Free the hip-hop mayor

I’ve been reading up on the case of this guy Kwame Kilpatrick, the hip-hop mayor of Detroit, and I’m not sure what to think. On the one hand, it’s become obvious to me that the guy’s a fucking idiot and should have never been elected mayor in the first place; but on the other hand, I’m not sure if that alone is sufficient cause for the guy to be kicked out of office, let alone thrown in jail.

My reasoning is this: Is it not our (er, your) prerogative as a community to demand less from our politicians, if we want to. Yeah, Kwame Kilpatrick isn’t the sharpest pencil in the box, but perhaps he appeals to black people on another level, mostly having to do with emotions and tribal bloodlust. I wouldn’t begrudge any black person their freedom to vote for this guy just because he’s black, or “hip-hop,” just like I wouldn’t want anyone to begrudge me my right to vote for the best candidate in this year’s presidential election, even if people think they don’t have any chance of winning.

I’m open-minded like that. (No homo.)

Kilpatrick’s detractors like to bring up the fact that the city of Detroit, which is legendary for being fucked the fuck up, spent $9 million investigating whether this guy got some extracurricular stank on his hanglow. (Shit, I could’ve told them that for half as much. If I was mayor of Detroit, I’d be balls deep in some hoo-er as I was typing this. Also, for all we know, this guy could actually be a pimp. He’s got the wardrobe. Or do all black people in Detroit dress like that?) And they claim that alone is reason enough for him to step down. So far he’s refused to, even after the city council there gave him an overwhelming vote of no confidence and asked for him to resign his position. Now he’s facing perjury charges and could do hard time, though hopefully he can pull a Clay Davis.

A few problems with this line of reasoning, as far as I’m concerned: First of all, how is it this guy’s fault that the city spent $9 million trying to get all up in his business? I’m pretty sure he didn’t personally sign off on that shit like, “Here, go waste $9 million that could’ve been better spent trying to clean this shit hole of a city up trying to figure out whether or not I sent nasty text messages to some light-skinted broad I been trying to dig since the 12th grade.” Common sense should have told them that the desire to have sex with girls you went to high school with can be completely irrational, and that any guy, given the means (like, if he was the mayor or some shit), would be tempted enough to try it. There’s girls I went to high school with, who don’t look like shit these days, that I’d be willing to take a certain amount of risk to have sex with, just for the sake of “closure.”

Also, who are we kidding here? I’m no expert when it comes to the financial issues facing major American cities, but Detroit doesn’t strike me as the kind of city that you can make all better by writing it a check for $9 million. Otherwise, we could all donate a dollar and be done with it. I’ll donate two, since it was my idea, but I need to be guaranteed some “me” time with one of Detroit’s finest hookers – maybe a light-skinted black chick. Seriously though, my fear here is that people are gonna try to blame all of the problems of Detroit on some mayor who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants (nullus); and not only will it have the effect of deflecting from the real issues, but it’ll also serve the purpose of tainting other hip-hop politicians who didn’t have anything to do with it, should one who’s actually worth a shit come along one day.

Long story short, yeah the guy’s a fuck-up, but if he’s removed from office, it shouldn’t be because he tried to get his nut off (nullus), or because some bureaucrat had a vendetta against him. It should be because people finally had the sense to elect someone with actual capability, regardless of who they’re related to or whether or not they’re “hip-hop.”

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  • ?

    Why is this thing with Kwame Kilpatrick such a big deal? He tried to get some pussy, so what? Who the hell cares?

  • og bobby j

    i agree. I think whoever did sign off on that 9 milli should be fired. Otherwise, people should really start to think about fixing the problem of the city instead of worrying where the mayors displays his longshank.

  • $crilla

    Proof Has n Always Will Be The Hip Hop Mayor Of Detroit!! Rest In Peace Big Homie!!

  • Fin

    Why the hell does “open minded” justify a no-homo?

    • oper

      “open minded” does justify a no homo only “open minded” people would ask why it doesnt.

  • major

    There’s girls I went to high school with, who don’t look like shit these days, that I’d be willing to take a certain amount of risk to have sex with, just for the sake of “closure.”

  • Sonic

    Its not that the city spent 9 mil trying to figure out if he did it. Two police officers were fired because they were investigating a (alleged) party at the mayoral mansion where a stripper (supposedly) got beat up (and sometime later was shot by the same kind of gun that DPD carries). They sued. Kwame lost but vowed to appeal. Their attorneys got there hands on incriminating text messages and let the mayor know about it who then decided to settle it for 8.4 mil + attorney fees to keep it quiet. Then someone else found out about that and now he’s facing charges of perjury for lying on the stand when asked about some of the info that was in the text messages.

  • master cheef

    50′s music is for rap fans who like their shit hardcore. if you like entertaining, clever rhymes to tight beats you cant quit nodding your head to, you might like 50′s shit.

    how come fat joe ran over to pap’s motel room, but doesnt try to holler at anyone from g-unit?

    you have got to respect these niggas’ gulliness.

