Get off R. Kelly’s nuts

No one likes the idea of grown mofos going around raping children. (Well, I don’t.) But I think it’s important to consider, in these statutory rape cases, what actual harm was done, if any.

Take for example these cases where you keep seeing these smoking hot 26 year-old school teachers having sex with 13 year-old boys – sometimes right there in the classroom. As the uber cliche punchline goes, where the fuck were these women when I was 13 years old?

Not to suggest that there’s a lot of grown-ass women walking around these days who are roughly the intellectual equivalent of a 13 year-old boy, because it’s not nice to generalize like that, but let’s just say I’m never really surprised when this happens.

If anything, I’m upset that – as few grown women as there are these days who are worth a shit and aren’t already married – these goddamn middle school kids have gotta go and take some of the ones with the best bodies and the weakest minds, i.e. the two traits I look for most in a woman.

But, as was the case yesterday with Kanye West enjoying his newfound bachelorhood, I can’t be too upset at a young player doing his thing. This just means I’m gonna have to step my game up that much more, and/or find a job that pays real money.

The alternative would be to get all on my moral high horse, as if these women have done anything to these kids other than pay them one hell of a favor. I mean, I could see if these kids were five years old. That would just be wrong. But once a man reaches the age where he’s got a little bit of fuzz on his joint (nullus), he can only hope for some shit like that to happen.

Similarly, I wonder if the R. Kelly trial, which finally actually began recently, shouldn’t be dismissed, on the grounds that the girl in the infamous R. Kelly sex tape (remember when that shit was all over the place?) was obviously only “young” in the chronological sense of the term.

Clearly (not that I’ve seen the tape several times or anything), she’d had her share of experience long before Arruh had even got to her. So it’s not like he showed up to her school in a carpet delivery van talking about how her mom told him to give her a ride how.

For all we know, she might have sought him out.

What’s more, the girl in question doesn’t even give a shit. The prosecution wanted to call her in as a witness, but she wouldn’t even cooperate with them. And word on the street is that she might actually aid the defense – though I’m at a loss for what she might say on the stand that would be of aid.

In most cases like this, if it’s been such a long time, and the alleged victim doesn’t even give a shit, the trial would’ve been over. If Johnny Cochran was still alive today, he would’ve had this shit over and done with last Friday and been down in Arizona trying to get DMX off the hook by now.

But supposedly, the prosecution is counting on some broad who claims she had a three-way with R. Kelly and this broad. She claims there’s a tape of this that she has, and that Arruh once sent one of his goons to try to get it back. If there actually is such a tape, and it’s played in court (is jury selection still going on? I’m just saying), that could definitely be an issue.

Which makes me wonder why this woman is trying to throw R. Kelly under a bus, especially if she’s just as guilty (so to speak) as he is. If it’s wrong to have sex with a girl who isn’t quite 18 (chronologically), does it make it any more right if you go and tell on someone else who did after the fact? Obviously not! If, god forbid, R. Kelly should go to jail for this shit, her ass ought to go to jail, too.

They can put her in a cell with Remy Ma, since we already know how she gets down.

My guess: this is some skeeze that Arruh used to deal with, and now she’s upset that he doesn’t want her anymore, because she got too old for him. So now she’s gonna do even further damage to today’s youth – in wasting time and money that could have been spent going after actual child predators – by trying to throw R. Kelly under a bus.

If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that, if you’re gonna have a three-way with a broad who isn’t quite 18 (chronologically), it’s important to make sure that the other person involved is not gonna snitch on you. And since having the other person involved be a guy would just be gay, you’re probably best off having the other person be another girl who isn’t quite 18. Chronologically.

What do you dreaded n-words think? Does R, Kelly deserve to go to jail for what he did. And does anyone have any strategies for underage three-ways that they’d like to share with us? Also, would anyone like some ice cream? Speak on it.

  • giantstepp

    Yep, its official. Bol fruity ass is scared shitless of Suge. Classic pictures of him getting knocked on his ass and not a word from the great Bol? WTF! Its been days now, speak on Suge homie.

