Suge Knight got knocked right the fuck out!

If you like to check out live music, St. Louis is one of the shittier big cities you can live in. A lot of big tours will go to Kansas City and Chicago and won’t even bother coming here.

This week has been an exception though. Wednesday night, I saw Radiohead here, and then last night, I saw Wilco. Which is just insane. If this was 2001, I’d feel pretty confident in saying they’re the two best bands in the world. And it’s not like there’s been a whole lot good that’s happened since 2001.

Radiohead Wednesday night was in one of these shitty outdoor amphitheaters. You can read all about my experience there in the review I wrote yesterday for my own site.

Beer there was expensive as shit, so I came up with this plan where I was gonna drink three huge draft beers at once, so I could get good and fucked up without doing too much damage to my checking account, which is about as close to zero as it’s been since I started here at XXL. (How about that for progress!)

So I did that, and I went to my seat out on the lawn, which was probably not the best move at that juncture. As soon as I got there, I realized there was way more Bud Light inside of me than my bladder was gonna be able to contain. So I had to get right back up and wade through this huge sea of cargo pants-clad cracka-ass crackas to get to the pisser.

On my way back, I tripped and accidentally kicked over this drink on these people. It was one of these big-ass frozen margaritas in a fruity souvenir cup. Beer there was $9, so I don’t even want to know how much that shit cost. But you could tell it was the kind of shit where they were counting on guys showing up with a broad (obviously I didn’t), and the broad being like, “Ooh, margaritas!” and the guy would have to come out of his pocket upwards of $20 for some shit that probably doesn’t even have very much alcohol in it.

The worst would be if you bought a chick some shit like that, and she had the sheer balls to not have sex with you afterwards. Which is why I’m actually kinda glad I was there with a group of mostly dudes. If a chick tried to pull some shit like that with me, her ass would be on YouTube right about now, telling stories out of school about what went down after the concert. Just like this girl.

But I digress.

Not only did I kick the drink over, but I actually kinda got it all over this girl. So my first thought was, “Damn, this cracka-ass is about to jump up and have to get his feelings hurt in front of all of these people. I’m not trying to go to jail tonight over some bullshit.” But he didn’t. I was basically just like, “Aww shit, man. My bad.” And he was like, “No, it’s cool man.” And I just went about my business.

Sweet!

Of course my desperately fragile ego would like to think that this was because I’m roughly the size of Suge Knight, and with a similar haircut even (though obviously I’m not hitting the gym too often these days), but who knows. One thing I do know is that, if this had been a black event, it would’ve been a way different story. As expensive as those motherfucking drinks were? People have been shot for way less.

Which is one of the reasons why we can’t have shit. All week long, mofos have been getting on me to discuss Suge Knight getting laid the fuck out as if he was Latarian Milton’s grandma at a Wal-Mart (is that you, Mos Def?). If I was on top of my game, I probably would’ve done a post on it earlier in the week, but it can be difficult for me to bring myself to get out of bed before noon these days, and the new guy ended up beating me to it.

And anyway, I felt like this is one of those situations where the picture pretty much told the entire story: Suge Knight got caught slipping and got knocked right the fuck out. Obviously he was already halfway gone on drink and drugs, or got caught off guard or something. Which is not to say that this guy who knocked him out isn’t kind of a bad-ass, but come on. This is Suge Knight we’re talking about. I’m sure he could still beat the crap out of pretty much anyone.

Or maybe I just didn’t get it. It could be the case that this utter fascination with someone getting beat up is yet another one of these traits that you pick up in one of these god-awful inner city high schools, where the really smart kids might read on an eighth grade level and 3/4ths of the kids there drop out, and which I obviously would’ve missed out on. It’s not so much that don’t see the utter hilarity in watching someone catch a bad one, but I wonder what it really proves at the end of the day.

What do you gladiators think? Is not having to worry about mofos trying to beat you up one of the myriad benefits of being surrounded by mostly white people, or is this yet another one of the many examples of my failure to understand black culture? Also, if it was your girlfriend I kicked a drink on, what would you have done? Speak on it.

  • The Don

    You know what sucks and I hate to say it. if you were at a black party you would have got you a$$ drug just because the chick wouldnt have let it go and the dude would have had to stand up for her. Period

  • Deebo

    Was is Latarian Milton who laid Suge out?

    First.

    • Yayza

      If it was Latarian, Suge would not have survived.

  • JE

    First!

