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Time to choose and lose

So, it’s Super Tuesday. How many of you fruits are planning on pulling the lever for your favorite candidate?

Also, how many of you are planning on voting?


No but really, today’s primary elections and caucuses could decide once and for all who ends up the nominees in this year’s presidential election. Or maybe they won’t. As we’ve seen so far this election cycle, these things can be impossible to predict. And the race on the Democratic side in particular has been portrayed in the media as being close as shit.

Either way, this could end up being the biggest day in a primary election evar. I’m gonna have it locked to MSNBC later on today, when they wheel out my boy Chris Matthews. Hopefully he says or does something completely ridonkulous. In fact, I’m pretty sure he will. It’s just a matter of what.

Shit, I might even have to vote. Later on, I’ve gotta go turn in the rent, or else I’m gonna have to pay some sort of extra fee. And my Jew is not too far from where I vote (natch?), so I could probably swing that.

The thing is, it’s all fucked the fuck up outside, and I already had to drive to the grocery store just now to buy some coffee, so that I’d be able to… you know, even sit up straight. And you know how bad it sucks dealing with old people in the grocery store during the day. My fear is that I’m gonna show up to the polling place and have to stand in a long-ass line of elderly crackety-cracks.

And then I’m gonna be tempted to step out of line and just say, fuck it. I’ve done it before, because I figured the state of misery Missouri was gonna go red anyway. And lo and behold, Missouri ended up going red. And it wasn’t by a one-vote margin either. This time it’s different though, because it’s a primary election. So it’s not so much a matter of red versus blue, as it is which candidate in each party ends up with the most votes.

And supposedly, Missouri is way important this year, especially on the Democratic side. I saw on TV, before I went to get this coffee, that a) the race here is way close, and b) every candidate who won the presidential election for the last 100 years won the state of Missouri. Or something along those lines. Suffice it to say my vote, should I get around to using it, probably matters more than most people’s.

As I’ve mentioned before on this site, it’s not like I really have a dog in this race. I find Barack Obama to be an empty suit, hardly distinguishable on the issues from Hillary Clinton, except for a) on the issues in which he’s to the right of her, and b) the fact that he wasn’t in the Senate to vote yes on the Iraq War. As far as that’s concerned, of course I’m gonna have to agree with Bill Clinton that the idea that there’s any difference between Obama’s stance and Hillary Clinton’s is a fucking fairy tale.

Also, I’m at a loss for why his line of BS with regard to “hope” is so resonant with people. To me, it sounds like some ol’ Ronald Reagan breakfast in America bullshit. (Or am I confusing Ronald Reagan with Supertramp?) It’s pretty much the exact opposite of my own world view, since I don’t find there to be any hope at all in this country. (Maybe I read too much.) If I was running for president, my slogan would be, “Expect the worst, plan accordingly.”

It’s weird, but on a purely rhetorical level, I find myself much more drawn to the… shall we say, realism of Hillary Clinton, even though I know Obama has gone to great lengths to try to invoke some of the rhetoric of the civil rights movement – things that ostensibly should resonate with me. People give her shit about claiming to have experience when all she was was the First Lady, but I can kinda buy the argument that she was involved enough in crafting policy to know that it takes a lot more than crafting catchy slogans, if you ever want to get anything done in Washington.

Face it, she kinda had a point with regard to MLK and LBJ.

That said, I’d much rather see Obama get the nomination than Hillary Clinton, if only because he’s black (-ish). Not that I derive any more satisfaction in knowing that Barack Obama could be president than I did when they made Condoleezza Rice Secretary of State – nor should I. But I figure Barack Obama would be way more interesting just to write about than Hillary Clinton, even with the caveat that electing Hillary would mean Bill would be back in the White House, with lots of free time on his hands.

What do you fruits think? Should I vote today, and if so, for whom should I cast a ballot? And why?

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