Life After Curtis (And Kanye!)

It was the biggest story of the year. And for the first time, in his career, Curtis took an L. So what has he done since then? Basically show after European show, stacking his Euros in places we can’t even pronounce. But now that dude is back home (or will be shortly) it’s time for the bully of the rap block to take his spot back. Take two!

No there’s no retirement, sohh sohh chumps. And that homemade allshitshop vid doesn’t count either. Neither does being part of the Team Lil Kim comeback. It’s time for Curtis and his three horsemen to resurrect the mixtape scene and murder it like they did in the first place. It’s the only way anyone other than their true fans are gonna regard G-Unit in the same super-high standing that they once had.

I remember the days when Lloyd Banks’ punch lines would give you goose bumps. When Yayo’s energy got you ready to smack your neighbor just for leaving his morning newspaper too close to your door. When Buck was loyal and brought the wild unpredictable southern swagger and 50 had endless hooks, melodies, and 8 bar couplets of destruction.

Here’s an idea: Why not hit the Kanye issue head on? Take all the instrumentals from Graduation and make a mixtape. Call it Graduation Gift. Basically in one of those shit-talking intros, Fif can acknowledge that Mr. Polo won the battle but not the war. That nobody remembers Joe Frazier beat Ali in the first fight. That Kanye cheated cause not only is he a rapper, he’s a producer. And that of course, they’re gonna give him more Grammy’s than Brooke Shields and Webster’s escort but he’s still a Pop tart.

Then the Southside gang and the Tennessee titan can rip through each track one by one. Like on the early mixtapes, make each song theirs. Can you imagine the nonsense Fif would come up with for “Drunk and Hot Girls”? Yayo admitting what we all know that Fif’s a Champion in his eyes. And let’s give chubby cheeks Banks a crack at the Flashing Lights instrumental and see if we can’t wake the beast up.

Might as well have fun with this since niggas took the 9-11 bait. A hot mixtape would make fans remember why they fell in love with the Unit in the first place. It’s just a lil advice. Take it or leave it. But please believe it. I’ve been known to have a genius moment or two.

Sidebar: Maybe I’m just tight cause I didn’t get the cool G-Unit Xmas card and official best of mixtape collection in the mail. Musta been an oversight. Yeah, right. Ha!