Is there anyone in hip-hop who doesn’t have a price?

From what I understand, the New York Times, which I seek to emulate in my writing, has this policy where you need three distinct instances of any given phenomenon in order to declare it an according to Hoyle trend.

Well, I was sitting here just now, trying to come up with a third example of prominent black people in hip-hop willing to do anything for a dollar, and I was having a hard time coming up with one. It could be that hip-hop these days isn’t quite as fucked up as I need it to be, or it could be because I’m just having a hard time bringing myself to write anything this week, which I am.

Of course I’m gonna suggest that it’s the latter. Blame it on the weather. This has been the first consistent stretch of good weather we’ve had here in the STL since forever. I’ve been sitting here in my gym shorts (which have never been to an actual gym, natch) all winter long. I need to be outside somewhere pretending not to stare at women in low-cut blouses. Fuck hip-hop.

I came up with my first two really good examples yesterday.

First, I was reading what I can honestly say is the only story I can ever say I actually enjoyed reading at AllHipHop – unless you count that interview where CL Smooth was going off on Pete Rock, which I don’t think they really deserve credit for. It was by this guy, who I’m pretty sure is white (of course I’m gonna turn that into an issue), who was going off on the Brain Trust aka the Mail Room over at MTV News for coming up with that bullshit list of the top 10 hottest MCs in the game (nullus), calling them all kinds of sellouts and shit.

One of my favorite quotes from it is the following:

These are the puppets who smile as Wayne and T-Pain monopolize airwaves, and who benefit when record labels fill MTV coffers with payola. They’re the swine who push deplorable materialistic tomfoolery on near-captive audiences and then claim that they’re quelling popular demand; not since that painting of dogs playing poker have so many bitches gathered around one table.

Yikes!

Of course I couldn’t help but be amused by it on several different levels. On the one hand, there’s all the name-calling, which I think really is underrated as a literary technique. But I think it also played into a certain self-righteous streak that I possess, which I’m sure just comes from being a broke-ass hater who lives in his mom’s basement. The idea being, if I’m gonna be down here keeping it real, of course I’m gonna find it amusing when those clowns get viciously attacked for doing the opposite. That’s what they get.

I’m sure it was a feeling roughly akin to how KRS-One must have felt on 9/11, knowing he had once gotten kicked out of the World Trade Center for trying to sleep in the subway station there.

Mmm, justice!

Which is not to suggest that I was actually given a choice to get paid a decent living wage and pretend as if I give a shit about Rick Ross, and I chose otherwise. We don’t know for a fact that I wouldn’t take a decent amount of money to do almost anything. (There’s only one way to find out, nullus!) I’m just saying. Sometimes haterdom has its privileges.

And then, literally the next thing I stumbled upon yesterday was the news that Nas has been forced by the TIs at Universal to change the title of his forthcoming album from the dreaded n-word to just Nas. Or is it just gonna be untitled, like the fourth Led Zeppelin album? I’ve heard conflicting reports. At any rate, I hadn’t felt this disheartened by a bit of news since I heard that Pimp C died from the combined effects of prescription cough syrup and his sleep apnea.

Or was it autoerotic asphyxiation?

In fact, I found this news even more disturbing than that dumbass MTV list, in the sense that at least those poor bastards in the mail room over at MTV probably needed the money. Nas, on the other hand, has to be well-off to the point where I can’t even fathom why even run the risk of damaging his personal brand – built up over the course of a career that could be viewed as a series of similarly silly provocations – by letting the TIs jerk him like this.

Or maybe that’s just me not being very business-minded, as usual? What do you mail room staffers think? Is there ever a point where self-respect and having a soul is more important than living well? Also, if MTV offered you a well-paying job, but the catch was that you had to go on TV and talk about T.I. as if he was actually worth a shit, would you take it? Speak on it.

  • lol

    i like the last tag

  • The Spaniard

    “name calling…which I think really is underrated as a literary technique.”

    I don’t know if you are joking or not, but this is keen insight. Name calling, when accurate and relevant, is highly effective in getting your point across…or, at the very least, entertaining as hell.

  • wootie

    “not since that painting of dogs playing poker have so many bitches gathered around one table.”

    lulz

  • Young C

    Immortal technique doesn’t have a price.

