Contact Us

A victory for men everywhere

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Barack Obama Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you’re a guy, it’s probably the worst thing you could imagine, short of something bad happening to your junk: You come into a shiteload of money, just to have to share it with some broad, because you used to fuck her, probably because that used to be your best option. But obviously now it isn’t.

It’s the situation 50 Cent found himself in a few years ago, when he had all of this newfound money, and you just know his baby’s mother (oldfound pussy, if you will) was chomping at the bit to get her grubby palms on as much of it as she possibly could. As if she was the genius mind behind such masterpieces as “I Stay High All the Time” and “Bitch, Get in My Car.”


Now, I don’t mean to suggest that Fiddy Cent regrets his son being born, or even the woman he had the baby with. (There’s times in a man’s life when he has to take what he can get, and for 50 Cent that time was 10 years ago.) But I’m sure he does regret having to pay this woman an exorbitant sum just because she had his baby.

In fact, I would imagine pretty much any man who’s being honest with himself would object to that sort of thing on principle, even if he has the means. Why should a woman become rich for no other reason than the fact that she had some man’s baby? I mean I could see if a man decides of his own volition to break her off. But if he doesn’t, then so be it.

The reason I bring this up is because it was announced just now that Fiddy Cent and his baby’s mother, one Shaniqua Tomkins (don’t be a racist), have come to an agreement with regard Fiddy’s child support payments. She was trying to stick him for $50,000 a month, but Fiddy got her to settle for a mere $6,700 a month. Damn.

How in the world Fiddy managed to swing that, especially in light of rumors with regard to several recent paydays of his, is beyond me. Not that it would sit right with me in the least bit (as if it has any bearing on my life one way or the other), but Fiddy Cent might be the one rapper who would be capable of being extorted by a broad like that without it being any sweat off his back. (Nullus?)

As he put it himself: Have a baby by Fiddy Cent, be a millionaire!

Whatever it was, I’m sure he can expect to be fielding calls from cats like Diddy and Fiddy Cent, who have had similar issues. Especially Diddy, who already pays more in child support than anyone, and apparently can’t be made to wear a condom (though I can hardly blame him). Fiddy, Russell Simmons or somebody needs to sit him down and have a talk already.

It’s a shame though that having to pay a broad $6,700 would even be considered a coup in the first place. If it was up to me, a man wouldn’t have to pay a woman any more than it would cost to buy a kid some clothes, feed him, and keep a roof over his head, i.e. enough to keep the bitch off of welfare and hence out of Bol’s pocket. (As if!)

The argument generally put forth is that a woman (er, the parent who isn’t worth a shit) should be able to provide the child with the same level of comfort that the man would, I guess so the child doesn’t think poorly of its mother. But my thought is this: unless it’s retarded, the child will eventually realize the true nature of its parents’ relationship anyway.

And otherwise, I’m at a loss for why a man, unless he really wants to, should have to provide any more for a child than he absolutely has to. Perhaps TPAR would like to explain.

Recommended For You

Around the Web

Best of XXL

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for XXL Mag quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!