I want my 90 seconds back

Earlier today or yesterday, Kanye West leaked some screen caps from his latest video, for “Homecoming,” and wouldn’t you know, it looks like some ol’ bullshit.

In this case though, rather than the anime teh gheyness of “Stronger,” or the silly conceptual bullshit (without any actual concepts) of “Flashing Lights,” it just looks like one of these videos done by this guy Rik Cordero, where it’s just a bunch of assholes standing around on a street corner mean-mugging for the camera, as if this was 1993.

I’m not saying that’s definitely what it’s going to be. That’s just the impression that I got, as the Mighty Mighty Bosstones might put it.

If it is, it’ll only be the latest in a ridonkulous litany of such videos to hit the Internets recently. Just this week alone, there’s been something like three or four of them, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s another three or four of them next week. (Which of course makes me wonder how much this guy charges per video. I might be in the wrong business!)

I suppose that’s a good thing, in the sense that there are now videos for any number of rap songs that might have otherwise gone without them. A group like The Roots (they’ve put out two of these damn things themselves this week), which can’t make much of a business case for continuing a major label recording career at this point, doesn’t have to sweat trying to convince the TIs at Def Jam (who’s in charge over there now, anyway?) to shell out what it would cost for a regular video.

And who knows, this might even be a boon for their career. I’m sure it can be proven with a spreadsheet that the more people who see your video, the more people will eventually run out and cop your album. Unless it’s a case like the most recent 50 Cent album, where each new single mostly serves as a reminder of how bad the music is. (I’ll spare you my opinion on what I’ve heard of the new Roots album for the time being.) As I recall, the Roots did release a series of low-budget, semi-unwatchable clips in advance of their last album, which you’ll recall didn’t do too well, but whatever. That’s just me being a naysayer.

The only thing about all of these new ultra low-budget rap videos currently flooding the Internets is that, I wonder if I speak for myself when I say that I generally only watch maybe 30 seconds or a minute of them before I go back to what I was doing, i.e. scouring the Internets for rapidshare links to pr0n videos. For example, yesterday there was a Snoop Dogg one that came out where it looked like all it was was him in his bedroom, sitting on his bed rapping. I was like, “What the fuck is this bullshit?”

The obvious concern being: Does it even matter if you’ve got a video for your new shit out, if hardly anyone will actually watch it? I know I’ve seen statistics re: YouTube videos in general that suggest that hardly anyone watches those things in their entirety, but I figured that was because so many of them are advertised to make it seem as if they have pr0n in them. I swear, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve clicked on a video thinking it would be some chick with ridonkulously large cans, only come to find out it’s just some asshole in his mother’s basement talking about the election.

As Sagat would say, maaaan, funk dat!

Which leads to my primary aesthetic concern with these ultra low-budget rap videos, as if I’m actually qualified to criticize… like, anything. (Though I’d argue that an entire childhood spent watching MTV should qualify me at least somewhat.) My issue with these videos is not so much that any ol’ d-bag with a camcorder could come up with one of them (this guy Rik Cordero, does seem to have a certain look to his shit), but to me they just aren’t interesting enough to warrant spending very much time looking at them, when I could be looking at pr0n or taking a nap or something.

If I had to guess, I’d say it’s only gonna be a matter of time before it really is just any ol’ d-bag with a camcorder coming up with these things. Posting you new ultra low-budget rap video on some asshole’s blog is gonna be the new posting a link to your MySpace profile in the comments section of some asshole’s blog. Then the market’s just gonna get flooded, and those who have the means will be left with no other choice but to pump more resources into their videos in order to distinguish themselves. Which would of course defeat the whole purpose of the ultra low-budget rap video movement in the first place.

What do you fruits think? Are these ultra low-budget rap videos the future of hip-hop, or just a waste of a few hundred bucks? I’d say they could at least use more strippers in them. Don’t they work for free or next to free anyway? The fuck?

  • yo

    …Blah…Blah..ETC…

    • I REIGN SUPREME

      cO-SIGN. BLAH BLAH

  • http://mr-hoju.blogspot.com hoo

    is your point that rappers dont have the money to make an expensive video so then they make a cheap video instead? i guess i would agree with that.

  • I REIGN SUPREME

    First!!!!

  • Fin

    Most of the big-budget videos nowadays are just as, if not more unwatchable. This week alone I think I’ve clicked on and immediately closed at least 4 vids.

  • http://www.ab.com AB

    I think the important thing isn’t the quality of the video, it’s the quality of the music. The only reason I’d watch a video with shitty music is if there were a lot of hoes I want to poke in it . . . then I’d mute it and get my lotion/tissues.