  • http://www.yahoo.com Dra$t-iQ Alkoholik

    yo 1st bitches it’s a shame that when I was 13 all ma teachers was fugly as fuck but the R kelly shit should be thrown out just like in the Boondocks I’ve watched that shit and don’t give a fuck what you say but the bitch in it is fineand I was wondering if I could get her number so I could piss on her too.yo if they let Micheal Jacson go free for fucking lil boys in the ass then there is no way in hell kells won’t be a free man and realeasing the next 456 chapters of “Trapped in the Closet”.peace bitches!

  • http://www.sportaphile.com Chuck

    This was the funniest Bol post I’ve read in 2008…. good shit.

  • http://gooddoctorzeus.blogspot.com DocZeusX

    Wait, this other chick is over the age 18 and is getting off scot free for statutory rape whle R. Kelly gets put on trial?

    What type of fucked up shit is that?

    I just thought R. Kelly pissed on some girl and filmed it?

  • iLL

    Fuckin hilarious!!! Arruh…dying..lol

  • Worley

    He did it in the name of love.

  • giantstepp

    Oh, and I was FIRST snitches!

  • Kufi Smacker

    Right, it’s time to speak up my people. If R. Kelly was on some Gary Glitter shit, then I could understand the whole fiasco (no Lupe). However you and I both know that them girls R was messing with were thick for their age albeit not the age of consent.

    Age of consent
    U.K = 16 (No wonder rappers be touring here like fuck!)
    France = 15 (Hey if she thinks she can handle it and her parents say it’s cool)
    Spain = 13 (taken over by muslims back in the day for a real long time. Nasty)
    Iran = 9 (see above)

    Personally I think that 16 is a good age to start bumping uglies although most people don’t really start fucking till around 18 anyway.

  • The Spaniard

    “Does R, Kelly deserve to go to jail for what he did.”

    No. Unless he black-bagged these dames, (he didn’t) R-Kelly should skate free and clear.

    What should happen though, is the girls parents should probably not be allowed to breed anymore. I’m sure this is all due to their lack of parenting skill.

    “…My guess: this is some skeeze that Arruh used to deal with, and now she’s upset that he doesn’t want her anymore, because she got too old for him.”

    Probably.

    “…And does anyone have any strategies for underage three-ways that they’d like to share with us?”

    Yeah, don’t do it. It’s not worth the risk. Get two adults females and call it a day.

  • Deez Nutz

    Suge Knight, Suge Knight, Suge Knight! Speak on it Manute. The people wanna hear it…this R.Kelly shyt is played out. Suge Knight is one of the monumental figures in hip hop history. His whole persona was built on fear and the nukka gets knocked out like Deebo and you wanna talk about Chester the Molester…Are you one of Suges illegitimate children? Bald head, check. Big mouth, check. Love of turkey meat aka whyte woman, check. There you have it folks…”Manute” Bol Knight…*somewhat avid fan bows head in shame for Manute and his reluctance to speak on his pops”

  • ri067953

    Miley Cyrus is lucky R. Kelly didn’t have a chance to get at her. No, R. Kelly shouldn’t go to jail, these broads knew exactly what they were doing and I am sure that R. didn’t have to talk them into it very much.

  • WOW

    the roots hater hahaha
    yo this dude has no life, he look funny as he//
    man get him out of here first comment i ever left on any website but this dude gotta go
    BOL THESE NUTS

  • HOLLYWOOD_P

    I HOPE THERE WAS A EITHER A NULLUS FORTH COMING OR SOME BEN JERRY’S COUPONS BEING MAILED OUT TO COVER THAT ICE CREAM COMMENT BOL….

  • Crispy Bacon….bitches.

    what the fuck is wrong with you all?
    He is guilty as fuck. He fucked a 16 year old…pissed on her…..and had the nerve to tape the shit. Throw his pedophilic ass under the bus. Fuck him.

    This nigga was the King of R&B, which meant he could seduce any “woman” he wanted to, but instead he goes for the juniors and seniors at the PROM. That’s nasty.

    If you did the crime, do the time, don’t whine. I don’t feel sorry for him, don’t think he should be free, let his ass go to jail.