    • MOE

      OH YES HE DOES HE JUST HASN’T BEEN OFFERED THE RIGHT AMOUNT YET. DONT LET THAT REVOLUTIONARY SHIT FOOL YOU.

  • Giantstepp

    “I need to be outside somewhere pretending not to stare at women in low-cut blouses.”

    You a fool for that one Bol LMAO!

  • OG BOBBY J

    its all about the dollar…..there are some things that I wouldnt do for it tho….
    1) gay shit
    2) sell out my fam

    other then that….Im d. fuck how ya feel

  • http://www.incilin.blogspot.com Incilin

    No lie, if I had that MTV offer I’d have to consider it. It’s pretty hard to get a job that pays you to talk about hip hop for a living.

  • jonathan

    you already know nigga! you already know! you understand! now you understand! when your own brothers father not only covers up for people molesting your children and stealing your inheritance he participates and steals and molest himself! dont ever ever ever let these niggas confuse you! im the realest nigga in the world right now! i take on the world! you understand! the most evil people in the world! i take them on myself! all these niggas know just like you know who been doing what what is going on and you see what is good! even fucking chuck d! chuck d! its beyond real my nigga! thats how you know nigga! a nigga will throw your kid to a pack of rapist heheinas and torture you afterwords for a fucking buck! these niggas is house koons! like i been saying! i wont rest until i get everyone involved! these niggas is covering up the most racist satanic bullshit known to man! and still gonna rap on some old nonsense like they real black niggas! these raps need to go im a koon he a koon we some koons wouldnt like to be a slave 2! you understand that needs to be the song from here on out for all these niggas! and now you fucking know! for real for real! and bol! all of it is on tape! but yet the smear campaign is still on to destroy me! they are covering up for politicians not only have these people did what they did to my family they are stealing my own personal wealth! and giving it out like candy to whoever and whatever! koons for real for real! you cant label it no onther way anymore! but im glad you notice! you understand! thats why i fight! i dont care no more! they try talk bad about the police that shit is a joke to me! i love the police they the only ones trying to help! you feel me! fuck all these rap koons! now you know nigga! and knowing is half the battle! my advise you are a good talent get a job reviewing real music! cause these niggas is actors looking for a plate! thats it!

    • master cheef

      it’s like you just took the words right out of my mouth. co-sign completely.

  • http://2ndshow.wordpress.com TOOPair

    TI is one of the few southern artists out there is lyrically sound, bruh. where the eff have you been??

    Bun B, Jeezy (sometimes), B.O.B., every now and then Plies.

    dispute aside, you can’t tell me that T.I. and Bun B ain’t the only ones lyrically gettin it out here?? Wayne?? maybe, but not consistantly.

    and the last one that i think even worth mentioning IS ROSS, but he really got better beats about him.

    damn. . .you gotta tell a good story, so you won’t BE in your mom’s basement.

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    @ Ease……. …. That Pimp C comment is going to get you in trouble the whole “choking while cumming thing”(n/h)and Bobby if you’ll do anything for dough but no health insurance for the youngin,no gay shit for money cuz you rather take it up the coat free of charge? 21 gun salute!!!

    • og bobby j

      your father should have blew you up your mothers coat…then these comments would be free of @ ease homo thugs. PLus, your wifey likes getting choked out…
      are you just mad cause she is spending your hard earned car wash money on fake coach bags? one finger salute (or three for wifey)

      • Around and Around

        OG Bobby says,
        its all about the dollar…..there are some things that I wouldnt do for it tho….
        1) gay shit
        ———
        So you won’t take money for that, but you give out head shots for free?

        I saw OG (No homo) on the corner with a flashdance T-shirt tied up above his belly button…fucked up man what’s your seed think?

        • og bobby j

          Just like Kane’s girl….you cant keep your mouth shut. When are you gonna stop havin these day dreams about me?
          Did the idea of me giving head shot for free keep you up last night fag….

          Take your thumb out of your asshole and stick it in your nostril….quiff.