  • og bobby j

    If you knocked a drink all over my bitch…I may make you thro me a lil doe…but if shit was accidential, i would treat it as such. You had the respect to say “my bad” thus making it unintentional and justifiable.

    I dont think its a race thing…but ingorant people tend to have their pride hurt to easy….plus that purp makes most cats not wanna fight.

    • http://www.going.com/larrybrite lancelot

      2nd that

  • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack

    “Also, if it was your girlfriend I kicked a drink on, what would you have done?”

    U would discover a new level of spazzing the fuck out.

    “If you like to check out live music, St. Louis is one of the shittier big cities you can live in. A lot of big tours will go to Kansas City and Chicago and won’t even bother coming here.”

    So Nelly and Chingy are not big to you. LOL.

    • Mackull

      “So Nelly and Chingy are not big to you.”

      Honestly, no.

      • Pierzy

        Nelly & Chingy? Ugh.

      • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack

        Damn. lol.

  • Deez Nutz

    Its more than him getting knocked out. We wanted you to hear your opinion on the fact that Suge is one of the most feared figures EVER in hip hop…from the Vanilla Ice incident to the Dr. Dre/Easy E situation…and this nukka gets ktfo…the whole Death Row empire was built on the fear of him plus Dre’s musical genius. This incident was the final brick collapsing on the first $100 million empire in hip hop…you could of looked back out their history, discography, their impact on music and music business, East/West beef, the Source Awards incident, etc, etc…but I guess I’m expecting too much from a “hip hop website”…you keep digressing while we hip hop fans go to a website that actually has insight on hip hop (I don’t even think one exist)

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      I never really liked any of that Death Row shit other than the Chronic. And even that was kinda spotty.

      Sorry.

      • Deez Nutz

        WTF? The Chronic was spotty? Are you kidding me? And even if you don’t, you have to recognize the importance of the Death Row empire in hip hop history…(still smdh at the chronic was spotty…you gonna lose your credibility f*cking around with me…no homo)

      • Deez Nutz

        The more I think about what you said, its absurd…Snoops first album was on Death Row…CLASSIC…All Eyez on Me…Pac’s double cd was on Death Row…CLASSIC…Makaveli was on Death Row…CLASSIC…WTF? Please revisit these albums and do a hindsight is 20/20 post…i will give you the benefit of the doubt for now…And if you wont to look at it from a non musical point, they were the first hip-hop empire worth over $100 million empire…They set the tone for hip hop entrepreneurs from Master P, to Diddy, to 50 Cent, Jay-Z, etc, etc. business wise…i think they were the first to even own there own masters…please do your homework

  • Andria

    i am sorry bol but u are rite… fighting is a black thing… i hate to say it cuz i am black myself but it’s true… prime example… i went to belleville east high school in belleviile, illinois & my friends went to east side & lincoln (when there was a lincoln) in e. st. louis, illinois….

    well they would tell me stories ON THE DAILY about chicks fighting over dudes & getting hit in the face with padlocks….

    i would have never made it in a primarily black school…

    i hate to say it, but it is what it is.

  • BIGNAT

    nice post bol but tell the truth you said you was “kinda glad I was there with a group of mostly dudes” bol why you lying to us you don’t have any friends mwhahahahah

  • The Spaniard

    “Also, if it was your girlfriend I kicked a drink on, what would you have done?”

    I would have laughed at my dame for buying that silly ass overpriced drink in the first place (because I certainly would not have been the sucker buying it) and wished you a safe and prosperous life.

    “Or maybe I just didn’t get it. It could be the case that this utter fascination with someone getting beat up is yet another one of these traits that you pick up in one of these god-awful inner city high schools”

    Don’t worry my man, it’s not just you…I transfered to one of those inner city schools you describe…the fascination with fights was un-fucking-real. My first year there was like Lean On Me…without the end of year turn around that is.

    • JP

      hahahahha

  • yaboy

    i dont feel like speaking on shit bol. i read your article, chuckled mildly… its friday and i have some ice cold beers to consume in a couple hours… id rather waste the rest of my day surfing the web…

  • yaboy

    here’s to me getting my joint copped by some random broad tonight

    *raises glass*

  • A FUCKIN GENIUS

    THe DRINK… YOU Might have had to pay for, especially if You fucked my plan to get her drunk and take her home… YEA… you would’ve had to at least buy Me a brew… but “my bad” was a good start

    But this SUge shit… THe Nigha just looked sleep… Snoring & shit

    The nigha that cracked him looks like an everyday nigha… Suge is getting older too, cant take punch like he used too.

