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Who Let The Dogs Out?

You know why Diddy always avoids jail time? He doesn’t have a lifestyle that lends itself towards institutionalization. Diddy travels to St. Tropez. Diddy takes bubble baths. Diddy smashes Sienna Miller. More rappers need to do what Diddy does.

Diddy hangs out at the Kentucky Derby. Most rappers are at strip clubs or dog fights. Please note the case of Sean Bell’s murder and understand why strip clubs aren’t going to be included in healthy lifestyle living. Also study Michael Vick and DMX’s issues with dog owning to realize that isn’t a viable choice either. I’m pretty sure that some rappers could find a way to make owning fish illegal too.

Did any of you study how a horse was shot and killed at the Kentucky Derby because it broke its ankles? No one from Peoples Ethical Treatment of Animals said a peep either. Why? Horses are bred improperly just like dogs and even though horses aren’t biting one another like these dogs they are still being euthanized when they break a leg. Horse owning needs to become part of the rapper lifestyle. I hear all these rapppers talk about their wild money and their high-end designer shoes, but no one raps about owning a horse farm with a few hundred acres.

Even Jay-Z who is arguably Hip-Hop’s richest rapper (what, no “richest rapper” list MTV?) never rhymes about owning horses and he deals in multi-million dollar deals. I don’t think that rappers lack the money in as much as they lack the lifestyle that would lead up to ownership of things like vast acres of real estate. I mean, you see that Birdman puts his money into a sheet rock wall instead of using a proficient tax lawyer to help him launder his shit.

From now on if rappers talk about money it better be on some next level shit, like how do I increase my FiCO score, what the nex tax codes mean, or what city has the best value in real estate. Otherwise I’m going to start thinking that these rappers are as poor as I am. I just got my stimulus money in and I copped a fifth of Henrock. Next stop is to hit up my white boy with the mango hashish. Kids, don’t be like me. Drugs are bad.

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