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Black people, who needs ’em?

The Hillary Clinton campaign keeps managing to run afoul of the black community, but what if that’s the whole point?

Take for example this hilarious incident the other day, when Bill Clinton kept falling asleep during a service to commemorate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day at one of these black churches. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bill did that shit on purpose.

On the one hand, of course a lot of black people are gonna see that and be like, “See, this is proof Bill Clinton doesn’t give a shit about black people. Never mind that shit about him being the first black president. I’m voting for Barack Obama.”

But on the other hand, I imagine a lot of cracka-ass crackas and black folks with a proclivity to hate on shit (such as myself), will only applaud the former president – not only because the shit was fucking hilarious, but because, fuck having to go to a black church on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

So perhaps this was a subtle nod to his cracka-ass cracka constituency that Bill Clinton is not going for black people’s okey doke any more today than he was back in 1992, when he had to throw Sista Souljah under the bus.

Not convinced yet? Well, there was a similar such incident a couple of weeks ago, which is when I first realized what was going on here.

Remember when Hillary Clinton said that shit about how, for all of MLK’s marching out in the street and getting sprayed with a water hose, black people wouldn’t have civil rights today if it wasn’t for Lyndon Johnson?

In the past couple of weeks, there’s been a lot of back and forth as to whether or not this is true. The PC community is suggesting that it isn’t, which of course leads me to want to side with Hillary Clinton. But I’m gonna go ahead and take the nuanced position that both Martin Luther King, Jr. and Lyndon Johnson played an important role in winning civil rights for black people.

I know, I’m smart like that.

Either way, I wondered why Hillary would mention some shit like that while she’s in the midst of running for president against the first black man who was lightskinted enough to be taken seriously. Then she sent her husband of all people out to conduct damage control, and it became clear to me that this was all part of her plan. Er, probably his.

I didn’t hear any of this myself, because if I had that much free time on my hands I’d probably pick up a nasty drug habit or something, but apparently Bill Clinton did the ol’ Don Imus Apology Tour, first on the Al Sharpton radio program and then on the Michael Baisden show, and all it consisted of was angry-ass black people calling up and going off on him.

Now, you’d have to think that Bill knew that this would happen, if not because it occurred to him that these are the type of people who would listen to Al Sharpton on the radio, then because Don Imus got suckered into going on there last year and the same shit happened. As stage-managed as the political process is these days, at the very least he could have opted not to take call-in questions.

So my guess is that Bill Clinton went on those shows on purpose, hoping some shit like that would happen. And the dumbasses who listen to those shows, who – let’s face it – probably aren’t the most strategically savvy people in the world (to put it nicely), played right into it.

Now they can play clips from these appearances on shows cracka-ass crackas listen to (I’m not gonna like, that’s where I heard about this shit), with the tacit message here being: If Hillary Clinton doesn’t win this shit, these are the kind of people who could end up with access to the president.

Brilliant, I have to admit. Way more complex than just finding some black bogeyman and stringing him up in front of a crowd of cracka-ass crackas, the way they used to. Which is not to say that I condone that sort of thing, or that I support Hillary Clinton. I’m just saying.

I remember last year, when the polls would show that Hillary was beating Obama in the black vote, I just assumed that a lot of black people must still be nostalgic for the Clinton era. But then, as it began to get closer to the election, none of the black people I would speak with personally could conjugate the verb be were riding with Hillary.

Whether this was a matter of Hillary finding a way to juice the polls (you see how she got all of these black churches in her pocket), or black people gradually warming to Barack Obama and realizing he could win, I’m not sure. Either way, I think it’s obvious by now Hillary Clinton is not gonna win a majority of the black vote.

Could it be, then, that Hillary Clinton figured that, if she can’t win the black vote, she might as well focus on turning cracka-ass crackas against Barack Obama? I’m assuming this is the case. What do you fruits think?

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