  • N.O. in my viens

    that rick roll was too funny

  • http://www.xxlmag.com Gooch

    i agree, most of these videos suck cock

  • Jerod

    What the fuck is the point of a music video anyway? No one looks forward to a music video. All a music video is, is some fucking background visuals so the room feels like it’s alive. I’ve never in my life thought “Wow, that was a GOOD music video.” It’s just something to keep your eyes occupied while your ears listen.

    I know all I wanna see in a music video, hip hop anyways, is some nearly naked females, and people smoking blunts. Blunts and girls, that’s what makes a hip hop music video. Yeah, some money lying around like “this is what i do” and a few nice cars doesn’t hurt, but anything else just confuses folks.

    Give me some constructive criticism if I’m wrong, cause I really don’t think there’s anything else to look for in judging a music video. Shit, even if it’s not hiphop or rap there should be nearly naked females and blunts.

    • http://www.theclassiks.blogspot.com H. IMPERIAL

      YO FAM I AGREE WIT U…I DOES THIS SHIT…AND I TRY 2 GET DUDES 2 DO OTHER SHIT BUT THEY JUST WANT THEY PEOPLES, CHICKS & WEED…AND THATS WUT I DO….

      http://www.myspace.com/imperialfilmworks

  • marlon

    if i ever have a tough time falling asleep i know who to turn to. boringest blogger ever.

  • so jazzy

    will you shut the fuck up already?

    oh, and you got a pretty good perception of the Homecoming video from 3 pics huh?

  • The Nicker

    Ahhhhh, Rick Rolled . . .

    ^^Then the market’s just gonna get flooded, and those who have the means will be left with no other choice but to pump more resources into their videos in order to distinguish themselves. Which would of course defeat the whole purpose of the ultra low-budget rap video movement in the first place.^^

    Like everything else in culture, a cycle. Which, of course, means it won’t be long until rap dies and must be reborn by KRS One (smh)

  • B-EZ

    HEY BOL…TRY WATCHING THE ENTIRE VIDEO DOUCHE BAG. THAT SNOOP VID YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, THAT PART WAS AT THE VERY BEGINNING ONLY.

  • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack

    BOL. U LOST WITH DIS POST. RIK VIDEOS ARE WHATS UP. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT U FOR GETTING BETTER U GET STRIKE ONE. NOW CAN U BOUNCE BACK?

  • BLACKMAN

    ALL THESE COMMENTS ARE NULLUS. THIS BLOG HAD ME LAUGHIN OUT LOUD(LITERALLY). YOU’VE BEEN ON A ROLL BOL…(HOPE I AINT JUST JINX YOU)…BUT ANYWAY, YEAH TODAY WAS PARTICULARLY DEPRESSING LISTENING TO KAY SLAY SCREAMIN HIS HEAD OFF AT JIVE RECORDS, WHEN B4 HE WAS FRONTIN LIKE HE AINT CARE..ITS HARD TO SAY THIS, BUT “HIPHOP IS SO FUKKIN DEAD”. THE NET, AND LOBUDGET VIDEOS, AND MYSPACE GIVIN ANY HOMO WIT A MIC AND A COMP THE AUDACITY TO THINK HE’LL BE THE NEXT 50 CENT IS KILLIN ME. WHO KNOWS, MAYBE THE FUTURE OF HIP HOP IS IN BLOGS..SAIGON STYLE…HAHA…1

  • cghosts

    Bol is falling off!

  • Tyler

    BoL, U barely listen to Rap music so why should we expect U 2 watch their videos. We dig that fact that they are showing us a dirty more street look with the bootleg joints. Could they use more half naked bitches? Yea’ 4 sure point well taken. U can never have enuff big titty joint waxers but it’s still cool none the less even when they suck, they suck in a street cool kinda way but since U live in your moms basement U wouldn’t know that. And who’s moms house has a fuckin basement these days anyway?

  • http://rizzleworld.blogspot.com/ allnice

    I think ultra low budget videos are only cool if they have hot chicks in them. If the chicks in the video are hot, then I don’t mind. If not, I don’t watch them. But I suspect that even if there were hot chicks in a low budget video, some people would still hate because people are jealous fucks like that. But at least they would watch it.

    There is already a flood of low budget rap videos. Most of them have a bunch of niggaz trying to get on standing around looking stupid. In England, gangs make their own videos dissing other gangs. It isn’t that big of a deal though.