  • http://bigoneonline.wordpress.com b-one

    “I never really liked any of that Death Row shit other than the Chronic. And even that was kinda spotty.”

    I didn’t really care for the Chronic, but I’m a little surprised that you can’t get into Doggystyle. I think Doggystyle is just about the only Death Row release you can’t front on as far as classic status goes (the others had their moments, but were pretty iffy).

    What weren’t you feeling about it?

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Doggystyle is roughly on a par with the Chronic. I just never listened to it as much.

  • Giantstepp

    Bol, my Nigga, you loosing it Homie. This was a half ass attempt to shut me up about exposing your fear of Suge. Ive been calling you out all week to post on Suge and this is it? Half the shit was about some other shit. I guess “it is what it is”. Damn! Imma let it go
    cuz, but I expected much more from the Great Bol.

    *shakes head in disapointment and logs off the internets*

    • BUKKA BUKKA

      ^^^^^Needs a hug

  • lookadeez

    you got beat to the punch didnt you Bol?

  • Lefty2Gunz

    No disrespect to anyone but I don’t understand why all of you are so surprised that Bol doesn’t like “The Chronic”/”Doggystyle” or any other Rap album most may considder a classic.
    Time and time again he’s confessed his love for Raidohead and others alike as well as no name rappers/rap groups (as it pertains to hip hop) who might just be nice but not the most mainstream. I’ve never known him (read a lot post hardly ever) to agree on such things. It is what it is but it’s ridiculous when everybody gets all up in arms because he said “The Chronic” was spotty.
    NEWS FLASH!!! Everybody doesn’t like the same things!! It doesn’t take away from anyones credibility that might think “The Chronic” is trash. It just means… DRUM ROLL PLEASE…………………..THEY DON’T LIKE “The Chronic”!! (however ridiculous that may be, smh @ bol)
    On topic w/ the post F#CK SUGE!!! Bout time somebody laid his ass out!! Pole or fist I could care less the end result was the same!!LOL!!!
    Second… that ish about the drink was funny as hell cause them shits DO be costing a grip at those shows! And yes if that had been an all black event it would’ve been some drama hands down. Let’s just keep it ALL THE WAY REAL when i say this but…
    NI99AS DON’T KNOW HOW TO ACT POINT BLANK PERIOD!!!
    One

    Just a suggestion but please do a blog on WHY NI99AS DON’T KNOW HOW TO ACT!!

  • Tyler

    BoL, now ‘dats 3 in a Row Big Homie. 3 in a Row.

  • LOL

    bol do u have an fresh off the boat azn girlfriend yet?

  • Rizzop

    fighting is a black thing…..NO, THATS white folks, we just trying to defend ourselves. Either way, the chronic was that shit, Death Row was basically a rapper’s brothel. Suge was making all the money (Da pimp) with various artists gettin fucked (he owned ALL them niggas publishing!!) Karma caught up to that nigga and as momma said “NObody is above an ass whippin”

    And fuck radiohead

  • JP

    come on now, All Eyez on Me, The Don Killuminati..you can’t tell me those weren’t crazy albums..
    The west coast as a whole we running things then..til pac died
    but anyways…good post

  • RisingSon

    Yeah you’d prolly get your ass beat at a black party…prolly cos the dudes there have spent to much time listenin to a rapper documenting what he would do in that exact situation…which is depressing on too many different levels. If Radiohead had been uninspired enough to write a song about something like that..or more likely somebody steppin’ on their organically grown tofu it might’ve been a different story.

  • Franchise

    How’d you like wilco? All the shows I been to of theirs have been fire.

  • http://www.pimpinpens.blogspot.com EnzoE

    Bol says:

    I never really liked any of that Death Row shit other than the Chronic. And even that was kind of spotty.

    Thats pretty fucked up that you feel that way. I feel sorry for you.

  • Danny Geezay

    My man…great blog as always. Can I ask you all a question though? Why is it cool to refer to white people as cracka ass crackas. If I were to refer to black people as negro ass niggers then hell would break loose. I would never do that cause I believe everyone should be treated with respect, if they earn it, Why is it ok for you to write this in a public forum? Can anyone give me an explanation outside of the double standard bullshit I normally hear? Thanks sincerely, white guy.