Coming up the hard way

I don’t have any doubts that celebrities will sometimes date other celebrities just to keep their names in the paper in between projects. But sometimes I do wonder how celebrities can go through with some shit like that.

If you’re a guy, obviously it’s not as much of an issue. As weird as it would be to have to bang someone you might not otherwise be interested in just for the sake of your career, there’s hardly a female celebrity under the age of 30 that I’d just staunchly object to having sex with, especially if I stood to benefit financially from it.

Shit, I’m from Missouri. Guys around here bang fucked up-looking broads for free all the time. For the vast majority of us, spreading your love on a woman who was actually attractive would be a come-up in itself, even if there was no added financial benefit.

But if you’re a girl, obviously it’s gonna be different, in that it’s gonna take on a whorish connotation. You can try to rationalize it all you want, but it’s basically having sex for money. And having sex for money when you’re a woman isn’t a come-up, it’s a come-down, especially if you’ve got enough money that you don’t need to be doing any shit like that.

Granted I realize the fact that a woman can hardly be sexually promiscuous, let alone benefit financially from it, without being viewed as a whore, where as such behavior can only enhance a man’s standing in the community is a vicious double standard. But I think it’s one of those double standards both men and women can agree should probably stay in place.

I know women want to be viewed as equal to men, at least as far as what they get paid. But what woman really wants to be viewed as the kind of woman you can easily have sex with, if you bring enough money, or shit, possibly even for free? With a guy, it’s different, because it’s a man’s biological imperative to spread his seed far and wide. A woman, on the other hand, has no such seed.

My bad if I just got too deep. Someone shove me in the shallow water.

Note that I’m assuming that all of these PR-arranged relationships between celebrities involve sex. The reason I’m assuming that is because, if you’re a guy, and you’re not one blown tire away from having to move in with Larry Rice, which I am, how in the fuck are you gonna let a woman pretend she’s dating you and you don’t get to run up in it? If you’re a celebrity, it’s not like you need the money. And think about the pussy you might have to turn down, because you’re in a pretend relationship. A man has needs, lest we forget.

Of course the reason I’m bringing this up is because I just heard Foxy Brown and Rick Ross are dating. Supposedly, he’s taken her to meet his family and shit, and she’s moving down to Florida so she can be closer to him. There’s a picture that’s been floating around on the Internets of the two of them all hugged up together, as if they’re really an item. Her cans, which have only improved with age (who’d a thunkit?) are all pressed up against his cans, which I’ve seen far too much of as of late. No homo.

My guess is that this is one of these PR-arranged relationships for a few reasons. First of all, I’m at a loss for what’s in it for Foxy Brown other than getting her career back in order. I can’t imagine she saw a picture of Rick Ross in a magazine when she was in the joint and thought to herself, “When I get out of this place, I’m moving down to Florida so I can have sex with him on a regular basis!” Otherwise, I might need to start mailing my picture to girls in prison, along with a Greyhound ticket to the great state of Misery.

And even Rick Ross, I imagine, could do much better. I mean, the guy’s got money; and the world is full of fucked up-looking guys who can still pull attractive women, just because they’ve got money. It’s one of the few reasons I wake up in the morning afternoon. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve spent my fair share of time wondering if Foxy Brown’s cans are just as bulbous and jiggly as they look. But I’m sure Rick Ross could wander into any ol’ strip club down there in Florida and find a broad of similar… shall we say, value. And he wouldn’t have to worry about her being both deaf and crazy.

I’m assuming that what’s going on here is that Foxy is gonna use Rick Ross to help write and promote her new album (as I recall, I think he’s done some ghostwriting for Trina; and lest we forget, he’s regarded by the mailroom over at MTV as being one of the hottest MCs in the game), and Rick Ross is gonna use her to boost his image as a guy who’s downright scary-looking and can still pull some high profile trim. Don’t be surprised if we seen an even further insinuation that the two of them are having sex, beyond just that picture of him getting a grief-on. As I mentioned in my post about why no one gave a shit about Jay-Z’s wedding, the media these days require real evidence.

Could a Rick Ross/Foxy Brown sex tape be in order? I shudder at the thought.

  • Rizob

    ummm nothing really to add…………..but id still hit foxy……*leaves site*

    • cora

      ally? i just read this on the forum on tall dating site __T a l l m i n g l e . c o m__,seems it is a big news there.

