A Vacation From Ourselves…

XXL Mag family,
What the fuck is good with y’all for the summer? School’s been out for a minute unless you are doing a bid for the summer. Sorry folk, but if you are in summer school you are losing biggtime. If you couldn’t get your shit right when everybody else was doing it I suggest you do what I did. Drop the fuck out. I have no college degree and a fucking G.E.D. and I am in St. Maarten right now. Fuck a school. Buy yourself a thesaurus and get yourself a Mexican work ethic. Everything else will work itself out in the wash.

Even though I am on vaycay the online editor at the X spot still expects the staff to keep their shit regulack as if I was drinking a Metamucil smoothie. So here’s a drop from the sunny Caribbean bitches.

The Top 5 Chickenhead Vacation Locations…

This is where I USED to kickback until I upgraded my lifestyle.

5. South Beach, Miami
Fools really think they ballin’ when they go to South Beach. True story is that Miami is filled to the brim with immigrants and faggots.

4. Myrtle Beach, South Cackalalck
I said Myrtle Beach but the real chickenhead spot in S.C. is Atlantic Beach. Back in 1999 I went to the Black Biker weekend there and ended up fingerbanging a shorty in a vacant lot. Southern broads keep shit hardbody. Remember that broad that went to strip for them Duke boys came to the party high?

3. D – Motherfucking Troit
Fuck around with a bitch from Flint for the summer and your ass will become a certified gangster. Flint Michigan chicks are the most gangster hardbody chicks on the planet. Even Haitian broads bow down. For real.

2. Coney Island, Brooklyn
When I was a youth this was the best boardwalk evar. Coney Island is overrun now with Mexicans and all their associated derivatives (Puerto Rican, Dominican, etc.). Its still my spot though to take my lady when I want to smell some ocean but my pockets are flatter than Paris Hilton’s breasts.

1. VA Beach, Virginia
First off, you can’t call that shit Virginia Beach. You have to call it VAAA Beach. Military Highway Mall is the most ghetto mall in the history of ghetto malls. Sneaker stores, baby clothes stores and nail salons. And a motherfuckin’ McDonald’s. Twenty years ago me and my niggas started a riot on VA Beach during the Labor Day Greekfest. NWA’s ‘Straight Out Of Compton’ was our fucking soundtrack. Shit was fun the first night. The following day the National Guard came in and shut down all the bullshit. I’m going to VA Beach for the 4th of July weekend this year. Shouts to all the hos from Portsmouth, Newport News, Richmond, Petersburg and the whole D.M.V.

Take a vacation my niggas. Get your mind right.

Wale – ‘The Vacation From Ourselves’

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  • boltfromthablue


  • http://www.incilin.blogspot.com Incilin

    “Sneaker stores, baby clothes stores and nail salons. And a motherfuckin’ McDonald’s.”

    ^^^ Dude, that sounds like every mall in the history of malls. Except for maybe the nail salon.

    I gota say, all the complaints about Mexicans and immigrants you mention make you sound like a bit of a bigot.

  • FaMe

    tell the online editor to go somewhere wit that shit cause y’all niggas need a break. i don’t know how you could make up shit to write about every single day. ain’t enough shit goin on in music to even try to make that happen. so i guess that’s why most of these writers just regurgitate the same shit and you guys even made a lil wayne section on the site now. that’s sad


  • master cheef


    your drops couldn’t be more sporadic.

    wtf does this have to do with hip hop? oh yeah, you managed to throw a link to a wack rapper in. Bravo.

    the mean ole editor should leave poor little bxs alone. he must be crazy, wanting you to contribute like the other bloggers. doesnt he know you are “special”?

  • 239allday

    I have never been out the state of Florida with (the exception of goin to Haiti a couple of times) so I can’t even much speak any other places. But one thangs for sure nigga, South Beach is OFFICIAL. If you have no game and you want to get your knob slobbed, I suggest you pay a visit.

    And them Haitian bitches are definitely more gutter than Detroit hoodrats.

  • og bobby j

    feel you (no homo) on this shit…..Im all about the vacation……

    fuck what ya heard….the jersey shore got made easy broads….

    come down….you be 3 knuckles deep by brunch my dude.

  • P-Matik

    Norfolk….Military Circle Mall is the spot to get a skee-o. You want to find a decent joint you go to MacArthur Mall.

    Man I wouldn’t take a leak in Virginia Beach anymore. Just breathing too hard will get you thrown in the paddy wagon. Ever since ninjas tore up the strip during Greekfest that time, the SWAT team is down there every weekend looking to crack a head.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com Benicio Del Thoro

    Detroit What!!!

    Metro-Detroit is poppin. Flint is cool, if that’s what you wanna do, but chicks in Flint will snatch ya chain. That’s all the way real.

    “I’m sorry George, you’ve gotta get a job.”

  • Worley

    Yeah, VA is a military state. That’s also where the first slaves landed. I avoid the place at all costs.

    MIA is my sh*t though.

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    destin, FL.

    cinqueterra, IT.

    big sur, CA.

  • Maddolies

    That “Broad” U Fingerbanged Turned Out 2 be Ur Sister

  • thaFace

    South Padre Island nigga and that Wale is fire, good looking out

  • kells

    first time i ever heard any of Wale’s music….dude is kinda nice…

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    Please don’t sleep on those bitches from Flint. Is all I’m saying.

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    Amen to that shit, my brother. Vacation time it is.

    I’m headed to New Orleans this coming weekend with wifey for the Essence Festival. I’ll keep cats posted as to what the trill deal is.

    And, of course:

    G.R.I.T.S. >>>>>>>>>> Any women on the planet.


    you forgot about the jersey shore and vegas if you can’t get pussy in vegas you should kill yourself. you get chicks from all around the world who go there plus pussy comes in from cali. it’s like some unreal pussy playland can’t wait to go again. also fort walton beach, panama city all those areas around that part of florida that when you land there you gotta set your watch back a hour. also and of the easiest places to go to for a little vaca to get pussy if your not white is canada. i have been to ontario and toronto the attention is unreal. you know those corny movies where they make fun that this is the only black person in the party. well i was up there one time and we was at this little bar and we met some chicks and one of them happened to be married to the only black person who lives in the town. it was the funniest shit ever every one called him flip because he looked like flip wilson. okay another mention is poland, finland, norway, germany and just about any country with low to none black population. the women there loves us man the men might hate but shit we only visiting. i was dating a polish chick before she told me if i would go to her country a lot of women would want to fuck me. she said because there are almost no dark skinned people there. she said they would touch me to see if my skin is real that would be some crazy shit.

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    Yo, here’s some funny shit.

    blacker cracker hit me on my blog yesterday, like he’s some type of intelligent person I want commenting on the shit I write.

    So since he made his name here, I just wanted to publicly say that he’s on my dick and needs more attention from the XXL commenters. When you see him posting, show him some love. Internet thugs need hugs.

    Nolo to all of that there.

    I just wanted to reiterate that there are no vacancies for losers at Hotel Underwriter.

  • sb

    son that was you? i remember that virginia beach shit, that was the good ole days

  • Pingback: Vacation time « Filling the Glass

  • HAHA

    “even haitian bitches bow down”
    classic laugh of the day

  • http://kimonareflectance.blogspot.com Hester Baca

    Hah I’m actually the first comment to this incredible writing.