Time to play, “Who’s the Fudge?”

A couple of weeks ago, this writer from an important magazine in Canada (er, important to people in Canada) interviewed me for this story he was writing about that book, Hiding in Hip-Hop, in which some DL industry cat pulls a Superhead and describes his various trysts with well-known athletes and entertainers.

He was asking me shit like, what effect I thought this book might have on the level of supposed homophobia in hip-hop, and which rappers I thought might be named. I told him I figured at least one of them would be Pastor Ma$e. (My bad, Pastor Ma$e.)

During the course of the interview, he mentioned that the publisher was being extra tight with review copies of the book (as the late, great Sickamore would say, ayo!), because they didn’t want any of the secrets to get out. He said copies were only gonna go out on a certain date just prior to the book’s release, and I’m thinking that might actually be today.

I’m probably not gonna be getting one anyone, since one of the entertainment industry’s main strategies in order to neutralize a brother such as myself is to never send me anything, other than maybe the occasional CD by a white rap group like 7L & Esoteric (which is my shit, btw), lest I end up saying something negative about somebody.

It’s a good thing I’m as resourceful as I am; otherwise, I’d probably never get anything done.

Something tells me SOHH Gyant’s got a copy, so maybe I’ll try to holler at him and see what I can’t find out. Nullus! Only thing is, I know we used to be friends on Facebook back before I wrote that story about whether or not he’s on the DL, but now it looks like he’s gone and deleted me. So our relationship might not be as strong as it once was.

Speaking of which, I was over at SOHH just now, looking for story ideas I could rip off from people, and wouldn’t you know, they’ve actually gone and given this fruit his own blog there. (Note to management, don’t be trying any shit like that here.) It’s called “Confessions of a Down Low Brother,” and each day for the next two weeks, he’s gonna be updating it with tales of his adventures as a DL fruit in the entertainment industry.

For the sake of journalism, I held my nose and went ahead and read the first three entries, just to see if there were any rappers I could recognize. As the Canadian fellow mentioned in our interview, the book doesn’t actually mention any rappers by name, but they’re described well enough that you might be able to figure out who they are.

The first three entries have to do with this trip to a club, in which he meets this football play who he ends up doing the male on male nasty with. I thought it was kinda lame that he didn’t start right in outing these rappers, but he does mention that this guy he went with, who I’m assuming is teh ghey (come on), represents a certain rapper and a certain singer.

The fact that the author decided to single these two out, despite the fact that this guy supposedly represents quite a few other people, suggests to me that they might be teh ghey. Here’s how he describes them in the book, and then my guess as to who they might be.

Well, me and a good friend, “Clever” – he represents many industry people, especially a talented lyrical rapper who is featured on damn near every record currently out, and a balladeer who is the king of songs – Clever and I were chilling up in one of the hottest clubs in this city on a Friday night. It was packed from wall-to-wall. Men and women were grooving and gyrating to the beats filtering through the air.

My guess as to who this might be: Lil’ Wayne and Ne-Yo, obviously. Granted, I would never refer to Lil’ Wayne as a talented lyrical rapper, but I’m sure plenty of people who don’t know from good rap music would. And he is featured on quite a few records these days. And Ne-Yo… I mean, come on. That kid is as teh ghey as a three dollar bill. And he’s probably the top dude in R&B these days, other than Arruh – who’s a lot of things, but teh ghey is not one of them. The only real comparison would be that kid The-Dream, who’s like this year’s version of Ne-Yo. Has anyone heard anything about him being a fruit?

And then the bulk of the remainder of the first three entries has to do with him chasing around and subsequently bufuing this football player he met in the club that night. If you guys have been reading my shit for any amount of time now, you probably already know who I think this is, but I’ll hit you off with the description first.

I was at the bar getting my soda drink on and that’s when I spot him. He was across the room standing against the wall with a drink in his hand. He was bobbing his head to the Hip-Hop beats and surrounded by slew of bodacious women and physically fit men.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was absolutely gorgeous – Tall, caramel, chinky eyes, and a body that wouldn’t stop. Damn, he was fine! I felt the temperature in my body rise. Lust was speaking and its low growl was whispering in my ears.