  • Pierzy

    I’ve been in love with Foxy for 13 years. I’m thinner than Rick Ross and I can find other words to rhyme with his last name other than “boss.” Life’s unfair.

    • Simple like ABC, 123

      “…and I can find other words to rhyme with his last name other than “boss.” Life’s unfair.”

      ^^^^^^^^^^^
      New Rick Ross single from his album “I’m Ross, the Big Boss”:

      Hook:

      “MI yAyo Ricky Ross the… Boss
      I’m big Boss, my name is… Ross”

      Hahaha!!!

  • Jonathan and the kid

    YO THIS THA KID!! SHOUTS TO JONATHAN! YA DIG! BITCHES AINT SHIT! WORD! M.O.B NIGGA! MONEY OVER BITCHES! HA HA NIGGA! BITCHES ARE LAZY MONEY GRUBBIN CREATURES! FOXY BROWN! SHE GOT A FAT ASS! YA DIG! DROP DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT! HOE’N BEEN AROUND SINCE JESUS TIME! THERE AINT NOTHING YOUR IGNORANT ASS CAN DO ABOUT IT! NEVER WAS! YA DIG! RICK ROSS! BALLIN! MIAMI!

    -THA KID

  • jonathan

    its not even about fucking for money! most of these hoes was fucking for a few dollars a second ago! its the world watching you fucking for money! the media following my everymove! do you understand! everyone watching so now cause they watch bitches have morals! you understand! these are prostitutes and strippers and not even just that on top of it the torture and trying to defame a nigga that is with it! its not about what a hoe would do! cause the same situation no cameras no one watching bitches would be all day everyday! and you know this! you know how woman are! but the watching! everyone paying attention! thats the problem! so now all the whores dont wanna be whores! but its cool with me! cause i dont want that! I want those responsible to pay for what they have done! you understand! Id rather a bitch go to jail for 25 years than try to front to steal more money! you feel me! its the audience! its not the morals! these bitches have no moral! if you will make a baby from stolen semen and steal a niggas inheritance from his real kids! you have no morals! its the audience! the media knows that thats why they keep on! you understand! its the hate! thats why this is only gonna end one way! this is the 5th child they are reporting molested on tape by adults since this began! this is only gonna end one way! you feel me doggy! so dont stress it! its not the morals its the audience my nigga! dont ever get it confused! its not the morals! bitches will fuck the HIV MAN FOR MONEY ITS THE AUDIENCE! YOU UDNERSTAND!

  • df

    fg

  • http://www.ab.com AB

    Somebody needs to find and kill jonathan.

    Great post, and ROFL at Rick Ross’ “cans”!

  • http://www.ab.com AB

    OH MY GOD . . . THE COMMENTS SECTION FINALLY WORKS!!!!!

    WOW XXL, IT ONLY TOOK YOU 2 YEARS!

  • jonathan

    and last but not least my nigga! feel me on this! hollywood chicks, chicks who is already paid is having baby’s by men they dont even know or care who’s babies they are having! puffies wife had chris lightys fathers kids! the nigga who him and his brother are molesting MY daugter! do you understand son! and these are comfortable woman! impregnating them selves with the seeds of grown old child molesting thieves and collecting on it! like its not even an issue! but thats done in relative dark except for me mentioning it! you feel me! the world is watching me! so dont think chicks wont do grime! chicks will do whatever for money! even chicks with money! only person I excuse from that list is Halle Berry because she deserves to get paid because she spoke up about the biggotry and the molesting that was taken place and how they killed my baby moms and all that! and probably lost work in hollywood for standing up! you feel me! the rest of them I could careless! seriously! so dont think for one second chicks wont do whatever! chicks will do whatever for money! seriously my nigga! seriously! its the exposure attention! not only are they doing whatever they are agreeing to not talk about what happened to my folks out there and having children in the same breath! its beyond real! you feel me thats like the ultimate oxymorone! someone stole my semen to make children to molest and sacrifice and steal my inheritance people witnessed it and to keep them quiet they agree to have children and get paid! its so unreal you gotta sit and understand! a hoe is a hoe! you feel me! thats some straight up hoe shit! i dont care who say what so for one second dont believe mofuckas aint what they is! you know what itme it is nigga! the attention all eyes on me! you feel me! thats what it is! and everyone knows that! you understand! they been knew that! you feel me!

  • major

    foxy still fine as hell, publicity stunt or not she could get it.

    ps. dude who wrote all them exclamation points….u need a life

  • lmao

    COMMENTS WORK? OMG LOL

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Checking to see if this shit actually works, though I’m willing to be it doesn’t.

