Trapped by a cougar

These days, you can hardly pick up one of these magazines that consists mostly of pictures of black women with huge asses without seeing a bunch of pictures of old-ass women. I’m wondering, what the fuck is going is going on? Is old pussy really where it’s at these days, and if so does that mean the price is about to come down on young pussy? Because if so, that could work out well for me personally.

Just now, I came across the cover of the new Smooth magazine (no Boutros), which features that broad LisaRaye. Back in the 1990s, she was in 2Pac’s video for “Toss It Up,” and that Ice Cube movie The Player’s Club. And she wasn’t even that young back then. Now, she’s 41 going on 42 years old.

Her body, as it appears on the Smooth cover, looks to be incredibly tight and well-preserved for her age, but you know how that goes. These days, you never can tell how a broad’s body looks, to look at the pictures they run in these magazines, what with the ridonkulous level of photoshopping they do. They could probably take any ol’ black chick off the street and have her looking like Esther Baxter.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw one of these broads in XXL’s Eye Candy section and thought to myself, “Wow, that’s the most incredible ass I’ve ever seen. It seems almost unreal.” And then you see their ass in one of those videos they run on this site and it looks like some Palestinian kids have thrown rocks at it. I’m not saying I wouldn’t hit, I’m just saying. Let’s see how your ass really looks.

Listed on the cover of this month’s Smooth is another broad who’s old enough to be a black person’s grandma – Stacy Dash, who just so happens to be on the cover of this month’s King. The picture of Stacy Dash on the cover of this month’s King is even more impressive than the Smooth cover with LisaRaye, in the sense that you can actually see her ass, and it appears to be in about as good a shape as a woman’s ass can get.

But like I said, these days you never can tell.

Elsewhere on the Internets, it seems like all you’ve seen this week is examples of older broads on the come up. The other day, I came across some pictures of what Halle Berry’s cans look like now that she’s given birth, and I damn near had to change my shorts. And I see that Nick Cannon has joined the ranks of Ursher and Ashton Kutcher, in getting trapped by one of these cougars – in this case, Mariah Carey of all people.

Um, what gives?

I guess part of it’s that there’s a genuine case to be made that black chicks age better than white chicks. Sure, the majority of them aren’t worth a shit by the time they’re 20, but the ones that are tend to stay in pretty decent shape well into middle age. White chicks, on the other hand? Not so much. You might see older white chicks on the cover of magazines all the time, but how often do you actually see their asses?

And if you’re a young bum such as myself, getting with one of these older broads can be a come up. In the black community, in particular, there’s legions of older broads with decent jobs who couldn’t get laid if they were passed out drunk on a bed in Damon Dash’s hotel room. Take for example this story from the Root the other day, in which some 40 year-old black chick complains that she hasn’t had sex in 10 years.

I smell an opportunity.

That said, I’m still not sure if I’m sold on the idea of having sex with these old-ass women. Even when I get to be that age myself, provided I don’t drop dead of a heart attack before then, something tells me I’m still gonna prefer 20 year-old pussy to 40 year-old pussy. What can I say, I’m a misogynist like that. What do you fruits think? Is old pussy the wave of the future, or could these hip-hop magazines use some new models?

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    Old pussy was always the best pussy. Who was the first chick that ever gave you a handjob? In most Black men’s lives its their grandma (since mom was prA’li out giving some irresponsible dude her pussy).

    Old pussy is seasoned like a muvv too. I love old pussy, not as a gag, I love a sexy septugenarian. I ‘m waiting for Vanessa Williams to turn 60 and then I am going after her ass hardbody.

    BTW, peep LisaRaye’s gnarled up hands and then you can see her real age. That bitch is 50. Believe that.

    • Rizob

      ^^^^^dick riding at its best^^^^^

    • http://www.ab.com Mr. Alex

      That shit about grandmas is not cool, ok? Not. Cool.

    • IRONHEAD

      Who was the first chick that ever gave you a handjob? In most Black men’s lives its their grandma

      Just when you thought you knew a thing or two about black people… ;-)

      • http://www.ab.com Mr. Alex

        This is insane.

  • sb

    boy don’t you know black don’t crack… the older woman are holding it down nowadays…hell i see some 40 year olds looking better than some 20 year old… i go to the gym and these women are no joke….homie you may need to sample a mature woman, im sure she would put something on your ass….

    • akaTheRealist

      true that. if you wanna pick up a bad bitch, go to the gym. I was at Golds Gym out here in VA, and I didn’t have enough fingers to count how many just white women with asses out of this orbit.

  • deezhul

    u killed again bol.good post.lmao @ billy sunday comment

  • Pierzy

    Old puss is definitely the truth. They know what they’re doing and they’re grateful for the opportunity…not like these 20 year old stuck-up broads.

  • Krack Ko Kain

    Jennifer Tilly is white. And she 50. And the bitch is bad.

