The blipster rises in real time

I probably wouldn’t even have bothered with this N*E*R*D concert Sunday night, if I would’ve known it would get in the way of my precious TV viewing, not to mention my physiological need to get 10 hours of sleep a day, plus another 8 hours at night.

I had copped my tickets a week or so earlier, under the impression that I’d be able to watch the series finale of The Wire, which was also taking place Sunday night, a week early on demand, like I always do. But of course HBO had to pull that shit where they announced at the last minute that the finale wouldn’t be on demand until the Monday after it aired, i.e. yesterday.

I was also significantly drunk, and tired, and suffering from -itis by the time I got there. I’ll spare you the grim details other than to note that I didn’t make to bed Saturday night, and I spent Sunday afternoon at this place called Granite City, which is like a knock-off Cheesecake Factory that’s also a microbrewery. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. It’s part of a chain.

Suffice it to say that it was a manlier weekend than many men will ever experience.

So I already wasn’t in the best mood for a melody by the time I got there. I was missing the final episode of the best show on TV by default, and I’d done enough damage to my body just that weekend – let alone the first 27 years of my life – that it would’ve been completely justified in just saying fuck it, and finally giving up on me completely, right there in the Pageant.

Also, I could generally give a rat’s ass about N*E*R*D. They’ve had a few hits which I’ve enjoyed over the years, but I think it’s obvious by now the world would be better served if Pharrell and the Asian fellow would just stick to making beats for the Clipse, or whoever. Even the rap stuff that they’ve done that’s really good is not necessarily my kind of thing.

I figured the Neptunes might play some of their hits for other artists, which was part of how I justified even copping tickets in the first place. But standing there before the show, it occurred to me that I wasn’t even sure how they’d go about such a thing, and that they’d probably mostly just be working from those two or three N*E*R*D albums.

And they did. They took to the stage to something that may have been new (I hadn’t heard it before), and people seemed to enjoy it, more so than “Everyone Nose,” the single from their forthcoming album, which they did later on in the evening and which really doesn’t strike me as being that much of a song.

That song and the next few songs in a row all had a sort of Fred Durst rap-rock element. Which seems like an awful idea, and it’s definitely not the sort of thing I would generally listen to of my own volition, in the proper setting for listening to music (i.e. in my mom’s basement with the lights out), but they seemed to work pretty well in a live setting.

In general, the songs that seemed to work the best were the ones that were decidedly aggro, and the requisite songs for the bitches, which the girls really seemed to enjoy. Pharrell pulled the ol’ Ghostface maneuver of pulling some girls from the crowd to dance on stage with him, but they were especially rough-looking. (St. Louis was definitely in the building.) There were also a few guys sprinkled in the mix. Hmm…

The worst songs, and the worst parts of otherwise decent enough songs, were the ones where the other guy in N*E*R*D who’s neither Pharrell nor the Asian fellow raps. What a no-talent. It’s weird, the guy’s like a weed carrier, but he plays a bigger role in many of their songs than you’d think. It’s probably just that he’s so uncharismatic that you wouldn’t actually know it was him to hear him on the radio. You’d have to actually see him in person.

The Asian fellow, meanwhile, played the background, on some contraption that looked like a keyboard hooked up to a laptop computer. But he could’ve just been checking his email the entire time, or playing whatever game it is Asians like to play on their computers. For the longest time, I had this conspiracy that it wasn’t even him, just some Asian guy Pharrell had standing in for him. But then Pharrell mentioned him by name later on in the show, when he was introducing the band.

The band, which consisted of two drummers, a bassist, a guitarist, and maybe some other people, consisted entirely of black guys, oddly enough. They didn’t strike me as being especially virtuosic, but it’s not like you have to be that talented to play rap-rock, and R&B music with the production values of your average rap song. Also, I’m not convinced that half the shit I heard didn’t come from the Asian fellow’s laptop. Maybe that’s what he was up to.

