Back For The First Time…
Being a cynical rap music critic is played out. This year I will only look to highlight what I hope to be the best developments to look forward to in rap music and Hip-Hop in general. The glass is no longer half-empty, it’s now half-full. And what is it filled with? Champale bitches! I’m coming back to this bitch drunk as a motherfucker. The fact that it is noon and I’m into my second round looks like a good sign to me that 2008 will be filled with as many inane drops as last year. Here’s some of the good shit in 2008 that I am looking for inside of rap music…
*takes a sip, then let’s out that aaaaaah satisfaction sound*
The ‘Nigger’ album from NaS – Finally someone tells white that they were the world’s first niggers. Word to Zwarte Piet. That’s Black Pete for all of you readers that don’t speak Dutch.
Carter 3 pushed back to 2009 – Lil’ Wang takes some time away from the booth to work on his Hollywood career. Relax, he still gets six more XXL covers this year for you fags to roll your meat up to.
No rapper arrests – This would prah’lee mean that the U.S. government was dissolved and we were all living in anarchy, so maybe not so much. How about no arrests other than hyphy and fast rap rappers?
The return of Lil’ Kim – Of all the sub-genres within rap music I feel like Ho Rap or Prosti-Rhymes suffered the most in 2007. I feel like Lil’ Kim can bring that Donna Summer streetwalker swagger back for all the females to emulate. I also see a nice little cross promotional platform available with Valtrex due to the rise in genital herpes.
Detox – Yeah, sho’ ya’ right.
I hope you clown’s new years helped you get some focus for 2008. I’m sure there’ll be another Jena 6 story or two this year for us to discuss. Definitely some police shootings(you know how they do!?!) and maybe even the passing of a rapper or two from natural causes. Motherfuckers are getting old and shit, word to Oscar Peterson.
No matter what happens I’m sure we’ll have some fun during the ride.
*takes another sip, then let’s out that aaaaaah satisfaction sound*