Is Fisty Scent Going Broke?

Everyone thought that Fisty Scent had backed down his baby moms when we learned that she was only receiving a paltry seven stacks a month after suing ol’ boy for fifty stacks per full moon. This wasn’t a case however of a Black man finally getting some equity from the family courts system, but the final reckoning that Fisty Scent was NOT an owner of Vitamin Water.

The lawyer that Fisty’s baby moms contracted was Raoul Felder. This dude is a legendary t.I. shiester. This is the dude that helped Diddy’s OG B.M. cake up out of control and Diddy has several kids so you know that Diddy must have some paper if Mysa Hilton-Brim is banking several hundred thousand dollars a year just in child support. The reports of Fisty’s fortune may have been greatly exaggerated, and at the end of the day I say that is a good thing for gangsta rap.

Those of us with any amount of intelligence will agree with the following…

Power Of A Dollar Fifty Scent > GRODT Fisty Scent >> The Massacre Fisty Scent >>> Curtis Fisty Scent. Actually, I would rank ‘Curtis’ over ‘The Massacre’, but walk with me on this shit. The more money that Fisty Scent has been reported to having the more shitty he has become as a rapper. You can’t argue with that statement. Okay, you could argue, but why?

All I’m saying is that Fisty Scent becomes a more compelling rapper when he is broke. His style becomes more crisp and sinister. The rich, mansion-owning Fisty just doesn’t excite me as a rap fan, but the Fisty Scent that doesn’t have enough chips to buy a fried chicken and biscuit dinner is the shit. It’s time for dude to get back to the basics. Here are a few items for Fisty to consider in order to get his money back up…

1) Get out of the rag business.
I just read this article about how hundreds of t-shirts were being sent to Nicarauga because they were silkscreened to say New England Patriots 19-0. That will be the same fate for the surplus of G-Unit t-shirts when the U.S. recession peaks. Anyone ever remember the Cross Colours or No Limit clothing lines?

2) Get out of the book business.
We are living in what I call a post-literate society. It’s not that people can’t read, but more like people choose NOT to. The masses want their infotainment via video stream whether it be the legacy broadcast system or the new fangled broadband way. You folks that come through this column read but how many of you are buying books when you can download them?

3) Get back in shape and trim the fat.
G-Unit should be two rappers. Three tops. After Fisty is Tony Yayo and after Yayo is Banks. Neither of these dudes have the work ethic that Fisty does but at least Tony Yayo recognizes his position as weedcarrier. If everyone want to be the engine that drives the car these niggas should get their own cars to drive. That doesn’t include of course the Porsches that were given to Mobb Deep for being ceremonial weedcarriers at G-Unit.

4) Get the legend of Fisty Scent back in the press.
The pedigree that Fisty Scent established for gangsta rappers will never be eclipsed. While some new gangsta rap dude may have a jail record, we will never get someone to claim they were shot more than nine times. First, that takes a ridiculous pain threshold that most normal people don’t have and secondly, most people that get shot end up disabled. MF Grimm notwithstanding, disabilities don’t typically work for gangsta rap artists. Although I would be willing to review the albums of any amputees that think they can spit some hot shit. I mean, hey, you only need one hand to shoot a gun.

5) Get back in the studio.
If Lil’ Wang had half the songwriting ability that is contained in one sweaty Fisty Scent du-rag the Carter III would be better than Illmatic because Wang certainly has the work ethic. Whatever Fisty Scent needs to make the recording studio the type of environment that he can’t be away from is what he needs to build into his studio. Sit-up benches, chin-up bars, floor to ceiling mirrors and pin-up pictures of Ja Rule and Fat Joe should be placed in the booth. I can’t pretend to know exactly what motivates Fisty, but he certainly knows, and he should get right to it.

I still feel that Fisty Scent has the space to re-invent himself in the rap game. It is going to take a lot of courage though for him to come back out as a rapper who had it all and then lost it all, but Fisty is one of the best actors in Hip-Hop and dude could pull that shit off. From rags to riches, back to rags again and then back to riches. I just made myself amped to hear the soundtrack.