As you might have guessed, the set kinda peaked with “Lap Dance,” the big hit from their first album, and then the big finale was “She Wants to Move,” probably their biggest hit to date. In between the two of those, they brought out motherfucking Common, who did some sort of pro-Obama chant, then launched into versions of “The Light” and “The People” backed by N*E*R*D. I would have preferred a DJ, but what are you gonna do?

Then, after Common went off, Pharrell mentioned some shit about Nelly, which people took to mean that he might be about to bring Nelly out. Of course, as KRS-One might have predicted, the crowd erupted into a chorus of boos. But then Pharrell jumped to Nelly’s defense, talking about how the Neptunes had one of their biggest hits with him, and how he reps STL to the fullest, and how he had sponsored some community service event just the night before.

I was actually kinda surprised by the anti-Nelly sentiment at such an event, but I guess it goes to show what I know about the various divisions in the St. Louis hip-hop community. I was also surprised to see so many black kids dressed up like skaters and… well, teh ghey people, and what have you. It’s was an entire community of people I guess I was aware existed, because I had read about them in the paper, but this was my first time actually witnessing this phenomenon up close and personal.

People often consider me white, because my English is all fucked up (which is to say, not fucked up at all), and because I’m unabashed in my appreciation of the white female form, such as it is, but I was never white on the level that these kids are white. Mine was more of a socioeconomic issue, or a lack thereof. This was, like, an entire generation of kids that has as its reference points shit like N*E*R*D and Kanye West, rather that the Wu-Tang Clan and the Notorious B.I.G.

Of course I couldn’t help but feel bad for today’s youth, but I wondered if it was just that I’m getting old. It’s not, right?

  • PURPLE HULK

    1ST

  • Hollywood_P

    Bol if you werent aware that the super secret gay but not really gay society existed you must not have been the West County Mall or the Galleria lately my dude…shits disgusting

  • http://www.myspace.com/starliciousdee dee

    your not getting old, just stuck in your ways.

    Kanye and N.E.R.D won’t have the same affect on you as Biggie and WU. the music is totally different.

    Plus, kanye and ‘em rap about the stuff youngin’s like and can relate too, they can’t relate to Biggie.

    BTW: first time reader and commenter. prolly won’t comment again, but will definetly catch up on previous stuff.

  • grand central

    did you wear a Nullus T-Shirt to this ghey concert?

    • Tek

      Now that shit is funny..

  • b-ease

    It’s both. You’re getting old (27, Jesus Christ), and the kids are gay. I was just thinking on Sunday, if you’re 15 right now (my hiphop peak), you were FUCKING 4 when Biggie died. With that said, it’s not their fault for liking shitty music and gay clothes, since thats what hiphop has predominantly been for the past 4 years.

  • Youngz

    Ey I dont wanna diss St Louis but come on, nelly is what made your city famous, what else have u offered, Chingy , LMAO…
    Booing him like that, ya´ll some corny mofos..

    I agree with Bol, Te Lo has some rouh looking women, lol!

    NERD, why do they even bother? they should stick to producing brandy n toni braxton, or if the get back to form, jigga n clipse…

    Hiphop live is pretty much always a disappointment I have to say, the sound is often garbage (except when wu tang performs)

  • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack

    “In between the two of those, they brought out motherfucking Common, who did some sort of pro-Obama chant, then launched into versions of “The Light” and “The People” backed by N*E*R*D. I would have preferred a DJ, but what are you gonna do?”

    SMH. U CAN’T B SERIOUS.

    “This was, like, an entire generation of kids that has as its reference points shit like N*E*R*D and Kanye West, rather that the Wu-Tang Clan and the Notorious B.I.G.

    Of course I couldn’t help but feel bad for today’s youth, but I wondered if it was just that I’m getting old. It’s not, right?”

    LOL SO BIG IS GOING TO COME BACK FROM THE DEAD? STFU BOL. AND U KNOW THW WU AINT NO MORE.