My guess as to who this might be: You guessed it, none other than Kansas City Chief and male Roc-A-Wear model Elliott Wilson Larry Johnson, who shares an apartment in New York with Jay-Z despite the fact that the two of them could obviously afford places by themseves. How do I know it’s Larry Johnson? Well, to be honest with you, I don’t know jack shit about football, and he’s the only DL football player I know of, let alone one who’s been known to be around a lot of music industry people. But come on. Who else could it be? Don’t let me find out Jay-Z is involved in this shit as well.

And that’s about it as far as the celebrity outings are concerned so far. I’m assuming that’s not gonna be it though, since this blog is supposed to continue for another week and a half, and since I imagine we’re gonna be hearing a lot more about Hiding in Hip-Hop come next week, when it actually hits stores. So who knows, we might end up having to play a couple more rounds of this game before it’s all said and done with.

  • http://www.ab.com Mr. Alex

    Whoever wants to read an entire book filled with this garbage is a certified fruitcake.

  • Juzzy

    What a waste of time that was…..

  • The Spaniard

    “Facebook back before I wrote that story about whether or not he’s on the DL, but now it looks like he’s gone and deleted me.”

    That’s gay in and of itself.

    “And Ne-Yo… I mean, come on. That kid is as teh ghey as a three dollar bill.”

    Tevin Campbell redux.

  • render

    “I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was absolutely gorgeous – Tall, caramel, chinky eyes, and a body that wouldn’t stop. Damn, he was fine! I felt the temperature in my body rise. Lust was speaking and its low growl was whispering in my ears.”

    Bol, you have to be a flaming ‘mo to even read this shit…I’m sure it’s all in the interests of journalistic integrity righ?

    How many pics of a half nekkid larry johnson pics did you have to look up as ‘research’ anyway?

    NO HOMO to everything thats gwannin here

  • geico lizard

    if tevin campbell was white his name would be justin timberlake and he would be rich right now. this is crazy Bol but i guess anything is possible but since he just throws hints and doesnt name anyone he dodges lawsuits.

  • texasleen

    damn that was a waste

  • major

    um.. remind me not to read anything u post ever again..

    this shit was extremly gay. no richard simmons

  • whocares

    Can someone tell me why we should care? Why do you care so much, Bol? It’s unlikely that you’re gay, though you do write about the subject a lot. I’m more curious to how you would respond if any of those people actually just came out and said they were gay? What would you do if Lil Wayne came out? I’m guessing the exact same thing you did the day before, because it has zero effect on your life and pretty much the lives of everyone else in the world. So please explain to me your obsession.

  • yaboy

    this is not ill. but for “journalism sake” it says the guy is a basketball player…

  • CHICAGO PaPii

    Bol you and me both know that Lil Wanker(Wayne) is the most commercially queer musical artist since Elton John(No John Mayer!). As far as Ne-Yo I have heard stories of him being sweeter than a Tropical Flavor pack of Kool-Aid, but, I have seen MASSIVE photos of him banging your avant grade Back-Up Dancers,Groupies,Models,D-List R&B Chicks, so he could be more Bi-Sexual than just a plain Black Ryan Seacrest. Regardless I already know that Sean “Puffy Bunny” Combs is a Gay and GLAAD represnative in Hollywood and the music industry because all his parties have like massive amounts of “Suspect” activites occuring and he was a fool enough to let J.Ho leave(Sidenote: and this proves all the Gay guys bang all the bad bitches!). Joe Camel and Coc-A-Fella CEO is kinda atleast “Suspect” in true Torae’ fashion(the ambigiouly gay guy from BET) because he’s letting a grown man live with him who is like a millionaire or some shit. Besides the fact that Joe Camel let Big Pun beat the Hawaiian Sophie shirt off his ass and let 2Pac treat him like he is a School Nerd in the 1990s, he is very Terry McMillian with his Swag,though, a very wealthy Sell-Out so he can afford for a Brazilian Tranny to give him a Blowski in his Presidental Maybach while Beyonce is getting her hair permed.

  • http://gooddoctorzeus.blogspot.com DocZeusX

    Not to be defending somebody whose thrown me under a bus twice in his articles but…

    You people need to stop fronting that reading about gay issues makes one gay. Laaaaaaame.

