Eminem had a heart attack?

When I saw Dr. Dre at the MTV Awards back in September, it occurred to me that there must be some office memo going around at Aftermath informing its employees that they need to get on the juice and bulk the fuck up.

How else to explain the fact that Fiddy Cent, Busta Rhymes, and now Dr. Dre are all walking around looking like they just got out the joint after having served a mandatory minimum? (Except their arms might be a bit more symmetrical, if you know what I mean!)

Maybe that’s why Joell Ortiz was whining in a video posted here a few weeks ago that Dr. Dre is no longer taking his calls. In an interview with him posted today at Unkut.com, he complains that the picture of him on the cover of XXL’s “Leaders of the New School” issue makes him look fat, but I’m pretty sure it was his chin.

Zing!

And apparently that memo didn’t quite make it out to Detroit. According to an item at TMZ today, Eminem had to be rushed to the hospital over the holidays for a serious heard condition and severe pneumonia. Um, ruh roh?

Big deal, you’re saying. The guy got sick. People (especially people with bad drug problems) get sick from time to time, you know.

Well, here’s the thing. Supposedly, Eminem’s weight has ballooned to over 200 pounds. TMZ doesn’t say for certain how they know this is true, or whether it actually has anything to do with his hospitalization.

But obviously they want us to assume he got too fat and had a heart attack. And in the absence of any evidence to the contrary other than the following statement from his publicist, I’m gonna go ahead and assume that this is the case.

The “official story,” per Em’s PR people:

“Over the holidays, Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, was under doctor’s care at a Detroit-area hospital for complications due to pneumonia. He has since been released and is doing well recovering at home.”

Hmm…

As a fan and a fellow heart attack waiting to happen, here’s hoping he gets well soon.

Speaking of rappers with health problems, today’s news is coming on the heels of news last week that Nate Dogg had a stroke and is laid up in some nursing home out in California, as if he was an 80 year-old man.

Which begs the question: What the fuck is going on here? Even Marley Marl seemed a bit young to be having a heart attack, his issues with the pipe notwithstanding. (I can say that now, right?) But these guys aren’t even 40!

It used to be all we had to fear was rappers being assassinated by Suge Knight.

  • jonathan

    NOT ANYMORE THE POWERS THAT BE CAN HIT THAT LIGHT SWITCH ON YOUR LIFE AT ANY POINT! IS IT ILLEGAL! OFCOURSE LOLOL! BUT HEY WHO CARES YOUR MAKEING SLAVE MONEY! YOUR SOUILDER BOYING JONATHAN! MEANWHILE YOU CAN BE GIVEN A HEART ATTACK STROKE CANCER MANY CONDITIONS WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY! YOU BAGS ARE LOVING AND HELPING KEEP A SECRET! ALL I CAN SAY IS

    BARACK BE CAREFULL! BE VERY CAREFULL
    LOLOLOLOLOL! THEY DONT GOTTA SHOOT YOU ANYMORE DOG! JUST REALIZE THAT!

    • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=18166#comment-716980 DETROIT PARK

      EMINEM THE BEST RAPPER

      • diamondz

        eminem is a fucking snitch i heard he ratted on ti just before he got rolled on fuck all you lames its all about brazito

        • morbid

          fuck brazito EM aint no snitch ur just on brazito’s cock to much. by the way who the fuck is brazito, a nobody thats who.

        • ryan

          stfu bitch eminem is down with T.I and T.I is down with him whoever told u that homie is a fucken lier dawg i know shit trust me eminem is a humble ass dude when shit pops off marshall accttually fights he aint a snitch or a bitch know ur shit u dont even know who he is u only see him on tv.

  • og bobby j

    I honestly couldnt give 2 fucks about the health of these cats. My life goes on whether they are here or not. I do wish them all the best. Health is not something you can right a check out for, unless your magic johnson.

  • b-ease

    Too fat? Too much blow? I’m sure we’ll hear about it on his next shitty album…

    • ANDY

      b-ease ur a dick eminem is the best rapper ever better than all that fake shit that 50 cent makes

  • JAY STONE

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m never happy when a man loses his job, but I was a faithful reader of XXL since the first issue. It was the best hip hop mag I ever read. However, as soon as they got to the top, shit went downhill. It got to the point where XXL was just as biased and flawed as the mag they mocked every issue – The Source.

    Credible, interesting journalism was abandoned in favor of catering to who they thought was their audience and wack rappers began getting all of the attention, while artists with talent could only wish they could get an interview. I cancelled my subscription a year ago cuz I couldn’t take it anymore. Plus, I could get better journalism and up-to-the-minute hip hop news for free online.

