Not that I sit around and think about shit like this, but the other day it occurred to me that 2007 has been one hell of a year for suspect rappers getting outed, what with the likes of Pastor Ma$e, Lil’ Cease, and Lil’ Wayne getting caught cruising for tranny hookers, giving another guy the whirly bird, and kissing another man on the lips. And there’s probably a few I’m forgetting at this point. (It’s not like I keep a list in my wallet.) But with it being so close to the end of the year, I figured we probably couldn’t expect any more such incidents before January 1st.
Clearly, I’d spoken too soon! In fact, I was thinking about doing a big year-end story on this trend a couple of weeks ago, and now I’m glad I didn’t.
Just yesterday, a video surfaced of some rough-looking dyke – think Snoop from the Wire, but maybe even scarier; definitely more obnoxious – claiming that she used to kick it with Remy Ma, and that Remy Ma ate her box. But now Remy Ma doesn’t have time for this… um, girl anymore, which is presumably why she’s putting Remy on blast. You can tell the two of them at least know one another, because the girl calls Remy on her cell and Remy picks up like, “What up, shorty?” But then Remy hangs up before they can get into any discussion of box-eating.
Check the video for yourself: Remy Ma Ex Lover Speaks!!! [YouTube]
Which was especially bad timing for me, since I had just revealed on my own site that, given a choice between Remy Ma and Lil’ Kim, with whom she supposedly has beef, I would bang Remy Ma. And this was like, a mere matter of hours before this video hit the Internets. If I didn’t have to work a rare morning shift at the BGM yesterday (hence blogging about Ike Turner at the ass crack of dawn), I would’ve known better.
I’m not sure whether or not (theoretically) banging a broad who’s obviously a dyke could be construed as teh ghey, but nullus anyway, just in case. Still, having thought long and hard about this, I’m gonna stand by my decision to bang Remy Ma over Lil’ Kim, for three reasons.
1) A real man doesn’t just change his opinion on shit based on what other people think.
2) Yeah, Remy Ma likes other girls, but I don’t buy for a minute that pretty much all women don’t like other women. How couldn’t they? If I was a girl, I would almost certainly be attracted to other women. Nullus again, just in case.
3) For what it’s worth, Remy Ma, dyke-ish though she may be, doesn’t purposely present herself to the world as a butch lesbian. She may have a masculine build and be scarier in some ways than most men, but it’s not like it’s her goal to look like a carpet muncher. And I’ll admit that most black women tend to activate my fight or flight instinct. Ten-plus years working in the service industry will do that to you.
What do you fruits think? Remy Ma is obviously a dyke, right? But what if a girl was obviously a dyke, but had an especially nice body. Would it be kinda teh ghey to have sex with her? Would you do it anyway? Like, what if Foxy Brown wasn’t clearly batshit and also pretty widely known to suffer from personal hygiene issues. Would you turn down some quality time with those cans because you knew she spent a lot of time with her face buried in another woman’s crotch? I’d probably go for it anyway, but you ‘bags know one of my lifetime goals is to make it with a deaf broad.