  • LBDII

    ROFL.

  • http://www.ab.com AB

    Freepost.

  • jcityhustla617

    its only a matter a time b4 she gets on xxl and u read da BROKEN SILENCE on how rickross feed yo gurl foxxy brown enuff CHYNA WHITE 2 let mr THRILLA get a piece of dat ILL NANA all ova da PORT OF MIAMI

  • $ykotic

    “With a guy, it’s different, because it’s a man’s biological imperative to spread his seed far and wide. A woman, on the other hand, has no such seed.”

    I think you lost them on that one fam!

    Good ish B

    jonathan u need a hug and some soup!

  • http://www.xxlmag.com the chancellor

    Ohh yeeah baby it works!

    Yo bol son bust this…I think this one actually works. Ross and foxy both benefit from the move. I’m not the biggest ross fan or anyone from miami except pitbull…however foxy has got some staying power as far as looks so ya know it can go either way…

    Someone get Jonathan some anti-depresants and *goes to medicine cabinet*
    Syrup. *pours into styrofoam cup

    This shit will kill ya….one hunnid

  • http://www.xxlmag.com the chancellor

    Ohh yeeah baby it works!

    Yo bol son bust this…I think this one actually works. Ross and foxy both benefit from the move. I’m not the biggest ross fan or anyone from miami except pitbull…however foxy has got some staying power as far as looks so ya know it can go either way…

    Someone get Jonathan some anti-depressants and *goes to medicine cabinet*
    Syrup. *pours into styrofoam cup

    This shit will kill ya….one hunnid

  • http://social.zune.net/member/levar+hustle levar+hustle

    bol – the relationship is real. got it confirmed via reliable third-party sources.
    personally i think ricky needs to trade up.

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

    niggas everywhere bang busted broads for free.

    anyway, i thought the same shit when i heard about this.

  • Jonathan and the kid

    YO THIS THA KID!! SHOUTS TO JONATHAN! SERIOUSLY! BUT CHECK IT! ALL WOMEN HATE MEN DEEP DOWN! YA DIG! SO THEY WILL SABOTAGE A NIGGA! IM TELLIN YALL ITS SABOTAGE! IMMA SET IT STRAIT! SERIOUSLY! THERE AINT NEVER BEEN A BITCH THAT COULD OVERPOWER THA KID! OR JONATHAN! YA DIG!! MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY! THAT SHIT FUCKS WITH A BITCH MIND! YA DIG! SO TO EVEN SHIT OUT BITCHES PUT MEASURE INTRINSIC VALUE OF THEMSELVES BASED ON THE AMOUNT OF ATTENTION THEY RECEIVE! GOOD OR BAD! YA DIG! ITS A COMPETITION! SERIOUSLY! YOU VS JONATHAN AND THA KID! YA DIG! YOU LOSE! YOU FEEL ME DOGGY! THA KID # 1 PLAYER IN THA GAME RIGHT NOW! TOPDOG! TOPGUN! YA DIG!

  • niggafrommemphis

    Fuck xxl for even thinking this some news.if jay z and beyonce weren’t shit,who could give a damn about ross and foxy

  • og bobby j

    Son…ricky ross need to leave that prison stank alone…plus we all know AZ was tearin that nana up for ages….firm? I think not.

    On the other hand….i would splash that white on her milk bladders all day.

    Jonathan….please go play in traffic.

  • Jonathan and tha kid

    YO THIS THA KID! SHOUTS TO JONATHAN! SERIOUSLY!
    CANT NOBODY KNOCK ME OFF MY THRONE RIGHT NOW! IM TOO HIGH UP FOR YOU SMALL ASS NIGGAS! YA DIG! CAPICHE! THAT AINT RAIN DROPS NIGGA THATS MY SPIT! CAPICHE! CANT NONE OF YALL NIGGAS SEE ME ON THE COURT NEITHER! CAPICHE! I PLAY BASKETBALL A LOT! SERIOUSLY! FUCK YOU TOO BOL! CAPICHE! SAW YOUR FAT ASS IN THE FOOD COURT OF THE BASEMENT OF THE GATEWAY ARCH 2 SUMMERS AGO! SERIOUSLY! YA DIG! FUCK YOU ! YOU DRINK BUD LIGHT! BUSCH NIGGA! BUSCH!

