought Lil’ Kim, whom he only dated for a couple of months (the head couldn’t have been that good), he’s been buying mad broads cars and jewelry. He even bought Paris Hilton a Bentley for letting him produce half the tracks on her album. Which just seems ridiculous to me. First of all, why would you give someone a gift like that just for letting you work for them? Second, why even waste that kind of money buying a Bentley for someone who’s already astoundingly wealthy. Paris Hilton probably doesn’t even know where that Bentley is.

If Scott Storch was black, his baby’s mother probably would have called one of these services you hear advertised on ghetto radio stations that track your deadbeat baby’s daddy down for you, in exchange for the lion’s share of whatever money he might have to pay you. There wouldn’t have been any of this shit about how there’s a warrant for his arrest down in Miami; his ass would have already been in jail, regardless of where he was at. Then, on the outside chance he ever got out, he probably wouldn’t be able to find a job anyway. But if he did, the state would probably garnish so much of his take-home that it wouldn’t be worth his while anyway. So his life would basically be ruined – not so much because he really put his child in any kind of danger, but because we live in a country where the government thinks the best way to help a man take care of his child is to toss his ass in jail.

  • trillvillain

    storch is fuckin up

  • Neven

    What if turned out that baby wasn’t actually his?

    Thats happing to me. come September I will have to shell out $1000 for blood work to see if the kid is mine and if it turns out that it is not the real father has to pay me back the full $1000. Now I’m not worried about the money or if the kid is mine but I do know that if my dna is in that child then I will deliver more than money. Time spent is worth more than anything imaginable. So if Scott stepped up to the plate and started seeing his kid more he would know where that money is going and if he is so rich than why not take your kid from the mother and make the bitch pay you for child support.

    Single mothers are the reason for metro boys.

    MEN step up and raise your Child (s)

  • BNW

    COSIGN W/NEVEN

  • http://still-legal.blogspot.com Josh

    Um, I think you got your white producers mixed up. JR Rotem produces for Sean Kingston. And, just for the record, Frequency took Scott Storch’s spot on the upcoming Kim record.

  • Rizob

    the blog was on point, I believe that one day these laws about baby daddies and how much the should have to pay will be changed. its so unfair to the point where its easier to pay somebody to kill the bitch. shit you can buy some half-breed mexican baby and call it a day.

  • Joshs Evil Twin

    Josh you are a moron no one cares

  • http://xxlmag.com Johnny Fontaine

    Damn a 1000 for bloodwork,shiit in Mpls it’s only 350$…Cats need to start wearing a fuckin condom and my dude once you dont go to court for paternity it’s like saying you forfeit YOUR RIGHTS and you agree to look after this kid.Fuck that. *in Caine’s voice* “bitch I had the jimmy on extra tight”

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    storch just needs to find out if that is his kid, and if it is, try and get partial custody, save some money and spend time with the kid. not showing up to court is pussy.

    “shit you can buy some half-breed mexican baby and call it a day.”

    rizob- you are an ignorant shit.

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    Free Scott Storch!

  • Jonathan and tha kid

    YO THIS THA KID! SHOUTS TO JONATHAN! SERIOUSLY! CHECK IT! DO YOU AND FUCK THAT BABY BACK BITCH PRODUCER! LIKE HE DESERVES ANY THING HE HAS IN THE FIRST PLACE! YA DIG! SERIOUSLY! THAT LAME WAS PROLLY SOME BAND NERD! VIRGIN UNTILL HE GOT SOME ICE! YA DIG! BLING BLING! NOW HES ALL PUSSY CRAZY! WHY SHOULDENT HE GO TO THE BIG HOUSE? BECAUSE ALL THOSE FAT JOE RECORDS WERE SO AWESOME? FUCK NO! SERIOUSLY! JONATHAN WERE YOU STAND ON THIS! THA KID WANTS TO KNOW! SERIOUSLY!

  • gerald n. the birdman

    Typing in ALL CAPS makes you look like a gomer.

  • iLL

    “we live in a country where the government thinks the best way to help a man take care of his child is to toss his ass in jail.”

    Smart isnt it?..

  • Maddolies

    Im Surprised Scotts Even Gone Thru Puberty Yet. He Looks 12 Years Old

  • BUKKA BUKKA

    “having a hazelnut coffee and a bagel”

    No homo??

    You’re losing touch with your target market with a statement like that Bol…

  • http://eazy-duz-it.blogspot.com/ Eazy E

    F everybody. Check out my blog you lame A female doggies. Keep barkin’ son. Keep barkin’

  • Worley

    Adopt or wear a condom. They are both cheaper.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com the chancellor

    Tuff Jew needs one of those giant full-body condoms, like on naked gun 33 1/3!

    Timbaland > Scott Storch

  • chas

    Storch is still a moron. He might not deserve to go to jail, but come on. It is court. You can’t skip it. If it at an inconvenient time, try and get the date moved. Don’t just blow it off. He obviously didn’t realize that and look what happened to him. Also, why would he buy all that stuff for other chicks. He should have known that the music industry is not involved with as much money as it used to be. But that is all in the past. Now he needs to pull himself together and figure out what he is going to do. He could figure out the baby situation for sure and also sell some property just so he can be in good financial standing.

  • jaron campbell

    damn scott..i fucking hate the child support laws in this country..it makes no sence to pay that much money on child support..fuck the goverment\