Contact Us

Searching For Eli Porter

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Somebody needs to find Eli Porter! The dude’s been an internet phenomenon for weeks and has yet to come out and claim his free personal pan pizza. I mean I would literally buy the man a personal pan pizza. Stuffed crust, even. He deserves every penny of that Tay Zonday Dr. Pepper yetti guap. If Curtis and his people can get the inbred yokel who alterated Suge Knight with an egg or a jar on the phone you would think a more resourceful journalist than myself could get in touch with a young star inna incubation chamber ala Eli. Yo, Porter holler at your boy! Your mans! Your main dodo stain! I probably can’t promise you an interview with The Famous Rap Magazine XXL for reasons yet to be disclosed but we can certainly do it for a less sophisticated website. Maybe we could arrange for an ill collabo with that sass talking fat kid who crashed his grandmas whip?

What do you guys think of Eli Porter? Isn’t he on the internet? Do you watch videos on youtube? Have you ever noticed how sometimes things look like other things? Who wants ice cream? Speak on it.

[Posse On Sardines and Spam T-Minus 5]

Recommended For You

Around the Web

Best of XXL

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for XXL Mag quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!