South Carolina was always gonna be a big state for Barack Obama, but now that he’s lost to Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire, it’s even that much more vital.
As I’ve mentioned before on this site, South Carolina has a shiteload of black people, and they’re remarkably split between Obama and Hillary, given that Barack Obama is the first black presidential candidate who’s lightskinted enough to be given a pass from white America.
Watching MSNBC’s ridonkulous campaign coverage the other day, it occurred to me that one way Barack Obama might further ingratiate himself with the black community is to change his campaign music from the motherfucking “City of Blinding Lights” by U2 to something black people might better appreciate.
(Given that he lives to invoke Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (what the fuck does “the fierce urgency of now” mean anyway?), you’d think he’d at least go with “Pride (In the Name of Love).” Or would that be too weird, since he obviously already fears being shot?)
I imagine even white people with a modicum of taste would object to “City of Blinding Lights,” but of course that’s only going to be an extreme minority.
But you have to wonder if his support in the black community would even be an issue if he’d just take certain steps to make himself seem blacker, aesthetically.
Obviously there’s not a whole lot he can do to make his skin any darker, and it might be political suicide anyway. But blacker theme music might not be a bad idea. After all, white people love black music! So I put together the following list of songs Barack Obama might consider to that end.
Public Enemy “Fight the Power”
Reasoning: This song was made to be a black candidate’s theme music.
Why this might not be a good idea: The part about John Wayne and Elvis, not to mention Flava Flav’s latter day career as a minstrel performer. You can imagine the kind of controversy that might engender.
John Mayer “Waiting on the World to Change”
Reasoning: You know how black people love them some John Mayer!
Why this might not be a good idea: What if, between now and November, black people somehow managed to recognize this for the fake Curtis Mayfield bullshit that it is?
Styles P Jadakiss “Why”
Reasoning: Victimization tends to resonate with black people.
Why this might not be a good idea: The part about Bush knocking down the twin towers. Lord knows Obama’s got enough problems with his name alone.
Alicia Keys “No One”
Reasoning: Not only is she lightskinted, just like the senator, but this song has a vague, silly message, just like he does!
Why this might not be a good idea: TMZ might catch her with her face buried in another woman’s crotch between now and November, which would be a bad look for Obama.
Nas “I Can”
Reasoning: Sends a strong message of empowerment to today’s youth.
Why this might not be a good idea: Nas has an album coming out called Nigger, with a song on it called “The Fear of a Black Man’s Dick.”