Watch out for these white chicks

With the turn of the new year, I figured this trend of women sucking people’s dicks and then writing books about it might finally be over.

That book Nas’ baby’s mother put out failed to make her the next Superhead, even though I’m assuming it went into graphic detail about that time Jay-Z banged her on the backseat of Nas’ Bentley and left the rubber on the baby’s car seat. (I might still need to pick that book up.) And even the second book by the real Superhead I don’t think did as well as the first one.

Clearly, I was mistaken. Just yesterday, I read that Mos Def’s ex-wife, a woman named Alana Wyatt, has got a tell-all coming out about her relationship with the rapper.

You’ll recall that this skeez was from Canada, and had been known to be run through by rappers up there, as well as probably any number of dudes who kinda resemble rappers up there. As I recall, she’d already had a baby by Kardinal Offishall by the time Mos Def had gotten with her.

But her main claim to fame at that point was that she was a video ho in Snoop Dogg’s clip for Drop It Like It’s Hot.” And I’m gonna lie, she was fucking smokin’ in that video. I know some dudes at the time claimed to have seen her elsewhere and said she wasn’t all that, but I don’t know. A lot of the broads I like people wouldn’t say looked good anywhere. You know how people live to front on white chicks over the Internets.

Speaking of which, at the time, I wondered if there’d be somewhat of a backlash against Mos, since he was – after all – the dude who did “Brown Skin Lady.” You know how black chicks are about black dudes interracial dating. Or as I like to call it, “upgrading.” How in the fuck is a guy who began his career pandering to black chicks gonna take up with some white town bicycle from Canada?

At the same time, though, it figured it might not be as bad as you’d think. One of our proudest black rappers succumbing to the wiles of some white video ho was a blow to the ego to be sure, but the pandering has got to count for something, right? It’s kind of like how Kanye West has become known as the rapper who feels black women’s pain, even though I’d say his contempt for black women far outstrips my own.

I mean, I don’t even have any contempt for black women. I even find that old stereotype that fat black women have the best personalities to be true – at least to the extent that you can say a woman has a good personality. It’s just that I do possess an aesthetic preference for certain aspects of white women. Chalk it up to a childhood spent around some of the best of the best. (And some of the worst, to be sure.)

Kanye West, on the other hand, clearly fucking hates black women. I know I’ve gone over this before, so I’m not gonna sit here and tick off a list of reasons why I know this is true. But a few examples would include that time he accidentally left his suitcase full of black man on white woman interracial pr0n; the time he called mixed-race black women mutts and said there’d be no rap videos without them; and that video where he makes out with Pam Anderson in front of a group of angry black women.

That shit wasn’t meant to be ironic or anything. I’ve had dreams just like that, so I should know.

In that sense, it was hardly any surprise to me when I read the other day that Kanye was breaking it off with his fiance of a couple of years now, Alexis Phifer. The guy probably thought about all of the smokin’ hot white pussy he’d be missing on this tour, let alone the rest of his life, and was like, “Fuck that shit! I’m about to go get me some of this road head.”

And the reason I know he dropped his fiance for some caucasian stank is because he already had pretty much the best-looking black chick I’ve seen before in my life – and you guys know I don’t like to give Kanye credit for a whole lot. It’s not like with Russell Simmons, where he found a broad when she was young, and she got progressively more Asian-looking and muscular as she got old. If Kanye West was gonna marry any black chick at all, he could only step down from where he was at.

But I digress.

I wasn’t even aware that Mos Def and this Alana Wyatt had called it quits, though I know it had been rumored that their marriage was never really official, because Mos has got a few other wives stashed off in the cut somewhere – with umpteen children among them, supposedly.

Since the shit I guess didn’t work out, I’m sure Mos is wishing he’d never bothered in the first place. As fine as this broad was (to me, at least), I’m sure there were plenty of other broads who were just as attractive – or at least comparable – that Mos could’ve dropped a load on. He probably could’ve satisfied a black man’s innate desire to upgrade without putting his career on the line like that.

And now this slore’s got her own Superhead book coming out. I wonder what she’s gonna have to say about him. My guess, given his behavior the past couple of years (making Bono dis records, getting arrested outside the VMAs, Tru3 Magic), is that he’s gonna come off as crazy as catshit. And lord knows that’s the last thing his career needs at this point.

