We got to do better

So yesterday, my little brother and I went over to my parents’ house for Mother’s Day. We had some of those incredible steaks they sell at Whole Foods and some Bud Light (fuck the haters). It was a pretty good time.

I can’t remember how, but we got to talking about Pimp C, and I was like, “It’s too bad he’s no longer with us.” My mom, who must not have heard back when it happened, was like, “Pimp C is dead?” She seemed genuinely surprised and, dare I say it, saddened.

My mom has been reading my shit since day one, but she’s not the most tech savvy person in the world (my bad, mom), and as an old-ass woman, she’s got better things to do than be sitting around on the Internets all day.

So she must have missed this post.

I explained to her that he used to drink sizzurp, and it, combined with his sleep apnea, caused him to stop breathing while he was asleep, and he ended up dying.

My mom thought I might have been talking about Robitussin, but I explained to her that it was a certain kind of prescription cough syrup that contained some shit called codeine and promethazine, which is generally mixed with shit like Sprite and Jolly Ranchers.

She was like, “Oh yeah, I think I might have some of that in the cabinet.” She said a doctor had prescribed it to her a few years when she was having some bad sinus issues. She said she tried it, but she couldn’t take it, because it was too gross.

I told her if she could find it, I would take it off of her hands, so I could use it in a post, in which I would try sizzurp and report what it was like. She looked, but she couldn’t find it. She said she had probably thrown it out the last time she cleaned out the cabinets.

Damn.

It got me to thinking though: Why is it that these rappers, who have so much money and could probably spend their free time doing anything they want, end up doing stupid shit like developing an addiction to prescription cough syrup?

Take for example DMX. This weekend, I see he got arrested for what had to be at least the second time in the span of a one-week period. I know earlier last week, he’d gotten arrested for driving ridonkulously fast and not having a legit driver’s license, i.e. his favorite pastime. And then I see he got arrested again the other day, for cruelty to animals and drug possession, i.e. his two other favorite things to do.

Now, it’s the rare occasion when more than a few months go by without DMX getting caught with some crack or doing something insane in a car. And usually, he manages to get away with just a slap on the wrist, as if he was Busta Rhymes. But I’m wondering if, with this latest series of arrests, DMX’s luck hasn’t run out on him. And I say that for a few reasons.

First of all, there’s that mugshot of him, taken after his most recent arrest. DMX always did kinda look like he was on crack (I wonder why that is…), but I’ve never seen him look quite this fucked up. Take a look at his eyes in the shot that ran along with the MTV story about the second arrest. He looks like he’s pretty much gone.

Then there’s the fact that he killed all of those dogs. Something tells me that DMX could’ve gone on the rest of his life, i.e. at least two more years, smoking himself silly and pretending as if he was an FBI agent and what have you, but he probably tripped fucking around with those pit bulls. If Michael Vick got hard time for what he did, what’s there to suggest that a washed up DMX won’t get buried under the jail?

If he does, the worst thing about it will be the fact that, despite his obviously prodigious crack habit, DMX almost certainly could have afforded to breed pit bulls the right way, if that’s what he wanted to do.

Why in the world someone with that kind of money would want to play with dogs – or drink prescription cough syrup, for that matter – is beyond me. But you guys know I’m not the most understanding person in the world. And I’ve definitely had my share of issues with dogs. What do you fruits think? These rappers need to find themselves some better hobbies, right? Speak on it.

  • NotTheOne

    SUNKIST AND WELCH’S GRAPE SODA!!

  • Matt

    First!!!!!

    • EReal

      Yeah, Matt, you’re first in line to blow dicks, fag! Nullus!

      Anyway, I think that DMX thinks he’s Buns from Belly still.

      Direct Quote: “Im out here smokin weed, speedin, all that shit, fuck it, thats me, UNTOUCHABLE!”

      LMAO!

      Nas: “Whens the last time you read a book?”
      DMX: “NEVER MOTHERFUCKER!!!”

      BAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHA!!!

  • DMX

    i like the way bol looks when hes sleeping, your mother raised you to be a very special boy

  • God Melodic

    Love those three ts in “bettter” (sic). Irony, thy name is Bol.

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      I’m not gonna lie. I didn’t spend a whole lot of time on this one.

  • B

    Matt, you fruit… someone should write a post dedicated to you fools who insist on shouting “first”… like you just laid your claim on some fuckin mountain top. Bol, I gotta call you out on that… tryin to drink your mom’s cough syrup. The fact that it wasn’t a joke was all the more disturbing.

