Comparing notes with my colleagues always proves interesting.
By most accounts, the job is fun, the hours fly by, but some of these rappers do the most annoying things. I compiled a quick list based on conversations I’ve had with my feller journalists.
10. Auto-Tunin’: I admit, Kanye West and Snoop Dogg’s Vocoder performances were damn good. BUT, with Birdman and Gorilla Zoe now getting in on the act, the craze has gone too far.
9. Strip: I’m sure some of you ladies don’t mind seeing LL Cool J take it off, but the late great Pimp C said it best. “You ain’t cut up. You ain’t 50 Cent, bitch!” Rick Ross, please advise.
8. Ask Rhetorical Questions: Nah’m saying? Nah’ mean? Actually, I don’t. Not all rappers say it, just most of them. Nowadays, it’s more like… you know, you dig, feel me? Nope!
7. Soundscan Roundouts: Dudes must think I don’t get Soundscan reports every week. Every time I interview Mike Jones, he claims, “I sold 2 mill in 06.” Worldwide perhaps, but Jones isn’t likely to specify that now is he? The same goes for 50 Cent. Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ sold 8 million domestically and 12 million worldwide, but he’ll say he sold 12 without being specific. Meanwhile, he’ll compare G-Unit’s worldwide numbers to The Game’s domestic sales.
6. Keep It Moving: Everybody from unsigned artists to Billboard chart-toppers boasts about spearheading or being part of a movement. Not so much!
5. CP Time: Whether it’s phoners or in-person interviews, rappers (weed carrier included), are almost never on time. Though I’m sure some of my colleagues can tell you different, Bun B and Kanye are just about the only two rappers I ever interviewed on time. Everybody else was waaaaaay late.
4. Name Droppin’: The smaller the rappers, the more names drop. Yung Berg will name drop Jadakiss. Jadakiss will name drop the Game. Game will name drop everybody, including Diddy. And Diddy will name drop white people.
3. Random Drops: Some of these dudes be turning phoners into radio promos. “Trilla in stores right now!” It goes question, answer, drop. “It’s the album of the year. You are not ready. Holler at your boy!” Question, answer, drop. “Trilla in stores! My album is fire! It’s kush mixed with a drop-top minivan and two triplets.” It almost never fails.
2. Dumbness: Rappers just loooooove to add “ness” at the end of every freakin’ word. “Like, my skillsfuness and my charismaness is what’s gonna separate me from the rest.” Right!
1. Blame The Media: Whooouuuuuiiiinnn! They misquoted me. Whoouiiiinnnnnnn! Granted, there are some Jayson Blair ass journalists out there. But 95% of the ones I know record all their interviews and won’t maliciously misquote you. You probably just said some “dumbness” and realized it “laterness.”