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Free Lil’ Wayne!

You know what would suck?

If Lil’ Wayne managed to get himself thrown in jail before he could finish working on Tha Carter III. Then the album would come out anyway, just so the label could cut its losses, but it would suck balls and people would be like, “Yeah, but Lil’ Wayne didn’t get a chance to finish working on it, because he got thrown in jail.”

See, I was counting on Tha Carter III to be released this year, and for it to be fucking awful, just so I could be like, “See, I told you fruits all along that the guy was a fucking no-talent. The reason the album kept getting pushed back is because, try as he might, he couldn’t make a great album if he wanted to.”

You know, for my own personal amusement.

And also for the sake of hip-hop. Er, what’s left of it anyway. There’s no way in the world a guy without a single great album under his belt (some would say he doesn’t have a good one) should be considered the greatest rapper alive. Fuck all that mixtape bullshit. This was about to be my moment.

And I’m pretty sure that’s where this was all headed.

Did everyone not hear that Leak EP that was secretly shuffled onto iTunes on Christmas Day, for your listening pleasure? Wow, what a shite sandwich! Even Tom Breihan struggled to pretend that it was worth a shit. And he’s gotten so good lately at coming up with excuses for awful rap music. I even went back and listened to 8 Diagrams again after the umpteenth he said it really was a masterpiece (no, really).

If that was the stuff that was supposed to be on Tha Carter III when it was gonna be released last year, no wonder it’s been continually pushed back and reconfigured. I think it was even once mentioned in a blog by one of the guys who used to work here: If the TIs at Universal really thought they had a Graduation or whatever on their hands with Tha Carter III, that shit would have been out, regardless of whether or not Wayne thought it was ready – the fact that Wayne is the fake president of Cash Money records notwithstanding. So I’m left with no other choice than to assume that the reason we’ve yet to hear the album is because that’s just how bad it is. It’s the same thing that happened with Curtis.

I’m afraid, though, that Wayne is gonna have some nasty drug mishap or he’s gonna get thrown in jail before he can put the best effort he’s capable of into this album. Or maybe it’s already too late. Even avowed Wayne stans haven’t been as impressed with his last few mixtapes – like the one where he plays around with whatever the microphone is that T-Pain uses – as they were with some of the older ones. Ideally, for the sake of my self-esteem, we need for Lil’ Wayne to put everything that he possibly can into this album, for it to still not be enough by a long shot.

Also, The Clipse, who I’ll admit only interest me somewhat, are about to get in that ass on their new mixtape, The Spirit of Competition or whatever it’s called. I saw the two of them talking all sorts of shit about Lil’ Wayne on one of MTV’s Mixtape Mondays a few weeks ago, and I’ve yet to hear much of a response from him one way or the other. For the sake of their career at this point, I’m sure The Clipse are hoping that Wayne is willing and able to fully engage with them. If he can’t for whatever reason, his inevitable stunning defeat won’t count for as much both in terms of art and commerce.

So you see, for all of these reasons, it’s vital that Lil’ Wayne stays free at least until the end of this year. (Then you can toss his ass under the jail.) Here’s hoping his lawyer is as good as whoever it is Busta Rhymes uses. Or maybe he could just rat out somebody.

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