  • ATL = All Trannies Live

    Got’s to be careful, b/c clearly you can get worms from older women (its a medical fact). Never go more than 11 years over your age.

    • http://www.ab.com Mr. Alex

      That’s bullshit. I bang cougars on the regular, and all I’ve ever gotten was herpes.

  • jamon

    ‘And then you see their ass in one of those videos they run on this site and it looks like some Palestinian kids have thrown rocks at it.’

    I damn near crap’d my pants laughing at that statement, HI-larioius post BOL

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=21284 jay

    i got 2 answers to that and a final verdict…

    answer 1.. i love young pussy cuz its less used, probably alot tighter and looks better

    answer 2.. i love older pussy cuz the chicks probably experienced knows how to ride a dick better than a younger women and milfs r hot

    and the final verdict is fuck it pussy is pussy i dont give a fuck if shes 40 or 18 if u look good got a decent body ima pipe it :)

    • Choc

      Co-sign that pussy is pussy. The one thing I must agree with is that we could use some new models. If King and Smooth are reduced to asses we have been up on since the 90′s then thats not looking good for the future.

  • ace rockarolla

    you forgot about dwayne wade and star jones. that shit is fucked up.

  • daesonesb

    that line about palestinian kids made me laugh, but i think what got a bigger rise out of me was that shit about getting whacked off by your granny that b sunday said.

    I am trying my best not to imagine how terrible it would be to get a fucking hand job off my grandmother. Was that a joke or am I just out of touch with what people in New York are up to these days?

    what the fucking fuck?

  • M

    i ran into stacy dash at the post office the other day. her ass is rock baby. rockkk.

  • AmpGeez a.k.a Amplified Grammar

    Old Pussy-Meh
    Old Pussy w/Money-Jackpot!! Pass the geritol & a bottle of lube!!

  • monique r.

    Well…these chics don’t have literally have a bigger pelvis…and all that ass just couldn’t be muscle or else they would look more like those dykeish tennis twins. Thus, all that ass is fat. And it’s not really possible to have that much fat in one area without the presence of cellulite (or silicone?).

  • stoneyisland

    I’d take a bad ass 40 year old woman over a bad ass 20 year old woman anytime of the day! women dont hit their sexual peak till around 40 plus they know what they want and how they want it, fuck all the acrobats and positions. I dont have all day to bang some young ass broad who wouldnt know an orgasm if the shit knocked on the door:)

  • k swanger

    Young pussy is like fast food…Old pussy is a home cooked meal.

    Depends on what you got time for.

  • 7 V5A 7

    Black old pussy Shittttt….Black women lose their edge at 25 and finally realize they fucked up in the past frontin on good brothers.Thats when they stop frontin on giving head and try to suck you until they have lockjaw and hope u propose…NOT

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    Old pussy is most likely drier and flappier. I like mines fresh. But not bald. Old pussy is probably wealthier, though. And young pussy is probably not kegeled up enough to know how to get that kung-fu grip action.

    Barbara Bush > Jenna Bush

  • BUKKA BUKKA

    “…another broad who’s old enough to be a black person’s grandma”

    Undercover classic line.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com jackpot

    Man, I’ve been looking for a cougar my damn self.

  • geico lizard

    Billy X is right if you want to know how old a woman is look at her hands or her neck because plastic surgery cant do anything about keeping those from looking like nutsacks after they hit 40 or 50. you are right Bol about old white women not preserving because most of them end up looking like one of the golden girls they never end up like a lena horne or dianne carroll. i heard older women have less drama than younger women but older women sometimes try to act like your mom.

  • BIGNAT

    it’s as simple as this most older women have no problems or drama and they do everything you like already. when i was 19 i was fucking a 36 year old women who was barren. didn’t need a condom it was the best fucking time of my life. if they are older and have no kids thats even better you can lay up in the house all you want.

    • iLL

      Now you got HPV bare backin that geezer. ugh.

    • Deez Nutz

      Lol @ lilnat’s HIV having azz…bama said she was barren so he didnt need a condom…lmao…you probably disappearing into thin air as you typed your email…so she was barren and 36 so that meant that everyone she f*cked probably thought the same as you…you probably as std infested cess pool…i could get in your shyt all day with that dumbazz statement (n/h)

  • BossGame

    Helen Mirren could get it all day long

  • I_CON

    I co-sign in capitals new P old P coochie is coochie somw older broads can be maad tight down there and younger girls be kins loose dependant on exprience and even they weight, if they mad bag they someties are uhmm.. big down below : ) its funny cos young P can be stuck up and go on 2 nice but the cougars have been there dun that and can be cock teasers im messin with one right about now who loves to dress up and show me how tight her body is for damn near 40 it be funny 2 me but just go with it hell if she want to ho it for me at that age ima get mine yo hola

  • Deez Nutz

    Any p*ssy is greater than no pussy Troll…but i guess you want have to have actually had p*ssy to understand that…You pay for young p*ssy, old p*ssy pays you…get a clue manute (bol)

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