  • http://xxl gside

    Yea Bo you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about you did your reseach your on some real Tempoton shit here making shit up talking bad about my city St. Louis was pretty fuck up the last time I pass threw. Anyway the city did’nt blow 9 million looking into some pussy, he blew 9 million trying to cover up the fact that he got some pussy and fired some cops for doing there job know how often do you find cop doing there job you know the Mayor a fuck up that’s who bought the lawsuit agisnt him see how much research you did but anyway he lost the law suit and the city was order to pay 8 million that would have been the end of the stroy but he didn’t want the text message relased that prove he was lying under oath I mean this cat is low he lied on his Mom’s who is a poltical figer in her own right and they got it on tape and he know’s they got it on tape and lied on Mom’s anyway he needs his ass whup and he should quit. Know I have done a lot of shit and I know cats out here in the streets that do alot of shit but lying on mom’s to cover your own tracks that’s a all time low and lying on mom’s ain’t hip hop the sad part he could have settle for $100,000 and to amit he had sex with a cold piece. Bo I don’t know if you seen Ms.Bealy she can’t compelte with some of nineteen and tweantysomethings but she head of her class.

  • geico lizard

    Bol the issue is that he lied about it under oath not that he cheated on his wife. as usual the crime is lying about sex like clinton did not that he actually got a professional from chubby monica while his wife was somewhere in the white house chilling. they had cops doing an investigation to see if he cheated on his wife and used public funds to cover it up and he wanted to keep the text messages from getting out so he had the cops fired and when they sued he settled out of court for 8.4 million with the cops he got fired. that 8.4million wasnt out of his pockets the city had to pay that and since homes in detroit sell on average for about 24grand each they really cant afford to have somebody in office who is blowing their money like that. his mom is a big time politician up there so he got alot of passes for that too so he is out of control and his wife has stuck with him through all of this. speaking of detroit women there is a dead stripper that they were talking about that they might try to link to the mayor because she was at his house and his wife came home and beat her up allegedly and when it was time for her to testify she was found dead so they will try to link that to him but who knows who killed her even though her son is now a witness. im sure some strippers in detroit roll with alot of suspect people so they cant blame her death on him but they may try to.

  • akaTheRealist

    “Now he’s facing perjury charges and could do hard time, though hopefully he can pull a Clay Davis.”
    Ha, a The Wire Reference!

    • jimmyjoints

      akaTheRetard, here’s a cookie!!

      • RisingSon

        co-sign that jimmyjoints.

  • that dude

    yeah u totally fucked the facts up

  • Tiffany J.

    As someone already said, he lied under oath. MY tax dollars were used to pay for that investigation. Our city is already POOR, and so is the state. We can’t afford this!

    IMHO, he should have resigned last week, when he was asked.

  • detroit red

    kwame settled a lawsuit for 9million because the plaintiffs had copys of all his text messages.

  • Risingson

    Who gives 2 flyin’ f*cks whether dude lied under oath, find me anybody who told the complete thruth under oath and I’ll show you a snitch…fact of the matter is people are hounding a man for having sex, are you serious!!!? Yeah so 9 million went down the drain trying to investigate this guy, I agree with Bols though, whats 9 million gonna change? Political candidates are raisin that much wit in a weekend…so stop acting like it would have made a great difference in the city of Detroit…matta fact everybody in Detroit should be blaming themselves for electin’ a mu’f*kka who wears a pimp suit cos obviouisly this guy doesn’t even try to feign some sort of respectable official decorum. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!!!???

  • youngz

    Detroit together with Baltimore and ST louis is the absolute shittiest places in the world, str8 depressing slumvillages=Real Talk

  • Bol

    *goes back to edit out the line that says the guy didn’t lie under oath, realizes there is no such line, is reminded of who he’s dealing with here*

  • pistons24

    Yes Bol, all black people in Detroit do dress like that.

  • stoneyisland


    Oh Ma God! Remy Found Guilty on Four Counts
    Posted Mar 27th 2008 12:24PM by TMZ Staff

    The verdict just came down in the Remy Ma trial, and the rapper has been convicted on four major charges — two counts of first-degree assault, attempted coercion, and criminal possession of a weapon.

    The charges stem from a 2007 incident in which Remy shot a friend of hers after a fight over $3,000 in cash stolen from Remy’s purse. The defense tried to make the shooting an accident — but it looks like they didn’t quite convince the jury.

    Remy was not found guilty of gang assault and witness tampering, among the nine total charges she faced. We’re told the victim’s friends and family taunted Remy when the verdicts were read — full pandemonium in the courtroom.

    Remy could face up from five to 25 years in prison at sentencing.

    Filed under: Celebrity Justice

  • Josh

    Bol said:

    “…light-skinted broad I been trying to dig since the 12th grade.’ Common sense…”

    Is this some kind of hidden reference to the old Ice Cube/Common beef?

  • The Nicker

    This whole post is a moot point, mostly because as many here have pointed out, Sonic foremost among them, the $9 milli was spent on a settlement after they fired these cops who were investigating the incident to begin with.