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Not all kids are worth knowing

I’m sure it’s difficult when you somehow end up with a baby by a broad you had no intentions on doing anything with, other than dropping your load in her and being done with it.

Like, maybe you were going especially hard, and the rubber broke. And then she didn’t want to get an abortion, because she knew you had some money, and she wasn’t the kind of broad that could pull a man of your caliber without pulling some ol’ bullshit like that. (Let’s face it, if you’re a black man these days, it’s a buyer’s market.)

Or maybe she was planning on playing you all along. So she told you she was on the pill, knowing good and well that she wasn’t. Or she poked a tiny hole in the rubber while you weren’t looking, like the one kid did with that deaf broad (I’ll maintain to this day that she was smokin’) on Weeds.

Now you’re stuck paying for some baby you hardly have anything to do with – other than that you once had sex with its mother – for the next 18 years, if not longer. I’m not saying a man in that situation should try to duck his responsibility. I’m just saying. I can sympathize with that man’s plight. I’m human like that.

Hence I wasn’t all that upset when I read a couple of weeks ago that Juvenile didn’t bother to show up to the funeral of that daughter of his who got mercked by her batshit teenage brother. I saw a few people on the Internets pretended to be upset, but you know how it is on the Internets. People will feign outrage about anything.

On the one hand, I’m sure it would be weird to have one of your kids die and not show up to the funeral. I probably would’ve shown up myself just to keep up appearances. Lord knows the last thing I need is for people to get the wrong idea about me. But on the other hand, I’m sure it’s hard to say exactly how you’d feel if you were in that situation.

Most likely, Juvenile didn’t have very much in the way of interaction with the poor bastard, other than when he sat down each month and wrote its mother a check for some ridonkulous sum. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if, when he heard the news, his first thought was, “Wow, as bad as it is, it’s gonna save me a shiteload of money.”

I know, that’s awful. It’s probably true though.

There may have also been some ambivalence towards the baby’s mother, which would of course only be projected onto the child, in that Juvenile knew the baby’s mother wasn’t shit, and that her older son was crazy, but there wasn’t a whole lot he could do, since the family court system in this country is so biased in favor of women.

SIMILARLY, Eddie Murphy isn’t even gonna bother meeting the baby he recently had by Scary Spice. He’s pissed because she pulled the old trick of telling him he could hit it raw, since she was on the pill. Next thing you know, she was knocked up with his baby.

Supposedly, Eddie shelled out for her prenatal care and what have you (she must have smoked up that Spice Girls money), but now they’re in court trying to hash out a child support agreement. Eddie’s trying to get the payment as low as possible, since he didn’t want the baby in the first place, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up getting stuck big time.

Actually, I’m surprised that girls can even pull that lying about being on the pill shit. There should be a law that says that, if a broad pulls some shit like that, she shouldn’t get any child support on GP. The only thing would be that I’m not sure how you’d go about proving she actually said she was on the pill, unless you got the whole thing on tape.

It should be obvious though, if you’ve got a shiteload of money, and the woman in question is someone you obviously couldn’t have any intentions on being with. I’d sat that even if you can’t prove that the man was definitely tricked, there should be some sort of consideration with regard to the caliber of the child’s mother when it comes to child support payments.

Some broads just plain don’t deserve that kind of money.

I guess what it comes down to is that, if you’re a guy, and you’ve got a shiteload of money, you’ve got to be extra careful about where you drop your load. You could end up with a child you could care less about by a woman you can’t stand, and then people will think you’re the one that’s the asshole when you don’t want to have anything to do with it.

What do you fruits think? Is it weird that guys like Juvenile and Eddie Murphy don’t want anything to do with their kids? Also, can any of you think of ways to turn this shit around on me, as if I’m the one who’s the asshole, let alone the fact that I don’t even have any kids? I’m sure you can. That’s all you people ever do.

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