    TODAY’S YOUTH? SMMFH. SIR, U SEEN TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE SOULJA BOY BULLSHIT AND KANYE. BOL, U LOST AGAIN.

  • skeme25

    The paragraph below has got to be some of the funniest sh@t ever…lmao

    The Asian fellow, meanwhile, played the background, on some contraption that looked like a keyboard hooked up to a laptop computer. But he could’ve just been checking his email the entire time, or playing whatever game it is Asians like to play on their computers. For the longest time, I had this conspiracy that it wasn’t even him, just some Asian guy Pharrell had standing in for him. But then Pharrell mentioned him by name later on in the show, when he was introducing the band.

  • stoneyisland

    Bol says: The Asian fellow, meanwhile, played the background, on some contraption that looked like a keyboard hooked up to a laptop computer. But he could’ve just been checking his email the entire time, or playing whatever game it is Asians like to play on their computers.

    Bol you are one funny cocksucker:) I swear to God you can be mad funny one minute and a complete fucking fat fuck the next but you do keep me laughing:) and for the records yeah the NERDS sucks big hairy balls. Phaarrel might be one of them DL niggas, ask T-Pain word is he knows first hand:)

  • Tyler

    “I’m unabashed in my appreciation of the white female form, such as it is”. . . Here, here my brotha. Yea’ NERD ain’t really hittin on shit past Lap Dance and that RockStar joint that U failed 2 mention dickhead plus they are only tryin’ 2 do something that we have prefected over here in the SolutionsGlobalMedia.com labs so slide thru and get yourself a taste of our un-cut product, ya’ dig.

  • The Spaniard

    “People often consider me white, because my English is all fucked up (which is to say, not fucked up at all)”

    H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A.

  • BIG O

    people dont think your white cuz you talk proper,its cuz you hate everythink black that doesnt bring blacks down.and some of these kids do dress wierd as shit,but if it aint a hoodie or t shirt and jeans most people think its gay,ecspecially* in the hip hop community.maybe a lot of rap heads are gay and scared tocome out the closet and thats why “no homo” and “nullus”are so popular now.

  • http://www.myspace.com/boris_savnik *TWO-PAK*

    Bol is a cracker… LOL!

  • N.O. in my viens

    why would st.lou boo nelly…if they dont look up to him then it must be huey…you remeber pop lock and drop it….smh

  • Cinsere

    “Even the rap stuff that they’ve done that’s really good is not necessarily my kind of thing.”

    Exactly what is your kind of thing?

  • SAS Productions
  • http://ifux.alumnah.com/ Farouq Obama aka Fux

    The Asian fellow, meanwhile, played the background, on some contraption that looked like a keyboard hooked up to a laptop computer. But he could’ve just been checking his email the entire time, or playing whatever game it is Asians like to play on their computers. For the longest time, I had this conspiracy that it wasn’t even him, just some Asian guy Pharrell had standing in for him. But then Pharrell mentioned him by name later on in the show, when he was introducing the band

    ^^ The Funniest shit ever! Yo you think ‘Chad’ was getting it in on Sodoku? Them Asian niggas is nice on the control pad or was he just emailing Jin, you know damn right hip-hop asians keep in contact do to their fairly similar taste in foods and music. If Jin passed by me at the swapmeet I would probably ask him for a bootleg casio jumpoff instead of his mixtape. Its recession bitches he has to get that guap!

  • will

    YOU ARE CORNY. plain and simple

  • crackalac

    uhh…i was there and nelly was not booed. not to mention the fact that the show was 100 percent fire. you either

    1 were not paying attn
    2 are not a nerd fan(why the fuck did u go
    then)
    3 are retarded
    4 (most likely) all of the above.

  • Trey Stone

    Kanye and N.E.R.D. > Wu-Tang.

    believe it

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      ^Precisely the thought that keeps me up at night.

      • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack

        if u think dat the wu RIGHT NOW is whats up, then u sir have a problem.

