The Upcoming Rapper Recession…

Good news party people, Roc—A-Fella Records was just playing possum. They about to release a compilation with the greatest hits you never heard from Memphis Bleek, Amil and Christion. Fire bitches, straight fire.

Someone on one of these threads coined the phrase ‘Rapper Recesssion’. I thought that was pretty astute coming from the pool of degenerates that typically hangs out here at XXLmag dot com. The statement might be truer than most of us want to believe too. If the United States economy has a significant downturn like all the financial smartypants people are projecting then you can definitely kiss that Only Built For Cuban Links 2 album to the wind. No one is going to want to take a chance on some old rappers looking to relive their glory days.

How many of you went to see that movie called the ‘Bucket List’? My point, exactly.

So if dark days are ahead for the U.S. economy what the hell will some of these rappers do to make ends meet? Please don’t say sell drugs. The only hustling that most of these rappers really know about is the kind where a man sells his ass to another man.

True story.

What did your boy Rick Ross say? “Every day I’m hustling”?!? Extra [ll] to that song and everyone who rhymed on the remix from now on. So aside from becoming a prostitute which I am sure that some rappers will fall into head over heels[ll], I thought we could take a look at some of the professions where rappers might find the transition a little easier into something that keeps them lockstep with their lyrics.

Grocery store checkout clerk – Not the dude on the register, since most rappers suck with handling money, but the cat that asks “paper or plastic”. How many times have rappers talked about their brown paper bags? Plus it’s almost like asking someone whether they want the red top or the blue top.

Sanitation department crewmember – This should keep rappers busy as they put all that crunk snap crap that has been filling the airwaves for the last several years in a garbage truck.

Laundry room attendant – Fools always talking about how they work with pounds so lets see them clean a few pounds of stanky drawls.

Military service – How many times have you hears rappers talk about busting gats and shit? Too many to count. It’s time to make all these shooters show and prove. Send these fucks to Iraq or Afghanistan and tell them to keep it gansgta with some a-rabs that live in caves and haven’t showered in years. Dudes will come back stateside rhyming like the Fresh Prince instead of Frank White.

English teacher – KanYe West was invited to some college to give a commencement speech or some shit. The irony is that the college dropout is caking up way more than 99.99% of the fools with degrees. Soulja Boy and Lil’ Wang both dropped out of grade school, so maybe they could give back to the community by returning to school to become English teachers. Real schools might be too strict with their accreditation requirements so instead these fools could teach one of those English as second language classes that all the immigrantes go to.

One way or the other rappers better get their Plan B’s popping, and I’m not even talking about the abortion pills.

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  • Bob

    woohoo im first!
    its the best day of my life!

  • moresickaMC

    lol….good article and question. I really do wonder what these washed up rappers do after the good ol’ days r over? U know 3/4 of them haven’t invested in sh*t and thats why they’re practically asking their fans for handouts after they spent their life’s earnings on jewellery(cough ghostface).

    Dudes stay hating on Jigga…but look what he made of his career. All he needs now is a beach chair. Invest rappers(yes with that 1st check)

  • Ali

    yea 4 real yall, either step ur game up or let tha job hunt begin

  • N.O. 4 life

    damn bruh wyou made that shit about wayne dropping out up…he made straight A’s in school…and then went to college…

    and this was a weak post…you are better than this…you are about as good as Eli Manning

    • akaTheRealist

      I ain’t do my homework yet, but how Wayne gon’ make Straight As in School and go to college if he was signed to Cash Money at 11 or 12 and started droppin’ albums about 2 years later? Common Sense?
      btw BXS, I believe Nas said something about a, “Rapping Recession” in the XXL out now, if I’m not mistaken.

    • Jersey Giant

      Fuck you bout that Eli shit. We bout to win the Super Bowl(not Bol) bitch. The New Jersey Giants Bitch.

  • DJ Daddy Mack


  • BookmZZ

    “yall can bullshit wit rap if u want mufuckas”
    (Jay-Z Been told em)LOL

  • Billy X. Sunday

    explain this to me N.O.,

    if ‘Get It How U Live’ dropped in 1997 and Wang was 18 then, how is he not damn near thirty years old now?

    you better get a job holmes.

  • Crocker

    “Good news party people, Roc—A-Fella Records was just playing possum. They about to release a compilation with the greatest hits you never heard from Memphis Bleek, Amil and Christion. Fire bitches, straight fire.”

    Wow. Well…..guess now I’m put in my favorite Lil’ Zane album and reminisce.


    Good post and good points. But Solja Fag shouldnt be an english teacher. Or else well have mexican and haitian immagrants who can only say “Na I me youuuuuu”. Feel me?

