If you have been coming here for the past year you know that I like to do semi-annual assessments on the hardbody status of regions in this country.
The East has pretty much held shit in check overall thanks to all the wild jigs in Detroit, Camden and Philly. Yes bitches, Detroit wakes up to EST(no Acknickolous) and not CST like Chi and the Lou.
The South stays hardbody thanks to dead people still being fished out of watermains in N’awlins and the singlehanded prowess of Latarian Milton.
The Midwest has KanYe who is the Paris Hilton of the rap game because he is so hot. Hotness is usually 180 degrees from hardbody status but the Midwest has Arizona and Texas. Syzurp reportedly hardens your intestines so you can say that is like getting hardbody by default.
The West ain’t had shit in a minute. The return of Ice Cube? Sheeeeeit! The return of Ice T would get more spins. Body Count was the most hardbody band since Bad Brains.
Speaking of tea. I fucks with McDonbald’s Sweet Tea. Hardbody.
But f’real tho’
The West needed that nigga Game like niggas need pure oxygen in Beijing. Actually, rap music needs that dude even more. Game might be a shameless name-dropping emcee but at least this nigga loves the game. All these commercial niggas love their ice and their champagne and their ladypurses but no one loves the game anymore. Except the Game. And old washed up rappers that no one wants to buy records from.
This ain’t to shit on niggas that is “hot”. I prefer my emcees ice cold like a Kool G Rap verse, but if I am fucking with a “hot” rapper then ‘Ye Tudda be that dude. Is it any coincidence that your favorite rapper spits his best punchline evar after linking up with a profound punchline rapper? If you can’t recognize whose pen that is you need to get on your Colombo, and I ain’t talking about the yogurt.
So Game comes back on the scene to give the West a spark(no Lisa Leslie) and everyone.is starting to hate? Yeah, we already addressed the fact that sonn is a shameless namedropper. At least this nigga shows love to fucking rappers though. Most rappers now is name dropping Italian fags that make high fucking heels. Is these niggas watching ‘Sex and the City’?
I can’t lie though I watch that shit too and dream about smashing the brunette and snacking on her seat.
For all we know this nigga Game had a love affair with Dr. Dre that Fifty Cent broke up. For all I care I don’t even give a fuck. All I ever want is dope rhymes over dope beats to enjoy while I get right on this park bench on 34th Street.
Niggas just turned off the orange and blue lights on the Empire State Building. Time for me to get my ass on the subway.
Someone let me know what happened with the Spurs and the Hornets.