    Everytime I hear one of his songs (i.e. “Ignition”, “Feelin on yo Booty”, the “remix to Ignition”) I can’t help but think he wrote these after his “teenage love affairs”

    Just marry Vivica Fox, and keep it in her box.

    • The Spaniard

      “what the fuck is wrong with you all?”

      Nothing.

      “He is guilty as fuck.”

      Guilty of a flawed law…so what?

      “He fucked a 16 year old…pissed on her…..and had the nerve to tape the shit.”

      He didn’t kidnap her so fuck it.

      “Throw his pedophilic ass under the bus.”

      Pedophilia is attration to pre-pubesent children not 16 year old girls.

      “Fuck him.”

      I agree, fuck him.

      “This nigga was the King of R&B”

      I thought that was Bobby Brown!

      “which meant he could seduce any “woman” he wanted to”

      He did.

      “but instead he goes for the juniors and seniors at the PROM. That’s nasty. ”

      I got a boat load of pussy on my senior prom…nothing nasty about it.

      “If you did the crime, do the time, don’t whine. I don’t feel sorry for him,”

      Ironically neither do I.

      “don’t think he should be free, let his ass go to jail.”

      He should go to jail for his shitty music, not for banging 15 or 16 year olds.

      “Everytime I hear one of his songs (i.e. “Ignition”, “Feelin on yo Booty”, the “remix to Ignition”) I can’t help but think he wrote these after his “teenage love affairs””

      I wouldn’t doubt it.

      “Just marry Vivica Fox, and keep it in her box.”

      Vivica Fox? That hag looks like one of the extras from “Escape From L.A.”. If that is his first option I say keep banging the prom queen. It’s not 1995 anymore my man. Someone can stick a fork in that broad…she’s done.

  • JONATHAN

    MAN IM READY FOR ALL THAT DUMB SHIT! STRAIGHT UP AND DOWN! FOR REAL FOR REAL! I AINT NEVER HAVE NO FUCKING THREE WAYS BUT ONE TIME AND I WAS UNDER 18 AND SO WAS SHE AND I AINT TAPE IT! THE GOVERNMENT DID! AINT NOBODY RAPE NOBODY DO NOTHING WITHOUT PERMISION OR NONE FO THAT SHIT! SO SHE CAN GET READY! IF MOFUCKAS IS SPEAKING ABOUT ME! THANK GOD THEY GOT MY WHOLE LIFE ON TAPE YA DIG! SO ALL THAT DUMB SHIT IT SOUNDS GOOD TO COUNTER STEALLING TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS BUT IN THE END ITS JUST GONNA BACK FIRE FOR REAL FOR REAL! YOU UNDERSTAND! THATS ALL! GOODLUCK AND TAKE CARE! AND THAT HAPPENED BACK IN 94 OR SOME DUMB SHIT! SOME GIRL I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HER NAME! POINT IS I WASNT EIGHTEEN AND SHE WAS OLD THAN ME IM SURE OF THAT! BUT YOU KNOW HOW WOMAN ARE THESE DAYS JUST FUCKING STUPID! WILL TRY IT ALL TO WIN!

    • Leinad

      I might live to be 100 and never again read anything as stupid as what you wrote. Reading this made everyone on the internet dumber than they were when they woke up this morning. I hate you.

    • The Kanadian( The Real Bruce Banner)

      Is it just me or is this Jonathan Bat-$#!t crazy or am I loosing it. Buddy yer nutz, go back on the meds For real for real.
      Your whole life on tape? WTF. Kid your noodle is cockadoodle for real for real!
      textbook definition of ADD or FAS(fetal alcohol syndrome) Sorry about your Luck Jonathan!
      Peace!

  • major

    man i been sayin dat shit 4 the longest. yall saw how dat bitch was takin the dick in the video. LIKE A FUCKIN PRO! Its not like he snuck in her bed while she was sleep or sumthin. She came there 2 get down and thats what happened. Go after the mofo’s who abuct kids and rape them. She was not raped.