  • thoreauly77

    billy- i agree with most of this post, however, the ESL classes that a lot of kids go to are not solely for immigrant kids; often times they are kids with language acquisition issues that stem from learning disabilities. either way, no one should ever hope that a rapper should help them with language acquisition.

  • chif

    i finally made it up on a comment board
    and fuck most rappers
    im rich bitch, rapping is a hobby
    thats just for smoke n whiskey money
    pop music rules the world!!

  • I RUN THIS..

    ..lmao..imagine Lil’ Wayne tryin2 teach kidz how2 ARTICULATE wordz wud b killa..

  • latino heat

    that shit was hilarious, and so true. but i thought lil wayne was about 13 or 14 when ‘get it how u live’ dropped. and when is that roc-a-fella’s greatest hits droppin? that shit is gonna be FIRE SON!!!!

  • don’t say it

    what will your corny ass do when rap is no longer important. this jig has no writing skills so that is out of the question you gonna have to go back to mcdonalds. bitch ass nigga

  • fastflipper

    who want to buy a bleek/amil and oither sno names of the roc….

    and eys they all needs a other job…this wack shit of busting guns and sell Ks like is over.

    and anyway all the rappers snitch

  • mf doom

    i no this is nothing to do wid the post but

    y does no1 give masta killa the respect for dropin a near classic album with his 1st(no said date)and the a great album the next time(made in brooklyn) the only thing wrong with it being all the crap about allah on 1 of the song that lets it down 4 me anyway.people gives raekwon respect for the ob4cl when it was all the rest of the wu on that album that made it a classic!then he cant even drop a album to go wood after that.people say more about the Gza/Genius he drop a classic then not droped a good damn thing after that!the only members of the clan that have droped more then 1 great/v good album are methodman(tical,blackout,4.21 the day after)ghostface(everything apart from bulletproof wallet)the late great ODB. and masta killa!

    what does any1 think of this???

  • hmm

    Funny story, on 106th and Park yesterday (1/30/07), Terrence and Rocsi told everybody that Soulja Boy gets good grades…LMAO…they were referring to the end of his new video when he gets all F’s on his report card and asks the teacher to throw some D’s on it…how’s that for keepin’ it real? And right afterward Terrence and Rocsi claimed Soulja Boy was joking…Is it better for the youth to believe Soulja Boy was a good student and hopefully aspire to that, or for them to know the truth? What do y’all think?

  • makandal01

    no more bling bling the mc donald workers
    gonna b the new ballers in nyc trust me..


    all the new jams you need

    especially aspektz – mr thoro

    Nalede is porlly the illest fuckin rapper in the game

    but noboduy respects hm because he doesnt ahve a fat chain? and dumb hos in his video SNOOP DOGG – BUBBLING SOULJA BOY – CRANK DAT BOW WOW OMARION – HEY BABY CHRIS BROWN – WITH YOU ASPEKTZ – MR THORO – Timbaland ft Keri Hilson & Nicole Scherzinger – Scream – Webbie FT Lil Phat and Lil Boosie – Independent – Unk ft Baby D – Hit the Dance Floor – Erykah Badu – Honey kanye west – flashing lights – felli fel diddy akon ludacris lil jon pop it off boyz – crank dat batman ciara lil jon – thats right alicia keys – like youll never see me again hurricane chris ft boxie – playas rock

    people need to get up on KIDZ IN THE HELL

    theyre changing this fuckin game whether you like it or not

    respect that

  • latino heat

    gotta co-sign damn near everything on the mf doom comment. no said date was horribly slept on. but what do u expect when u drop on Nature Sounds? wasn’t really feeling made in brookly, i’ll go back and re-listen. maybe i missed something the 1st time.

    • victor vaugh

      yeah thats a good point i hope u brings a 3rd album out soon tho,or even a album wid the kids that he has rapping on the albums thats some good shit 4 kids

  • King Geedorah

    i got another quistion for u all.Y does raekwons ob4cl get called a rae album even tho its a ghost album to!but if u say method man albums they all leave out blackout! like just cause Redmans in it its not a mef album.

    this is the last Question to does anyone no where i can get the both KMD albums

  • BlogXilla – Winner of Best New Blog

    I can see soulja boy bagging groceries most def!! Great Joint right here.

  • Maddolies


    This Is Sum Strait Garbage Im Reading.. Step Ur Blog Game Up Nikka!

  • k0nfidence

    oh look, billy x. is trying to be funny…*sigh*

  • RTK

    This is a great article, props…

  • ddubbzz

    Can you bloggers get on your job and blog. God damn. I’m at work, and got SHIT to do. I used to come to this site all the fucking time, when yall had new blogs up almost every day…now it’s like once a week and shit…GET ON YOUR FUCKING JOB NIGGA