Anyone else notice there was never a new Nelly album this year?

Not that I check for Nelly like that, but I remember reading at MTV that there was gonna be a song on it addressing the Don Imus incident, and also a song with Chuck D from Public Enemy (maybe this was the song), and I'll admit I was kinda interested in hearing what Nelly might have to say. You fruits know how I feed on contentious race issues.

The single from the album, which was supposed to be called Brass Nuckles, was released earlier this year, and I'd imagine I was subjected to it more than most people, since I live here in Nelly's home town of St. Louis. Which was especially unfortunate, because that song was fucking gay as shit. It flipped a sample from that one KC & Jo-Jo record that white people used to like back in the late '90s.

As far as why the single never caught on, which I'm assuming is why the album has been pushed back, your guess is as good as mine. Like I said, I didn't like it very much at all, but I hardly liked anything the guy ever did - except for the "Tip Drill" video.

If I had to guess, I'd say Nelly is headed back into the studio to record something along the lines of that country song from Suit - pretty much the only album we ever sold back when I used to work at K-Mart. That song was way bigger than any rap song Nelly has put out since forever, so he might just want to consider a full-on career as a country singer at this point.

Another album that was pushed back for more or less the same reason (i.e. nobody liked the single and probably nobody would have bought it) was Mike Jones' The American Dream, or whatever it was called. If his label felt like he had any talent at all, they probably would have sent him back in the studio as well. Instead, they gave away copies of the album for free with DVDs of some Master P-style hood movie he put out.

And I think they licensed it to be shown on BET, so they maybe they'll even recoup. But that might be pretty much it for Mike Jones' career, not to mention that entire Houston rap movement from a couple of years ago. You'll recall that that second Chamillionaire album also underperformed, and even that first Slim Thug album - which was mostly produced by the Neptunes - didn't sell very well. As far as Paul Wall is concerned... I mean, come on.

There's an obvious connection between Mike Jones and the third group I'd like to discuss today, but I'm gonna have to tread lightly, in light of recent events - even though this actually occurred to me a while ago. If your self-esteem relies on nobody saying anything negative about rappers on the Internets, you might want to call it a wrap for the day and check back tomorrow.

Listening to Pimp C's guest rap on a track on T.I.'s King last year (some crap about getting brain in a turning lane) it occurred to me that Pimp C was obviously the progenitor of that Mike Jones style of rap and that this was roughly the extent of his influence on hip-hop. Kinda like how 2Pac begat Master P, except on a much smaller scale. To this day, I'll maintain that, like Mike Jones, Pimp C was only ever a marginal figure in this modern age, let alone the entire history of hip-hop.


Yeah, UGK had somewhat of a hit with that song "International Players Anthem," but if you notice, even it was produced by Three Six Mafia, and it works the exact same formula as their hit from a couple of years ago, "Stay Fly." Meanwhile, Three Six Mafia themselves have yet to come up with a hit of their own to capitalize on the hype generated by them winning an Oscar, and getting their own reality series on MTV and what have you.

I'm sure they would never cop to this if you put it to them in an interview or whatever, but if the guys from Three Six Mafia knew that Pimp C would be dead in a mere matter of months anyway, and that their own verse from "International Player's Anthem" would be excised in favor of the year's umpteenth gay-ass non-rappin' guest verse from Andre 3000, and that this might be the only good idea they'll ever have again ever, they probably would have saved that track for themselves. I'm just saying.

As it is, I'm assuming that their follow-up to Most Known Unknown has suffered the same fate as the Nelly album and the Mike Jones album. Here's hoping, for their sake, there's some third, heretofore unsampled Willie Hutch record they can loop up and shout bullshit over.