    Hopefully, this change will see XXL get back to a credible publication. We’ll see. But, it may be too late now.

  • vega

    Sounds like Rick James’ untimely demise due to excessive llello consumption.

  • http://incilin.blogspot.com Incilin

    Yeah, rappers need to start taking care of themsleves better. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

  • http://www.alumnah.com green eyes

    nate dogg had a stroke? i didnt hear about that one

  • Danny

    R.I.P. YN (I hardely knew ye)
    -Danny

  • http://www.fakeshoredrive.blogspot.com AB

    The whole Elvis/Eminem comparison got to him and spiraled into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Bring on the fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches!

    I’m just sayin…

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    (Except their arms might be a bit more symmetrical, if you know what I mean!)
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Cuz it look like u was smiling when you typed that.lmao

  • The Nicker

    Bol, you need to get on that Interscope workout regimen . . .

  • Mr.Wang

    TMZ’s garbage.

  • http://TparsWackyLiberalFunhouse these posts are racist

    Heart attacks are clearly a conspiracy of the racist corrupt government only known as…America.

    • N.O. 4 life

      the hell?…heart attacks are a cause of bad eating habbits…thats why bol is a heart attack waitin to happen…and billy x sunday for that matter

      • Fire

        You know that’s not TPAR, right? It’s some douchebag posting under his name. I’m not the biggest TPAR fan myself, although he does make some good points, but that’s not him.

        Anyway, this is the first I’ve heard about Eminem’s health problems, and whatever’s going on with him I hope he gets well soon so he can return to making good music. Hope they get their shit together over at Aftermath too. Detox, Bishop Lamont, OB4CL 2, too many false promises. It appears that sometimes he’s too busy with his new headphones. Just release the music.

  • Chris S

    wow, very well written bol. your first good one in forever.

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Even a broken clock is right twice a day!

  • Danny

    Y.N.= Man Down

  • mac morrison

    http://www.myspace.com/mactharipper

    THE REAL KING OF THE SOUTH

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    SUPER EMCEE,SUPER PRODUCER,SUPER MUSICIAN

    http://www.myspace.com/mactharipper

    I AM HIP HOP! SUPPORT THAT NEW TRACKS “DUMB MYSELF” AND “MOVE UP”

    http://www.myspace.com/mactharipper
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    A.o.A ALIVE ON ARIIVEL RECORDS

  • Around and Around

    “Well, here’s the thing. Supposedly, Eminem’s weight has ballooned to over 200″
    —————

    Over 200 LB’s? That ain’t shit. How tall is he?

    TMZ is for drama queen’s and housewifey’s

    • Penelope Rodriguez

      I heard he’s about 5’8″

      In addition, I hope he gets better…It’s been quite some time since i’ve heard some music from him

  • ThingAlec

    Oh shit. This is it. This is the year when tons of rappers start dying of natural causes. All of that drug use in the past is coming bck to bite them.

  • moresickaMC

    i guess he shouldnt have dissed Elvis…(man in the mirror?)

  • BIZZLE

    DAMN…BOL DOES IT AGAIN, BUT YOUR ONLY A BIG MAC AWAY HOMIE. REMEMBER THAT!

  • CHUN

    Surprisingly, it’s the weed. Paranoia off that shit can cause symptoms of a heart attack, including heart palpatations. Laugh it/them off…

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  • http://koolkidkulture.blogspot.com/ Koolkidkulture

    get better, EM.

    Boost Mobile Anthem 2.0
    Behind the scenes with Jeezy, JD and Mickey Avalon
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3er-A6HsW8w

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  • bentleydriver

    wheres YN’s column?

    his was the best one.

    can someone fill me in

  • Rizzop

    looks like benzino won the war!! j/k

  • http://dronkmunk.blogspot.com dronkmunk

    OH SHIT HE REALLY IS THE NEW ELVIS HAHAHAHA

  • ah huh

    awww shoot, thought my prayers had been answered for a second there, so I’m asuming the honky is still alive then, dratt. Thought the Ghost of hip-hop past had come a beckoning at his door seeing as his made so much loot off our music……. and fuck anyone that says its not just our music cos “newsflash” IT IS….

    ONE

  • Tyler

    U mean 2 tell me ‘dat our lovable BoL is in better shape than Eminem who had to be rushed to the hospital? Okay, so score one for BoL. Now get your bank account up boyeee.

  • Liam

    I hope eminem doesn’t die, because he would definitely get unrivalled levels of stannery, leading him to be the most overrated rapper since Tupac, if he isn’t already

  • MsMolly

    Steroids. Its obvious its steroids. It makes you blow up if you stop working out.