  • jonathan

    its true man! black woman are the best in the world! dont get me wrong! and they have the best sex in the world! dont ever get that confused but its like they know that shit and there attitudes are totally fucked because of it! the best black woman in the world are fat or not that attractive and they are the coolest in the world! but get a pretty one that knows she is hot and knows how to have sex! forget about it! thats why i dont even put up with it anymore! i dont even want a latin chick thats all into rap shit no more! cause they basically turn the same! for real for real! thats why I really wanna fuck with a white girl just to see if it would be different the way they act! look at what im going through now cause of black chicks! and i love them! for real! but the attitude its like the slave attitude with niggers its like they cant help but try to destroy a man if they can anyway they know how and take a man for all he has got just for the sake of it! but what you say is extreemly true! for real for real

    • Neven

      that goes for white women to man……. the bigger they are the harder they have to work for it and if they know they have it you have to buy it for real………. fat women are funnier cause they don’t give a shit when is the last time you heard any fat chick ask does my ass look big in these jeans NO she says I better by a bigger size if I’m goin’ to eat cheeseburgers………. attractive hot women know they have something and if they don’t get paid professionally then they want a man to do it for them… hot women are so self conscious they always ask stupid do I look good questions does this match……………… Trust me Man you want a plump women not to fat so she can go on top and not to skinny so when your on top she doesn’t break in half

      NICE post BOL…. us Canadians have mad hot white chicks I’m on the west coast right now but where I’M from the East crazy hot white women and there is no prostitution back east they give it away for free

    • CHAMP MONEY

      NULLUS NIIIIIIIIIGGGA!!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin aka The King Of The Choco-Chicks

    oh shit, lmaoooo!!

    “How in the fuck is a guy who began his career pandering to black chicks gonna take up with some white town bicycle from Canada?”

    this quote^^^^ almost got me fired

  • deezhul

    bol strikes again!!! i agree,white bitches r the shit.live in minnesota n these hoes love black dudes.shits easy

  • Worley

    Black women are the joint. When you find one that ain’t on that “buy me this buy me that” you good. A lot of these n*ggas probably ain’t got no game.

  • http://www.akirathedon.com AK

    Jonathan! Dude! Chill with the exclamation marks! And the sugar!

    Wow, “slore”. That’s a new one on me…

  • Combat Jack

    Great usage of the word “slore”!

  • The Spaniard

    You cats have it all wrong.

    Pussy is the shit…period. If the chick is suitable, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if she was from Eurasia, Timbuktu, or Never-Never land.

    European, African, Asian, Australian, Canadian, American, Antartican…it doesn’t matter.

    Get your minds right gentlemen.

    • NAWLEDGE

      CO-FUCKIN-SIGN!! It dosent matter what race the woman is!! Pussy dosent have a face!!

      But I do love my sisters tho. I just love the afrocentric features. Slim waist, with a nice round ass. I aint with that slim wast with no ass bullshit. I need a hump!!

    • malik raheem

      Yo, much respect to you on that. A fit bird is a firt bird. She’s could be a fucking alien for all I care, as long as she looks good, smells good and is smart. That’s all that matters.

      and for this fool

      og bobby j says:

      “…Black chicks with white features are sexy as hell too”

      That’s the gayiest thing I’ve heard all day, your’e what we call a maggot !!!

      Alot of you yanks don’t realize that naturally gorgeous women aren’t from your endz. They’re from places like Brazil, Argentina, all of dem carribean countries (Puerto Rico, Jamaica, Barbados, Cuba), Poland, Czech Republic, India, Japan, Spain and Italy. You need to get out of your eight block radius mentality !!!

  • dameSTAtus

    I hate to say it, and lawd forgive this come up on a future job interview with say, Black Enterprise or something, but Jonathan is true.

    The worst part is when they BECOME fat as you are with them, but still retain that knack to tear a man down that they picked up whilst skinny.

  • akaTheRealist

    co-sign w/ The Spaniard.
    btw, you should write a post with the same name about this-http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0408/513637.html
    @ my fuckin’ school. And when they say female, they mean crazy white bitch. Cause the girl who wrote is a white bitch, and to write such a thing makes her crazy. We can call her britney spears for now.

  • og bobby j

    i dont discriminate, but spanish chicks are the shit. Its that tan, the complexion and all that. Black chicks with white features are sexy as hell too….like non-nappy hair and light eyes….you know what im talking about.

    Slore is a good word…as is smut.

  • torontogirl

    Alana Wyatt’s not white.

  • http://suckapunk.blogspot.com Suckapunkin’

    The black/asian mix is my favorite, personally. But anyway, how does any of this show Kanye hates black women? Isn’t as sexually attracted to them as he is to white women, maybe. But when did relative lack of sexual attraction turn into hate?

    And women writing books about sucking dick isn’t a trend, it’s the lifeblood of the publishing industry. It’s been around forever and will be around forever

  • yow

    Bol, sometimes you reminds me of uncle ruckus from the boondocks

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  • BIGNAT

    “Fuck that shit! I’m about to go get me some of this road head.” hahahahhaa can’t stop laughing

  • Tyler

    “You know how black chicks are about black dudes interracial dating. Or as I like to call it, “upgrading.” And 4 ‘dat my Friend, BoL, U are now my nigga, if U don’t get no bigger. . .than a blimp.