    • render

      Aint nothing wrong with reading about gay issues. Gay ‘issues’ would be some shit bout same sex marriage or scented soaps

      Spending half your time wonderin what rappers are fuckin men and reading shit like:

      “Damn, he was fine! I felt the temperature in my body rise. Lust was speaking and its low growl was whispering in my ears.””

      on the other hand is just flat out madonna ass homo

      • og bobby j

        Co sign! LMAO at the scented soap shit…

        what about commenting about how not gay it is to read a blog written about gay rappers…thats gayer then aids.

    • Pierzy

      Co-sign…

  • Lil Wank

    XXL is full of gay hotline comericals. Nothing wrong with that, but they’re there cause XXL readers call them…

  • lax

    And the Fudge is………..BOL

  • jonathan

    like I said i gotta pay for everybody elses bullshit! its beyond real! for real for real!

  • http://nonthreateningblackmale.blogspot.com/ LOL

    You care too much about who’s gay & who isn’t.

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    @ ease young punk……how do you know not know anything about football? As fat as u look I thought u atleast played Juvy or some shit.And real talk only “fudge lovers”(n/h) know about their own soaps & smells and shit so yes hoe-g you might qualify.There cur, fuck a sneak diss cuz i’ll call you out(n/h)nigga even tho we speak on hiphop dont mean we make hiphop money for me to be duckin yo lame ass.

    • og bobby j

      Everytime….same shit. You post some fake gangbanger jumble about being at ease….you use words that you made up back when you were trying to cope with your fathers 3rd trial and mothers crack addiction….you continually prove your level of flunkie far exceeds what we originally thought. Rock your flag, throw your sets up, and make sure your understand that I requested the platinum package….you know ceaser is waiting to jump you to get back on sponges….car wash working ass nigga.

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone`

    “Something tells me SOHH Gyant’s got a copy, so maybe I’ll try to holler at him and see what I can’t find out. Nullus! Only thing is, I know we used to be friends on Facebook back before I wrote that story about whether or not he’s on the DL, but now it looks like he’s gone and deleted me. So our relationship might not be as strong as it once was.”

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    So many pauses and no homos on this shit where does one begin.

  • BIGNAT

    it’s jason taylor from miami i have solved the case

  • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack

    NO HOMO.

    Elliott Wilson

    ZINGGGGGGGG

  • Wynter

    Um, maybe before you sit down and ‘write’ an article you should consider stepping up your research game first. It’s a BASKETBALL player, not a football player.

  • dirt

    Why do some of you fags get so sensitive when someone does a little ghay bashing ? that’s suspect if anything. I think theres a lot of down low brothers up in this bitch.

  • POLO DIZ

    MAN….SOMEONE TELL ME WHY BOL SO INFACUATED WITH FINDING OUT WHAT NIGGAS IS GAY? THIS NIGGA ACTUALLY GETTIN INTERVIED AND POSTIN BLOGS ABOUT DAT SHIT LIKE HE ON VH1 DISCUSSING ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES OR SOMETHING…..I THOUGHT THIS IS A HIP-HOP MAGAZINE…WTF IS THE GAY TOPICS COMING FORM?

  • MIAMI_PLAYBOY

    Jason Taylor is not a homo.

    but that guy Brian Mckinnie from the Vikings is definitely a sweet pickle.

  • Ryan

    Have you heard the new 7L/ES album? I haven’t yet. Shit like that is what needs to be heard, not Lil’ Wayne………

  • stoneyisland

    POLO DIZ says: WTF IS THE GAY TOPICS COMING FORM?
    *********************************************

    Straight outta Bol’s bedroom:) everybody knows Bol is on the DL, word on the streets is he use to date Rupaul……………NULLUS

  • ATL = All Trannies Live

    Bol Its not Larry Johnson. Dude was talking about a basketball player.

  • kevin

    bol,

    keep up the good work, keep exposing these dirty dick , do-do chasing niggas.

    RIP PIMP C…..

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    make sure your understand that I requested the platinum package….you know ceaser is waiting to jump you to get back on sponges….car wash working ass nigga.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^@ Ease
    Whoa ,Whoa i’m lost homie NY niggas dont own cars cuz,u ride the fucking E train hoppin turnstiles and shit.and how the fuck u getting car washes and yo shorty still aint got medical ins? Broke niggas still playin “thats my car”.wolftickets.

  • Dwayne

    Bol, I’ve got a question? I know LJ supposedly assulted that chick in the club awhile back. What ever came of that? Was it a stunt to cover-up him being on the DL as you say?