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The Tightness

I thought tight jeans were for rock stars, hipsters, and gay dudes. I also thought the point of tight jeans were so that they fit–albeit snug–but they fit. So why, oh why, do hordes of young men in Your Hood USA think it’s cool to wear tight jeans and then sag them off the ass? It’s not cute. Not at all. And what’s even worse is when the said young men act extra hardcore.

The poor anonymous sucker in the picture walked past me and whispered in my ear, “Yo ma, you sexy as hell.” I muttered a demure, “Thanks” but noticed he was walking like a penguin, then realized it was because of the jeans–gross. The next thought, “Since when do gay dudes think women are sexy?” simply because of his jeans. Of course it’s not fair to label him but it was a natural reaction based on my own distaste for tight jeans on men–so not sexy. Sadly, his ain’t even that tight compared to what I’ve seen but still–it’s gotta stop.

Friends don’t let friends strangle their nuts. But in his defense, at least he kept the rest of his outfit relatively simple opting against bright colors, therefore looking like an extra from the Care Bears cartoon, but that’s another blog.–Soopa Starr

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