  • P-Matik

    Man, you are wild for this one! But man you know good and well that chick Alana ain’t white. Her Myspace says she’s black. She looks mixed to me.

    Real talk though, back in the “Brown Skin Lady” days (1997 to be exact) I was in NYC for Rocksteady Anniversary and I saw Mos with one of his kids on his back. Half asian kid, I recall.

    Mos is my dude though, I don’t care what flava gotch he’s smashing.

  • Silly Willy

    As weird as it sounds, arab chicks is the shit. Don’t sleep on these lebanese pussies gentlemen !!!

  • stoneyisland

    Bol says: You know how black chicks are about black dudes interracial dating. Or as I like to call it, “upgrading.

    UPGRADING:) classis shit Bol, classic:)

  • geico lizard

    fat black women dont have the personalities they use to have anymore BOL because monique and oprah has their heads gassed up like they are sexy now. fat black women had personality because they were humble and loyal but now they are out there cheating on guys and trying to dog men out. im in the south and you have women here who look like monique or oprah but they think they have bodies like serena williams or beyonce. i like the post BOL i never messed with a white girl so i cant relate to everything you said but white girls do show me more attention than black women do. i have to approach the black women but white women usually approach me first or flirt first but im trying to stay loyal to the sisters but i dont know for how long because i cant put up with the lying and cheating shit.

  • giantstepp

    “…because Monique and Oprah has their heads gassed up like they are sexy now”…classic

    Im for fat pride and all, but Monique has over done it.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin aka Lord Of The Thingz

    yeah Monique took that shit to levels beyond human comprehension, i understand most fat chicks i’ve came across had pretty faces, but thats where show ends! i guess probably because i’m only about 150-160lbs makes me fat-chick incompatible.

    well maybe a few drinks nullifies that shit after 12am on some Ghetto-Gremlin shit i personally deal with internally, but ya’ll get the point!

  • edwo

    YO BOL

    First of all Alana Wyatt IS NOT WHITE!!!!!
    Second of all she has a kid with a local toronto rapper by the name of Saukretes NOT KARDINAL OFFISHALL.

    This shit was riddled with mistakes

  • Rudebwoy!

    whoever said black chicks are the best in bed, have oviously not fucked any dominicans, puerto ricans, or any other spanish bitch! and black chicks from the states aint nowhere as good as jamaicans or any other west indian chick. i have had a lil bit of all and the caribbean gots the A-1, %star, top of the line, PRIME PUSSY!!!

  • Rudebwoy!

    whoever said black chicks are the best in bed, have oviously not fucked any dominicans, puerto ricans, or any other spanish bitch! and black chicks from the states aint nowhere as good as jamaicans or any other west indian chick. i have had a lil bit of all and the caribbean gots the A-1, 5star, top of the line, PRIME PUSSY!!!

    • krystal

      Rudebwoy!……..yes you got that right….caribbean gots the A-1, 5star, top of the line, PRIME PUSSY!!!……but don’t forget a drop of tuberculosis, a smidge of hepatitis, and a couple herpe bumps….hope you wrapped it up homie…..

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin aka The Lord Of The Thingz

    agrees with rudebwoy! only because it seems as if he done snagged some of my leftovers by the way he articulated his last post….

  • Ignorance is not always bliss

    Fat women can be mean and slim women can be nice. The problem is not with how a woman looks , it has to do with how men and even how women are choosing there mates. Stopping choosing some one based on how they look…i.e. how phat they ass is or how much money they have. Search for the right thing in mind and the right thing you will fine. If you tend to end up with lying cheating people over and again…that says something about what your doing wrong….black people check yourselves. BOL your ignorance is worst of all….the propaganda you spread is crazy….check your facts…

    • NAWLEDGE

      Thank you for being one of the only other intelligent bloggers on this site. I cosign with everything you just said. It’s not the looks, its the backround and personality. Hell, hoodrats have flat stomachs, slim waists, and fat asses, but they have NOTHING to offer mentally. Not mature at all and most of them dont even go to school. And if they do, their “majoring” in something rediculous. A female once told me that she’s majoring in “Fabotology”. WHAT?! I understand Beuticianship but Fabotology?! I’ve been sayin it on this site for past couple of months. WE BLACK PEOPLE NEED TO CHECK OURSELVES.

  • http://poisonousparagraphs.blogspot.com/ Dart_Adams

    Good lord, Crawford! Why hasn’t BET called you to star in a reality show yet?

    SMH

    One.

  • boi-dan

    “She not White… She Cubaaan” – Mannie Fresh