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NEGRO PLEASE: Kimora’s Spoiled Milk

“When you get married, you’re forced to drink the milk long after it’s spoiled.” – Kimora Lee [Simmons?], GIANT Magazine


Hmmmm. I guess if you ask Russell to buy a gallon of rare and priceless African gorilla milk, you’d best be drinkin that shit before the expiration date.

So… Kimora’s calling Russell the spoiled milk? While he admittedly looks like some shit that just hatched a few minutes ago, there’s no excuse for that level of disrespect. Not only did this man put you on his meal plan like a mmmmmotherfucker, homie was already beginning to curdle when you started sippin.

You know how it goes in the morning. This skank opened up the frigid-dator door, saw the old-ass date on the carton, sniffed it, swished it around and said, “Fuck it. I’m putting this shit here on my Malt-O-Meal.”

A year later, she ain’t eatin that bagged, welfarish nonsense in front of Pokemon anymore. Her Cocoa Pebbles be the Post shit now. WIC check ain’t covering the brand name cereal, baby.

Sadly enough, she wanna clown like she ain’t on the same slippery slope as everyone else. Sooner than later someone’s gonna make a tasteless sushi metaphor and trade her in for Amerie.

No one’s taking anything away from what Kimora did with Baby Phat. But please understand that there’s no show without the $100 million Rush Card she got broke off with to start.

In other words: You did great work, but an empire was handed to you, Boo Boo.

Yet you fix your Amistad-suckin lips to shit on Big Russ like he didn’t have to deal with your crazy ass blowing blunts down the interstate in his whip every other day. For shame.

I gotta get back to the quote for a second. Homegirl really said “forced to drink.” Everybody know ain’t nann nigga force her to do shit. She saw that horny old man, put the teriyaki sauce on his shriveled up chicken tenders and got to gumming until he moved her in.

Honestly, it looked to me like Kimora was trynna Anna Nicole that ass. She just got in the game a tad early. I bet Kimora was mad as hell when Russell started doin’ yoga and getting all healthy and shit.

Apparently she didn’t feel “forced” enough not to publicize the fact that Djimon Honsou was beating up her Blood Diamond with that African soupbone. Cinque got her all the way knocked up before she even thought about filing for a divorce.

I guess his milk is pretty fuckin delicious. Good for you, Kimora!

Negro, please.

Ain’t nobody sayin you shouldn’t leave Russell. We don’t know what goes on behind those closed doors or on that solid gold toilet. I’m just saying you should step away from the situation with some class.

Quit while you’re a couple hundred mil’ ahead. Enough people already think you’re pretty trife. No need to fan the flame and embarrass the kids at school. Their friends read this shit.

Thank y’all for coming out. God bless you. Good night.–Ron Mexico

Questions? Comments? Requests? How’s your grocery list looking?

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