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Trapped by a cougar

These days, you can hardly pick up one of these magazines that consists mostly of pictures of black women with huge asses without seeing a bunch of pictures of old-ass women. I’m wondering, what the fuck is going is going on? Is old pussy really where it’s at these days, and if so does that mean the price is about to come down on young pussy? Because if so, that could work out well for me personally.

Just now, I came across the cover of the new Smooth magazine (no Boutros), which features that broad LisaRaye. Back in the 1990s, she was in 2Pac’s video for “Toss It Up,” and that Ice Cube movie The Player’s Club. And she wasn’t even that young back then. Now, she’s 41 going on 42 years old.

Her body, as it appears on the Smooth cover, looks to be incredibly tight and well-preserved for her age, but you know how that goes. These days, you never can tell how a broad’s body looks, to look at the pictures they run in these magazines, what with the ridonkulous level of photoshopping they do. They could probably take any ol’ black chick off the street and have her looking like Esther Baxter.

If I had a nickel for every time I saw one of these broads in XXL’s Eye Candy section and thought to myself, “Wow, that’s the most incredible ass I’ve ever seen. It seems almost unreal.” And then you see their ass in one of those videos they run on this site and it looks like some Palestinian kids have thrown rocks at it. I’m not saying I wouldn’t hit, I’m just saying. Let’s see how your ass really looks.

Listed on the cover of this month’s Smooth is another broad who’s old enough to be a black person’s grandma – Stacy Dash, who just so happens to be on the cover of this month’s King. The picture of Stacy Dash on the cover of this month’s King is even more impressive than the Smooth cover with LisaRaye, in the sense that you can actually see her ass, and it appears to be in about as good a shape as a woman’s ass can get.

But like I said, these days you never can tell.

Elsewhere on the Internets, it seems like all you’ve seen this week is examples of older broads on the come up. The other day, I came across some pictures of what Halle Berry’s cans look like now that she’s given birth, and I damn near had to change my shorts. And I see that Nick Cannon has joined the ranks of Ursher and Ashton Kutcher, in getting trapped by one of these cougars – in this case, Mariah Carey of all people.

Um, what gives?

I guess part of it’s that there’s a genuine case to be made that black chicks age better than white chicks. Sure, the majority of them aren’t worth a shit by the time they’re 20, but the ones that are tend to stay in pretty decent shape well into middle age. White chicks, on the other hand? Not so much. You might see older white chicks on the cover of magazines all the time, but how often do you actually see their asses?

And if you’re a young bum such as myself, getting with one of these older broads can be a come up. In the black community, in particular, there’s legions of older broads with decent jobs who couldn’t get laid if they were passed out drunk on a bed in Damon Dash’s hotel room. Take for example this story from the Root the other day, in which some 40 year-old black chick complains that she hasn’t had sex in 10 years.

I smell an opportunity.

That said, I’m still not sure if I’m sold on the idea of having sex with these old-ass women. Even when I get to be that age myself, provided I don’t drop dead of a heart attack before then, something tells me I’m still gonna prefer 20 year-old pussy to 40 year-old pussy. What can I say, I’m a misogynist like that. What do you fruits think? Is old pussy the wave of the future, or could these hip-hop magazines use some new models?

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