Welcome Back Ron Mexico

A few days after Coach Thomas first approached me about this gig, I hit him back with a load of ideas.

One of them was to spin XXL staples like Eye Candy and Negro Please into daily blogs. I knew just who to get for the latter too, Ronaldo Horacio Mexico (Ron Mexico for short).

Back at SOHH, Ron provided the latest hate on hip-hop videos or TV shows like VH1′s “Flavor Of Love” and “The Wire,” an hilarious piece of work if I can say so myself. I still randomly crack up on the train when thinking of the 2006 Mexican Awards. Here, he’ll be sharing his two cents on Negro Please,” a blog highlighting some of the damndest things rappers say and do. Starting Monday, Ron will contribute to this blog to show you what he’s got. Should the people want more, they will get just that. Now, rather than talk him up, I’ll let him step to the podium and address anything he sees fit. He’s been away for nearly a year now, so I’m sure Talking Videos heads will be glad to see him return. As for those who aren’t familiar with Mexx, get to know him. Without further ado, I introduce you to Ronaldo Horacio Mexico.

*Applause*

*steps up to podium*

Thank you, Mr. Jackpot.

Any of you who know me from my days playing for Big Green know that I’m not into the business of fucking around. Since then I’ve lent my brainpower to a Taco Bell-flavored TV network and the foundation of my very own media franchise/car wash in the Bronx. It’s been a while since I last made fun of a Flavor of Love girl’s weave.

Strangely, I miss that shit sometimes.

While I’ve tinkered around with shitty bl[not plug-worthy]ger.com software and only sprinkled the hate this past year, some of you may have concerns about rust or conditioning. I assure that you shan’t worry. There’s sufficient water in all of your mamas’ dishes. That won’t ever change.

I’ve actually been training like Rocky. I’ve been in L.A. I’m out there running in the mountains… Controlling, manipulating– I got a good life, man.

My ultimate goal here, however, is to bring XXL another championship. There are a lot of great bloggers on this team who I respect highly and look forward to playing alongside. I’m not gonna gas these niggas and yellow niggas up too hard. I’ll just say — I think I’m in a great situation. I don’t know a guy in this league that wouldn’t want to play in XXL’s run-and-gun system.

Right, right. Now can I get on my nigga shit for a moment?

Every time I step in the yard we gon’ be checkin these out-of-order-ass, trick-ass, pawnk bitches, skip-skaps and scallywhops out there that put black people somewhere between the Cocoa Krispies monkey and Amy from Congo.

I apologize once in advance as we’ll likely take a few fruit cups from people who don’t really deserve it along the way. You know… an Eli Porter here, a Barack Obama there.

Nah. Scratch that. Why the fuck did they do what they did when they done it?

I’ll now, as always, open the floor to questions, comments, requests and other jackassery.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

  • MAYNE

    NIGGA YOU GHEY… FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT WEAK SHIT HOMEZ!

  • http://hiphop-blogs.com Hashim Warren

    I look forward to all the skip-skaps being put on blast!

    Here’s a great candidate for Negro Please:

    “I watched one of Usher’s shows and he basically did my whole show,” Brown wrote in his new tell-all autobiography Being Bobby Brown: The Truth and Nothing But…”It was as if it was me on stage.”

    Although he could’ve taken offense, Bobby was flattered by the homage, saying “It’s a compliment to me as a performer.”

    Negro please!

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Don’t Be Cruel > Ursher’s entire catalog

  • http://1290wmcs.com “The Party Killa”

    Peace 2 U Bro….Thanks 4coming back!

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin

    oh shit the Ron Mexico came back on a fuckin horse…………..

    sound the fuckin trumpets and get the drugs prepared, this is an event!!!!!!

  • JAY STONE

    Yo jackpot why don`t y`all review lil wayne`s Tha Carter III.Shit is all over the internet.
    Damn when was the last time y`all review a new album

  • http://manswrites.blogspot.com The Writer

    Glad to see you still around. Can’t wait to hear who you think is on FURL, what bitty has the STOOCH, and what artist is a TOUCHDOWN! Holla.

  • tpar

    this is sohh.com that shit was wack. you dudes are killin the xxl brand with that wack shit. no more sohh hires no one liked that wack website.

  • G Off

    Ronnie Mexx! I still think that I was the points leader in the early days of Talkin Videos, before it turned into a sixth grade recess. Man, I’m still dying three years later at your “So Icey” review.

  • icon (trillbert arenas)

    Ron Mexico’s first Pretty Ricky review>>>>

  • Og Bobby J

    Son, I thought Ron Mexico was the name Michael Vick Used when he went to the clinic for his herpes….Consult the google..

  • smashirony

    Ronnie’s back! Go cop that Blood Money!

  • Hashim Warren

    wow, dudes remember the specific Ron Mexico posts. That’s love.

  • Gregg Popabitch

    THE FRANCHISE, SON

  • chad bro chill

    yay ronnie mexico yippeee

    *scratches head*

    what the fuck is a ron mexico

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

    thanks for the love and support peoples.

    those of you who know me know exactly what time it is.

    the rest of youse will find out vurr soon.

  • KjB

    The Herald of Hate, the Sultan of Salt, the Boss of Bustin on the Bitchassnesser, the Stooch Stiffarmer… Anyways, Glad to hear ur movin on up and making the community proud still Ronaldhino. I know that if u had ur way, u would have had all kinds of kneeslappers for us concerning the likes of Things 1 nd 2, Flav’s latest baby mammy, and other nigrocities of that sort.

  • Pingback: mountains green

  • Kornphlake

    Thank god for that. Your little blogger experiment was sad at best. I don’t blame you though, I wouldn’t put effort into that shit either. But now I can get back to my weekly dose of hate.

  • EReal

    Dont know why my comment wasnt posted, but glad to see the touchdowns on here will finally be hated on. I been hittin up ronmex dot com since them lames at the site of heavy haters let some stupid annoying, not funny broad take over for you there (who I.P. banned me for hating, BTW).
    Ron Mex gets the big ole co-sign and im looking forward to the hate! lol.

    1.

  • http://www.myspace.com/drewpz PZ

    Ohhh snap. Ronnie is back on his rag. I ain’t gonna hate on ya bro…you pony up enough of that to cover erbody. Dang..I was hopin you got a real job and left all that female back bitin to the females, but where there’s a pay check, there’s usually hungry folks in line. Would’ve liked to have heard about you contributing something positive towards other than cheap laughs at others expense. But hay…gettin mad at you for that is like gettin mad a fat person for taking to long at the buffet line. It’s just fact, girls sit down to pee and Ron Mexico exists to hate.

    Respect! Oh yeah…and a big fat..

    CHRIST BLESS!
    PZ

  • http://www.myspace.com/thegameoncw Bird

    Damn Ron. Now I gotta add XXL to my favorites. That’s against a b*tch’s religion, but you know I’d run up and slap Hillary Clinton on your behalf. Secret Service and all.

    Welcome back homie. The Bird has your back at all times.

  • c b w

    Glad you’re back to super exposure status homie!!!

    Let the hate begin