You guys will have to forgive me for having been gone three days in a row now. Four days, actually, if you count the fact that can’t actually read my post from this past Friday, about Miss Info, and Max B’s dueling publicists. (That is, unless you check the link to it in Google’s cache over at Unkut.)
As far as that whole mess is concerned… well, what can I say? I’m still not sure exactly what happened. Obviously someone got upset, and some phone calls were made, and somewhere along the lines a delete button was pressed, but that’s really about all I know. (If you’re that interested, you might want to check the post on the incident on my own site, from yesterday.)
I would pursue it further myself, but the truth of the matter is that I could give a rat’s ass. I’ve had posts of mine up and disappear before, and my m.o. is usually to keep it moving. Like, usually I don’t even sweat these things after I’ve done writing them anyway. I’ve written thousands and thousands of them over the years, many of which I’m sure I’d hardly even recognize.
The thing is, I think doing this for as long as I have has left me a little bit mental. When I sat down to come up with something Monday afternoon, after having worked a morning shift at the BGM, I couldn’t come up with anything other than just plain venom. Every topic I would come up with would just devolve into some violent fantasy involving… well, I’m not even gonna go there.
You guys probably would have found it amusing (some people said Friday’s post was some of my best work evar), but it really wasn’t what I wanted to write at that time. And I usually pride myself on being able to turn out pretty consistent work despite having hardly any support from this site’s management – or even knowing who this site’s management is, for that matter.
So you could say I was going through a bit of an existential crisis.
I think part of the problem was that this incident coincided with a time in which I figured I might cut down on my alcohol consumption, on the outside chance that I might find something else better to do. Or, at the very least, I figured I might save a few bucks, what the state the economy is in these days.
Also, I’ve been working essentially full-time at the BGM lately, and I figured cutting down on the pain go bye-bye juice might help me be a bit more functional there. You know how it is when you work all day, and then you drink a little bit too much, and you wake up all sore and shit – even more so than you would be if you didn’t drink.
Fortunately, I’m pretty sure I was over it as soon as yesterday, i.e. Wednesday. Not having published anything here two days in a row was beginning to bother me as much as my various lifestyle issues. I didn’t want anyone to think I was one of these guys who disappears for weeks at a time, because they don’t have anything to say, and then shows up trying to cop some sort of a plea.
And I would have come up with something yesterday, except, alas, I had to bust a shift at the BGM. So I ended up being gone three (or four) days in a row. The messed up part is that I didn’t even really enjoy my time off. I should have called in sick to the BGM and skipped town for a few days or something. Or at least spent some time over on the Eastside.
Anyhoo, my plan, from now on, is to try to get myself back focused on my writing, particularly with regard to the level of gulliness I project. No more of this trying to cut down on drinking, or not publishing something because someone might find it offensive. If management wants to delete the shit, they can just delete it like they always do.
Also, I’ve been meaning to find some more work that I can do, on the Internets or elsewhere, so that I could finally ditch the BGM once and for all. Let me know if you know of anything or have any ideas. I’m open to all sorts of suggestions. After all, I’ve worked here for the past two years.
Finally, and I really do mean this, my bad to Miss Info and Publicist #1. I mean, I still stand behind pretty much everything I said about publicists and bullshit gossip journalism, but I realize the sex shit was a little bit creepy. Lord knows I wouldn’t want any girls talking about whether or not they’d have sex with me over the Internets.
Wait, I would?