  • fireforreal

    Foxy brown is more washed up then Ashanti. Her cd/mixtape is garbage she can’t stay from doing stupid shit and she hasn’t had a good song since 01′ and keeps blaiming everyone but herself.Why would Rick have a chicked head like her ? she’s not a star anymore she’s the female bobby brown still living off the past.

  • Sleepy Wonder

    Who Looks Better Topless, Bol Or Rick Ross?

    • http://www.asf.com Bol

      Definitely me. Especially when I shave my chest.

  • KLETEWOOD

    HAHAHA Sleepy Wonder…

    Bol probably looks like the Hamburgler with tits!

  • Penelope Rodriguez

    Her cans, which have only improved with age (who’d a thunkit?) are all pressed up against his cans, which I’ve seen far too much of as of late. No homo.

    ^^^^LMAO you had me rolling with this one bol.

    Anyway I was never a fan of foxy brown, and rick ross–i could care less about him. But i don’t think it’s a publicity stunt though. They seem to like each other. the sad shit is that foxy’s not even 30 yet and she’s washed up. what’s she gonna do for the rest of her life lol

  • EbenGregory

    Bol, u funny. U need to do some Jewelry Man on-liners. Google him.

  • G’S UP HOES DOWN

    YO JONATHAN IS A GENIUS. I HEARD HIM SAY SOME OFF THE WALL CRAZY SHIT B4, BUT HE DROPPED SOME SERIOUS JUELZ ON YALL TODAY…COPY AND PASTE DAT SHIT SOMEWHERE AND READ IT TIL IT SINKS IN. EVEN YO MAMA HATE YO DADDY. THINK ABOUT IT. PIMPS UP.HOES DOWN.1

  • chad bro chill

    Could a Rick Ross/Foxy Brown sex tape be in order? I shudder at the thought.

    i think i threw up in my mouth but its ok… its just beer

  • Japanese Republican

    damn dude you had me rollin on this one, you like southpark, everybody likes to hear ur shit until its time for you to diss they fav rapper, mine is lil wayne so you cool (for now)

  • Ignant fuks

    Yaw niggahz is trippin, foxy fine as frog hair with all that coco drippin from that phat ass. I’d superman that chocolate latte’, and take her 2 breakfast in the morn’n.

    You’re girl is smart(plus she learned to control her gag reflex very well!), and Rick is just the niggah 2 give her relevancy status a boost. All you niggahz is talk’n, flippin you flap jacks, and using your cake hole for more that eat’n sweets. If she wasn’t relevant know one would say shit about her…

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    This is like the rent-to-own version of J.D. and Janet. Can you buy that?

  • giantstepp

    Her cans, which have only improved with age (who’d a thunkit?) are all pressed up against his cans, which I’ve seen far too much of as of late. No homo.

    U a fool for this one Bol, LMAO! Oh, and I co-sign about finding and killing that fool Jonathan

  • JANGZ

    Haha another interesting read Bol ()…Foxy could still get it as some1 else said

  • skeme25

    LMAO – That dude said he prob. look like the Hamburgler with tits!!!

    My daughter wants to go to McDonalds – not today!!!

  • 239allday

    Bol! your whole life is a publicity stunt. 239 HO

  • Nah

    I agree with you this time.
    As soon as that shit got out the first thing I thought was this bitch is desperate and she trying to get back on. SMH

  • http://myspace.com/seend Sindanu

    “Otherwise, I might need to start mailing my picture to girls in prison, along with a Greyhound ticket to the great state of Misery.”
    HILARIOUS!

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=22151 jay

    I mean, the guy’s got money; and the world is full of fucked up-looking guys who can still pull attractive women, just because they’ve got money. It’s one of the few reasons I wake up in the morning afternoon
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    lmao u stay havin me rollin wit these posts.. on point

  • dusty boy

    Rick Ross is coo but he aint no fuckin’ Boss of the South!!! Slim Thugs been in the game for a long ass time and even when he was with the Swishahouse when he 1st came out he been called him-self the BOSS of the SOUTH!! Ross need to find some new shit to call him-self!!

    BOSSHOGG OUTLAWZ!!! Slum Thug is the BOSS!!!

    Awready!!!!

  • http://eazy-duz-it.blogspot.com/ The MuthaFuckin Devil’s Son in Law

    Bol, you the HNIC of this rap bloggin’ shit.

    Hit me up if you need somethin’ son.

    One.

  • http://eazy-duz-it.blogspot.com/ Eazy E

    click my name bitches. I never died.