    MTV barely plays videos anymore. If you can make your video get 100,000 views, you are straight. It doesn’t matter if the video is low budget or not. All a video has to be is short, controversial, or have some hot babes in it.

  • B-EZ

    BOOTLEG MUSIC VIDEO ARE WHATS UP. JUST SPEND ENOUGH DOUGH ON IT TO GET IT OUT TO THE PEOPLE AND POCKET THE REST. EXPENSIVE VIDEOS END UP LOOKING LIKE SHIT ANYWAYS. THE PEOPLE JUST WANT TO SEE THE ARTIST THEY LISTEN TO AND THE VID HELPS GET THE POINT OF THE SONG ACROSS SOMETIMES.

  • aquma

    What’s the point of a music video in the first place?

    If people aren’t selling records anymore, is the video really out there to get people to cop the album?

    If Kanye sold well and this is like his fifth video, I think at this point he’s probably trying to do some art shit.

    Whether you find it interesting or not is probably none of his concern as art is usually done for the artist, not some whatever shit the fans want to see. Or do they?

    If you lived in the boring ass suburbs, watching some rappers in an urban area rap on the street corner fulfills that fantasy of what it’s like to live there.

    Case-in-point : the videos are trying to be art but you might be on to something with the over saturation and eventual rising cost for the sake of distinction of the low budget video.

  • http://www.sweeneykovar.wordpress.com andres

    you have a point in that theres gonna be an increase of quanity and decrease in quality, although videos have been lame for a while now, but it should be interesting to see in what ways the creative heads will distinguish themselves.

  • http://xxlmag.com Mr. Bell

    As sagat would say. Thats classic Bol. That probably went over peoples heads.

  • http://myspace.com/liquidiq2 TOOPair

    i think Rik Cordero got some nice ass vids, personally.

    they are interpersonal and go with the artist at hand.

    i think that homecoming could have come better, but i also like the direction that was taken as well.

    although still the same, it has something fresh about it. you can’t tell me that you still didn’t want to make babies with Rita G, even after she counterdug kanye’s nutts with a shovel in flashing lites.

  • trillvillain

    this nigga byron crawford better come to my house with the ninety seconds i spent reading this wackness

  • Maddolies

    Saget 4 President

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  • Pierzy

    I don’t really understand the point of this post…

  • BarrackOsama

    bol is dat nigga

  • LC

    It goes without saying that rap songs shouldn’t be getting a big budget for music videos when a majority of the songs are shit to begin with – would you give a $5K car a $10K paint job? no…unless you’re a retard

    large bosoms of money should only be spent on making a music video if/when that song is your lead track – and if you’re sure it’s going to be a hit

    but i hear you Bol – if Hip hop were a person, at this stage, it’s about ready to pack up and move to del boca vista – the golden years (aka the 90′s) have given way to more and more crap this decade – I wish people would make a stand and stop buying shit albums that artists such as 50 cent probably recorded while they were pissing

  • daz_oc

    bol……..ur fallin off

  • AJG Da Aviator

    Bol u such a fukin Kanye Hater…. as always! I neva see u give da man some credit on anything he did(even beatin fisty’s azz on record sales,talk about whoa)so u jus lame again. I take bak da props i gave yo azz bout a week ago…..hope da flashing lights burn yo eyes out while u masturbate in yo parents basement!!! Skeet, skeet,skeet bitch!!!!

  • VoiceOfReason

    In this case though, rather than the anime teh gheyness of “Stronger,” or the silly conceptual bullshit (without any actual concepts) of “Flashing Lights,”

    LMAO@this dude going out of his way to hate on ‘Ye.

    I guess the verse about him being unfaithful to his significant other and the way the video unfolded had nothing to do with each other, huh?

    No wonder you’re stuck at the “BGM”.

  • Rudeboy

    -BOl

    yo, why you be hatin’so much and why are you so obsessed with “teh ghey”??? sounds like you need to step out da closet.

    Bol is teh ghey.hahaha. word

  • Ryan

    LOL @ the Bosstones, ska is the worst, that shit blew up in the 90′s for a second though. The Bosstones sound like a pop punk band that got into a fight with a high school football marching band. I like watching music videos, my friends and I sit there like Beavis and Butthead sometimes and watch the on demand videos, they have a very high LOL factor.

  • k kills

    Why does this guy Bol try to look so hard in his pic. Another weak article.After the 5th word, i can tell it sucks…

  • whyte Chokalate 410

    BOL MUSTA GOT SOME PUSSY OVER THE WEEKEND. NO BLOG !?

  • deepdish
  • Stressboogie

    Bol your opinion is so fucking retarded