        • BLAHMASTER

          good music is good music, right now the WU aint poppin cause of internal strife, but that doesn’t erase what they have done, and 8 diagrams still had a coiple of bangers,

          secondly, tighht straight leg jeans? i’m sorry but i dont care whose name is on the label, there is some shit men just aint supposed to wear, then again i guess it goes hand in hand with all the bullhit on the radio

        • EReal

          8 Diagrams was trash, it tarnished their legacy IMO.

          But Ghostface > Kanye & NERD

          TODAY. Beleive it.

          Were the kids wearing womens jeans like those god awful emo fags? LMAO.

        • BLAHMASTER

          GHOSTFACE > alot of these rap cats.
          LEGACY is the key word there

          and i must be getting to old for this game just like this cat BOL cause i don’t even know what emo fags are

  • WesGibson

    Nerd is dope. You’re not getting old, you’re continuing to be myopic.

  • thewirekills

    happy born day god

  • Moe Real

    Bol: You gotta hit us up with an update on this ebonics you’re talking. I know Nullus and TIs, but the fuck is LCD rap and -itis. Maybe dedicate a post to the Saturday Night Dictionary. Otherwise I’m not reading again.

  • LC

    It’s really just time passing you by Bol – you’re old – but hey – so am I so I know what you’re talking about

    Kids wearing whatever doesn’t bother me as much as fucking asians (or other non blacks) trying to be black and spouting ebonics and shit – that’s fucking detestable

  • Trey Stone

    in all seriousness (not that my last comment wasn’t serious,) good article Bol. that bit about the Other Neptune checking his email was pretty funny.

    i’d personally lay off the whole self-deprecating joke deal though. i mean i know you’re trying to deflect the “Bol’s a loser” shots but i dunno that that’s a really effective way of doing it.

  • El Capitan Obvious

    Bol = Internet Troll

  • NERD better Than WU?

    Are you smoking crack? Never Wu-Tang is Forever!

  • Asshole By Nature

    Soulja Boy > Wu-Tang & NERD

  • respondreact

    Critics/Persons unfamiliar with an artist’s music have no place reviewing a performance by that artist.

    NERD is a great band. Their records will be considered classics. Just consider their 1st release, “In Search Of”. It was awarded the Shortlist Prize for 2002. This is no industry award. It’s given by an artist’s peers and in 2002, those peers included ?uestlove, Beck, Damon Albarn, Dan the Automator, Jill Scott, Mos Def, Nic Harcourt, Spike Jonze, Iggy Pop, and The Strokes, among others.

    Also, what’s with all the racism against Asians in your post. XXL should be ashamed for allowing you to post such bigoted comments. I refuse to buy another issue of XXL after this crap.

    If only you were more familiar with Chad Hugo’s work and place in music, or even the instruments and equipment he had on stage in front of him, then you’d understand his contribution to the show.

    Again, try listening to the artist before forming an opinion. And by listening, I mean give it more than one listen.

  • http://www.mostbanginest.com mostbangin’est

    nirvana, smashing pumpkins + notorious b.i.g., wu-tang = those kids at the concert

    http://www.zshare.net/audio/8740606c70344b/
    or
    http://sharebee.com/322630e8
    +BPM+

    N*E*R*D – Everbody Nose

    Gnarls Barkley – RUN

    AdamTensta – Before U Know It

    Soulja Boy Tell’Em – Pass it To Arab

    Sebastian – H.A.L.

    The KnuX – Capuccino

    Rick Ross feat. T-Pain – The Boss

    The Cool Kids – Action Figures

    Erykah Badu – Soldier

    The Roots – 75 Bars (Black’s Reconstruction)

    Tapp – Shake That Ass

    JUSTICE – DVNO

    DJ Mehdi – Pony Rocking feat. Feadz

    mostbangin’est – http://WWW.MOSTBANGINEST.COM
    i practice many styles…

  • nellz

    Lol…old niggas kill me. Stop acting like u weren’t wearing tight jeans in the early 80′s