  • DaRyder

    You all a bunch of hater, Em is one of the greatest MCs of all time and the most influential since pac!

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    The diet of Hip-Hop is beef, chicken, vegetarians and fruits.

    No water. Only Heineken and Hennessy, purp and Curtis’s grape/purple vitamin water.

    We’re killing ourselves. They don’t have to do it to us anymore. I’m not even going to speak on what I heard went down with Pimp-C’s death, but either way, it seems like rappers mostly die before 45. Yuck.

    Shout to Em. I’ve been blasting those Marshall Mathers and Eminem Shows heavy for the last few weeks. Dude needs to stay around and deliver us from the bullshit, if it’s still in his heart.

  • Eman

    Eminem would kill any rapper in the game. If he dropped an album today it would be the biggest album of the year most of yall are delusions and have overdosed off tpain and soulja boy

  • Diggy

    Bol, if you know that you’re a fellow heart attack waiting to happen, why don’t you get off your overweight, jiggly, obese, disgusting, no bitch gettin’ ass and lose some weight before you kill over. You won’t be missed so how bout you kick it in high gear.
    Heart attacks aint no fuckin’ joke!

  • master cheef

    i’m sick of hearing about all the money em has made off of the black culture. What about all the black artists he has put out and they’ve become successful, dude makes sure a lot of niggas eat

    • ah huh

      YOU, for one needs to open your eyes and see exactly what this honky has done to rap/hip-hop in the long run, open your eyes B, he has brought the violence in rap/hip hop to the fore simply because he is white and had the audience, hence the reason why media outlets can make tomfoolery of our genre. Now, rap/hip hop can’t get enough exposure from the media as a scapegoat for what goes wrong in society, rap was better off in the underground and sub-pop arena where WE as BLACK people and other races that appreciated our music knew exactly what it was about and how to deal and appreciate it.
      No wonder real rap is failing on the market and the soulja boy rubbish is making head way …… its because the little white kids find that it’s a lot easier to comprehend over or rather the REAL lyrical, storytelling, party-moving, rhythmic-flow stuff that rap/hip hop really is.

      ONE YOURSELF BWAY,

      YOU ARE TO BLAME TOO ….

      • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

        out of all the ridiculously moronic posts on here, which often range in the 90th percentile, this is possibly the most retarded. ah huh, yup.

        • Around and Around

          Agree, completely with thoreauly77.

          This youngster was probably still in pampers through the early 90′s.
          -Ice-T
          -NWA
          -Cube
          -Pac
          -Snoop
          &
          -C. Dolores Tucker (Mother Fucker?)

          Nooooo none of these people brought ‘violence’ of Hip Hop to the fore in the media througout the 90′s. Obviously the M.S. media first jumped on hip hop “violence” from Em. Obvious only to a 18 yr old.

  • stoneyisland

    BOL, I know you not cracking on ANYBODY about their weight, hell you aint weigh 200 pounds since kindergarten you fat fuck. America is the fattest country in the world so even if Em does weigh 200 he isnt grossly obese say like BOL or Big Pun.

  • Diggy

    Yeah, to follow up on what stoneyisland said…you’re a fat fuck. You shouldn’t have done that interview with *whoever it was*(i dont remember). I didn’t even know that interview existed until XXL did their love/hate internet version. Then they had to shoot you at a funny angle so we wouldn’t see how much of a fat ass you are.
    Go lose some god damn weight Bol…it’s disgusting.
    Biggest loser is a good show. Get some inspiration.

  • bongolock

    what about u bol? you were lookin rather corpulent in that video. take care of yourself homie. heart disease & hbp aint no joke

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka Rebel Of Society

    too much partying, drugging, and fucking disease ladden broads who contracted the time-released diseases via weave glue and tainted thongs…….

  • smackaniggaqwik

    Bol your a fucking fat ffaggot, and if i ever saw you in person nigga, i would beat you silly witha bottle of slim fast and some nutregina joints, Fat ass lazy ass nigga

  • http://xxlmagazine.com Cal

    Bol’s messin with me. Did dude just say “AS a fan he hopes Em gets better?” I can’t believe that amidst all the past bloggs that clearly expressed you burying of eminem. Simply said you constantly state that he’s a hasbeen man.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=18166 Marcdog from dA D

    EMINEM IS THE BEST RAPPER THAT EVER COME OUT

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  • sweety

    Wow,even if every body didnt have something nice to say yall have posted some of the most kind comments on the matter of Eminem.You wouldnt beilve some of the evil stuff that people have said.I always got love for xxl THE best hiphop magazine out.Get well soon em.