  • http://www.fakeshoredrive.blogspot.com AB

    Imagine the Crawford’s sitting around talking about Pimp C and syrup. I mean, I know Chad Butler has come up in my household a few times as well. His contributions just can’t be overlooked.

    And in his latest mugshot, and I’m by no means an expert, he looks like one of those “before and after” Meth head pics.

  • major

    Matt, you fruit… someone should write a post dedicated to you fools who insist on shouting “first”… like you just laid your claim on some fuckin mountain top

    LMAO! wats worse is the niggas who say “Second”. WTF is dat?? lol

  • Meech

    X looks all messed up in that mugshot.

    Just say NO

  • chris r

    I feel you on this post. I cant understand being rich as fuck and not just chillin on some obscure island with 2 or 3 foreign bitches. Maybe thats just me. Im a broke ass college student and I try to stay outta trouble so I dont fuck what little I got going for me. These niggaz got tha world and stay tryna fuck it up

  • yeeeee

    Rich white people play the stock market and just get richer.

  • CHICAGO PaPii

    DMX has just earned Hall Of Fame status in The National Association Of CrackHeads. This Negroe is starting to enter into Whitney Houston/Bobby Brown Territory with killing doggies and snortin lots of Diet Coke, smoking Crack like it’s still the 60′s or some looney shit. Soon they gon have his Bat-shit crazy ass wildin on mutafuckas in concert like a certain Ex-Bone Thugs N Harmony member who stays doing shit that certainly privy to land him in a Mental Institute.

    • King B

      Ay shut that shit up DMX is far from perfect but don’t diss a legend in the hip hop game I don’t know what he was thinking but he needs to stop this shit asap because he won’t just gettin a slap on the wrist now them muthafuckas will lock him up for years for killing dogs (which I think isn’t right, they’re just dogs) but we’ll see where this ends at

  • giantstepp

    Bol post some shit about Suge getting his ass knocked the fuck out…u fruit!

  • gerald n. the birdman

    Maybe he could take up collecting high-powered illegal firearms. Just an idea.

  • k swanger

    The irony is that there are rappers with varied interest (i.e. skateboading, comic books…action figues[see Cool Kids]) but for some reason, dumb shit is consider more popular.

    Sad thing is that some teenagers/adult children are going to start using because his/her favorite (current)rapper is in love with lean…

    It’s the exstacy era all over again…

    *takes the half bottle of “Grolsch” to the head and finishes it, and sparks up a half burned blunt.

    Kids these days…

  • nola soldier

    hey bol, nice post……u should def try some sizzurp and you’ll see how its addicting, but if i was rich and famous like these rappers i def would be able to not get addicted, i mean why not just smoke weed all day? thats enough for me

  • PURPLE HAZE

    HE’S GETTIN CHARGED WITH MISDAMEANOR ANIMAL CRUELTY, HE AINT DOIN NO TIME FOR THAT SO STOP WITH ALL THIS BULLSHIT BOUT HIM GETTIN BURIED.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin

    yeah them niggaz could spend their downtime blazin a pound of Kush and playin GTA4 for some inspiration of writing the next hood classic….

  • droopey

    I think its time we brought Chris Rock’s theory in on this. Niggaz are rich but they don’t create wealth for what ever reason. Money is new to niggaz.

  • Big Rizz

    The money is the problem…..He doesnt have to grind like he used to and therefore has nothing TO do other than kill dogs and smoke crack, The nigga sold mad albums and had a good deal(maybe). Or at least he didnt spend beyond his means. That man came from the dirt and that upbringing is the exact same thing that did him in. Even when you get out of the hood, you still got the hood in you. (You’d think a nigga that barks like that would respect dogs alittle more)

  • Deez Nutz

    Add Papoose to your list…smdh

  • Justice

    Trust in Jesus, Man will let you down everytime.

  • http://xxlmag.com Cal

    Bol: and as an old-ass woman, she’s got better things to do than be sitting around on the Internets all day.

    I thought you said all old people in your fam were dead, what the Friggins!!!???

  • BIGNAT

    because when you have lots of money and get shit for free you get bored. look at robert downey junior he was fucked up for most his life because when you got money and fame. people just wanna keep the party going with you. shit if i had lots of money i would workout smoke weed and fuck all day. dmx sold lots of albums but he is like easy e in the sense that he don’t really wear much jewelry. or wear alot of high priced clothes so he got a good amount of money.