A Vacation From Ourselves…
XXL Mag family,
What the fuck is good with y’all for the summer? School’s been out for a minute unless you are doing a bid for the summer. Sorry folk, but if you are in summer school you are losing biggtime. If you couldn’t get your shit right when everybody else was doing it I suggest you do what I did. Drop the fuck out. I have no college degree and a fucking G.E.D. and I am in St. Maarten right now. Fuck a school. Buy yourself a thesaurus and get yourself a Mexican work ethic. Everything else will work itself out in the wash.
Even though I am on vaycay the online editor at the X spot still expects the staff to keep their shit regulack as if I was drinking a Metamucil smoothie. So here’s a drop from the sunny Caribbean bitches.
The Top 5 Chickenhead Vacation Locations…
This is where I USED to kickback until I upgraded my lifestyle.
5. South Beach, Miami
Fools really think they ballin’ when they go to South Beach. True story is that Miami is filled to the brim with immigrants and faggots.
4. Myrtle Beach, South Cackalalck
I said Myrtle Beach but the real chickenhead spot in S.C. is Atlantic Beach. Back in 1999 I went to the Black Biker weekend there and ended up fingerbanging a shorty in a vacant lot. Southern broads keep shit hardbody. Remember that broad that went to strip for them Duke boys came to the party high?
3. D – Motherfucking Troit
Fuck around with a bitch from Flint for the summer and your ass will become a certified gangster. Flint Michigan chicks are the most gangster hardbody chicks on the planet. Even Haitian broads bow down. For real.
2. Coney Island, Brooklyn
When I was a youth this was the best boardwalk evar. Coney Island is overrun now with Mexicans and all their associated derivatives (Puerto Rican, Dominican, etc.). Its still my spot though to take my lady when I want to smell some ocean but my pockets are flatter than Paris Hilton’s breasts.
1. VA Beach, Virginia
First off, you can’t call that shit Virginia Beach. You have to call it VAAA Beach. Military Highway Mall is the most ghetto mall in the history of ghetto malls. Sneaker stores, baby clothes stores and nail salons. And a motherfuckin’ McDonald’s. Twenty years ago me and my niggas started a riot on VA Beach during the Labor Day Greekfest. NWA’s ‘Straight Out Of Compton’ was our fucking soundtrack. Shit was fun the first night. The following day the National Guard came in and shut down all the bullshit. I’m going to VA Beach for the 4th of July weekend this year. Shouts to all the hos from Portsmouth, Newport News, Richmond, Petersburg and the whole D.M.V.
Take a vacation my niggas. Get your mind right.
Wale – ‘The Vacation From Ourselves’