  • BIGNAT

    I THINK NAS CHANGED THE TITLE BECAUSE HE WANTED HIS CD TO COME OUT. I AM PERSONALLY GOING CHANGE THE TITLE TO THE ALBUM TO NIGGER WHEN IT’S IN MY PC.
    HELL YEAH PAY ME GOOD MONEY TO TALK HIGHLY ABOUT T.I. HE HAS MADE A CLASSIC ALBUM WHICH IS TRAP MUZIK AND NONE OF HIS ALBUMS ARE REALLY WEAK.
    IT’S HARD TO TELL A PERSON TO SPEAK GOOD ON SOMEONE YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEART IS TRASH. IF WHAT YOU MAKE DEPENDS ON HOW YOU TALK ABOUT SOMEONE THATS HARD. TALK YOUR MIND OR READ THE CARDS THEY ARE SHOVING IN YOUR FACE. AT THE END OF THE DAY THAT MIGHT BE THE DIFFERENCE IN LEAVING WORK IN A JAG OR RIDING THAT STRETCH 6 TRAIN HOME.

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    @ Ease you cur……..Stop sellin wolftickets cuz you dont even own a car,nigga you own train tokens or a passcard.I’m really shocked how your imaginary car has insurance and yo shorty doesnt,or is that even your kid? Only whiteboi’s trick off dough on bitches member that.6star general bitch deal wit it,like your fathers denial in passing Herpes from mother to child

    • og bobby j

      Candy Kane….
      Listen….to be real with you…your just not smart enough to argue with. Also, I dont need any 6 star generals coming for me….how long did it take to gain such a prestegious ranking in your gang world (i bet your 13…or at least at a 13 yr old reading level)? I hope wifey didnt have to get fucked in like them broads on the history channel (where you fucked in too?) It must be hard to communicate in your project cell…with the only words spoken muffled by the bandana around your mouth and deciphering each others hand signs….ask wifey about the bowling ball grip…she squeals Your lame attempts at insults are pretty weak…herpes, come on…you can do better then that….remember your flash cards?

      You better hurry and log off your gangsta ass cpu before a rival see you not @ ease. And yes…whiteboys (boi’s?) trick off doe on bitches….and catch slow neck from the broad layin next to homothugs like you at night. Do us all a favor…..fuck a nice dark skinned broad and catch aids.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin

    lmaooooo…….

  • master cheef

    lmao @ one finger salute or three for wifey. good shit.

  • dat koon nigga

    I IZ SAYZ FUCKZ DEM JEWZ TI’Z

  • Bangkokkid

    Yo Bol!!

    Its called COMPARTMENTALIZATON.

    Think you of mind like a file cabinet. Humans have the uncanny ability to file away certain feelings as if they never existed, and display others like it was the real shit.

    This explains how some managers can lay off 500 workers and still sleep at night, or go on tv and actually have the balls to put TI on a list with Kanye.

  • Pierzy

    Nas is smarter than that…let’s hope he makes an album that is more important than the title (like Led Zeppelin did with IV)

  • H-Lo

    I’d find it cool if NaS went with untitled (if it’s selftitled though, they wouldn’t put two times NaS on the cover or the side etc, so it’s more or less the same).
    It could still make a very powerful title, cause all the fans know that has the ‘Nigger’ content – so it has from the beginning a mythological, infamous aura on it.
    Of course it all comes down to the quality of the music, but I’m quite confident: On every of his ’00s album he got wiser (in contrary to his ’90 opuses where he got dumber).

  • trillvillain

    if you dont have a price youre probably retarded

  • Worley

    “fuck a nice dark skinned broad and catch aids”

    Fall back homie.

  • Cinsere

    I can’t believe you didn’t go at the biggest bitch at the table…Sway! This is the dude that used to have cats like Ras Kass and Chino XL freestyling on his radio show, and now has to, with as straight-a-face as possible, actually have a discussion as to whether or not Soulja Boy (SOULJA BOY!) should be on the list of top 10 hottest MC’s (MC’S!!!) in the game! Un-be-fucking-lievable!

  • EReal

    I wanted to kill each and every one of those fucks. I couldnt even watch, I had to turn that shit because I was screaming at the T.V.
    But I’d sell out. HA!

    LOL @ 3 Finga Salute ta Ya Wifey!

    Tha Shocker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.rizzleworld.blogspot.com allnice

    Bol you sound kind of frustrated homey. People playing like puppets for money is the way the world has always been. It is what it is and it will probably never change…well not in my life time anyway.

    Nas did play himself on the name change. Just for that I’m not interested in hearing the rest of the album. He should have more creative control than that especially since he’s been in the game for a minute.

  • http://xxlmag.com kane corleone

    hoe-g said “Did the idea of me giving head shot for free keep you up last night fag….”

    cuz you gay!