  • CHICAGO PaPii

    R. Kelly is the Modern Day Jerry Lee Lewis!! This Negroe gets inducted in the Hall Of Fame for a single Season record of Pissing on 14-yeard Olds from Long Distances while Barbata Streisand’s “Yentl” plays in the background. Somebody Google the name Jerry Lee Lewis if you don’t know who he is(speaking of “Googling”, wouldn’t it be like so fucking great if Kellz made a new Sex Tape with that Lesbo chick Teyanna Taylor who sings “Google Me Baby”?), just my Thoughts…Bol..what do u think??

  • deezhul

    So it’s not like he showed up to her school in a carpet delivery van talking about how her mom told him to give her a ride how.funniest shit evar.u did it again bol.u did it again

  • d

    So it’s not like he showed up to her school in a carpet delivery van talking about how her mom told him to give her a ride.lmfao.funniest shit evar.u did again bol.u did it again

  • Tyler

    BoL. . aka The Beast Blogger
    U done it again BoL. . . now let’s see if U can get a streak of nothing but hot ones going.

  • TheCo!!inB

    for some reason this post reminded me of this joke
    what’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a Whopper?

    a Whopper is a tasty char-grilled sandwhich where as Michael Jackson likes to fuck little boys.

    tip your waiter, god bless, good night

  • http://XXL JACOB DA RULER

    YO, THIS SOME FUNNY AS SHIT!!!

  • laShawn

    if thers an ULTIMATE lesson to be learned here,

    when you fuking an underage broad, make sure there aint no cameras around!! i really dont care wat hapens to r.kellz, i think he should be locked up for messin wit an underage girl, the other biatch should get locked up too and somtin gotta happen to this underage hoe..

  • avenger xl

    I am going to say this slow for the thinking impaired: cough clears throat

    FUCK R KELLY LET HIM TAKE HIS BAD MUSIC MAKING YOUNG GIRL LUSTING DUMB NIGGA ASS TO JAIL.

    There are real political prisioners all around the world that need our support Rkelly is just another in a long line of dumb niggas with money.

    They shouldn’t never gave this nigga money word to rick James

  • Mee

    Regardless if she “took it like a pro”, underage is underage. If a minor (child) throws it @ you, you’re the adult, sex with kids is wrong! He married Aaliyah @ 15!! He’s a grown ass man seeking out kids, man!! Whoever condones this behaviour obviously has pediphelia-type tendencies, maybe you’ve seen a 12 yr old on a Middle School Dance team that you were kinda checkin for so you don’t see hte problem. You Chesters who are lobbying for Kells have or probably will eventually get your chance to meet good ol’ Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC ;-) Gotta love that guy!Hey, get his autograph for me, will ya!!

    Idiots, get your minds right!!

  • Whiteman

    I seen the tape that chick is obviously a slut she takes and sucks dick like a pro. She the one who takes the piss and it just as into it as Kells. If anything I would blame her parents for letting her fuck with a dude like kells that nigga married a 15 year old didn’t that raise any flags. If a 14 year old can be charged as an adult in a murder case then a slutty 14 year old can get sum grown dick it’s not like this is the first teen kells has dipped his shit in and wont b the last. Unlike most girls in her situation she has the courage to admit she wanted it and didn’t simply play some victim card a la the chick Kobe gave it to. Women teach your daughters you are either a slut or an angel you cant have it both ways once you put yourself on the market don’t b surprised if u find a few buyers.

  • geico lizard

    the woman is as wrong as r kelly but the country works in a funny way because women are supposed to be as strong as men and deserve equal pay as men but when women go to court they are suddenly always the victim and thats why they had to murder their husband or their kids because suddenly they are innocent victims of something a man did to them. anyway you cut it attractive women get off easy in courts in america. alot of the guys who sleep with their teachers end up in jail or end up beating their wives because they never develop a mature look at relationships because that horny teacher warped his mind. i feel bad for the husbands of the teachers because what can you do if your wife leaves you for a 13 year old dick? you are more experienced and more well endowed but she wants that kid over you so i dont know what you can do besides go through an embarrasing divorce and maybe write a book like that debra lafaves ex husband did.

  • The Spaniard

    @Whiteman

    Excellent summary. Kudos on the proper tone & language as well.

  • Maddolies

    If Michael Jackson can get away with Fucking lil 8 year old boys then R. Kelly should not be charged with anything.