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The gulliest TI in all of hip-hop

As events this week have proven, sometimes conspiracy theories are truer than we could even imagine.

Take for example this nutjob trying to sue Jay-Z for $6 gozilllion in reparations. He might not have actually been DJ Kool Herc (my bad about suggesting that he was on crack, even though he was), but damn it if he hasn’t managed to convince me that Jay-Z is at the center of a centuries-long conspiracy to enslave black people.

The evidence is just too compelling.

Similarly, I’ve uncovered evidence in the past several weeks that’s confirmed everything I ever suspected about the hip-hop community’s involvement with the global trade in blood diamonds.

It was a couple of years ago when I first became familiar with this guy Lev Leviev, one of the top TIs in the diamond business. A guy I know was quoted in this story in Vanity Fair about how Jacob the Jeweler had gotten caught laundering drug money for the Black Mafia Family; and in the story it was revealed that this guy Leviev, who’s Jacob’s cousin (no, really), is the secret owner of Jacob & Co.

(Also quoted in the story was one of the clowns from this site’s comments section, who had this to say: “Jacob da jewler better keep his mouth closed dem B.M.F. niggaz gona merck [kill] his rich ass.”)

At the time, I wasn’t sure if I was convinced that Jacob was necessarily guilty of any wrongdoing. Yeah, a bunch of drug dealers (and part-time hip-hop moguls) gave Jacob a shiteload of dirty money in exchange for jewelry, but you know how black people like to wear their wealth (such as it is) on their backs. If the BMF had spent that money on computers, something tells me Bill Gates wouldn’t be doing a perp walk.

Not that I was coming to Jacob’s defense or anything. I was just saying, as a matter of principle. This struck me as a matter of law enforcement coming down on a company for doing business with black people, just because they may or may not have been involved with some shady activity. Lord knows if you made it a crime to provide goods and services to black people who are tangentially involved with foolishness, we’d probably all starve to death.

Also, I believe it was Jesus who said (to the Jews), “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” If a company that funded the slave trade for 400 years and is probably involved in all sorts of apartheid to this day can have its own basketball stadium in Brooklyn, then the Black Mafia Family should be able to cop its pinky rings in peace on GP.

But I digress. As it turns out, this guy Leviev is involved way deeper than even I would have been able to imagine in the kind of ridonkulous bullshit I probably wouldn’t even be able to suggest about him without being accused of dealing in stereotypes for my own personal amusement, i.e. pretty much the only thing I enjoy doing these days, at least during daylight hours.

Atheist layabout that I am, I’m often at a loss for why some of the world’s most egregious criminals would even bother putting themselves out there like that, when they’ve probably already got enough money to live forever and ever. You’d have to think that at some point they would just get a bunch of coke and some hookers and call it a day.

With this guy Leviev, I’m not sure what the deal is. There probably is some deeper conspiracy, but part of it must be that he needs as much money as he can get to fund his ridonkulous lifestyle. A few weeks ago, I came across a story in Haaretz about how he just bought the most expensive new home ever in England, for $70 million. One staircase in it cost $1.5 million. He also owns homes in Israel, New York, and Moscow.

It’s also mentioned in the article that the house is equipped with a gang of high tech security shit right out of one of those Mission: Impossible movies, including a bulletproof door. It hadn’t occurred to me at the time why a guy in the diamond business would need all sorts of Tony Montana shit in his house, but then I wasn’t aware at the time the extent to which this guy is involved in shenanigans all across the globe.

I was aware that he owned a few diamond mines in Angola from which he extracted blood diamonds, which he then sold to rappers at a ridonkulous markup, but a recent press release by a group called Adalah-NY: The Coalition for Justice in the Middle East provides some insight into why someone might be compelled to fire an AK-47 at this guy’s front door.

You see, in addition to his 25 security cameras and his one-tone bathroom basin carved from a single piece of white Iranian onyx, Lev Leviev also uses the money he gets from Young Jeezy to build homes in these settlements in the West Bank, which Israel has occupied for the specific purpose of the continued subjugation of the Palestinians. Which, regardless of what this fruit Tray in the comments section says, flies in the face of the US’ interests as a secure, sovereign entity.

It’s why the terrorists hate us. And who knew the hip-hop community was so deeply involved with it?

This group Adalah-NY was trying to come down on some of these Hollywood celebrities who Leviev supposedly gave jewelry to wear to the Oscars. I’m surprised though that no one has take a similar stance in the hip-hop community, especially given the extent to which hip-hop has been involved in promoting the bling culture. Would Jacob & Co. be as big as it is today without these dumbass rappers?

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