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The Jive Turkeys of Hip-Hop…

Was there ever a time when a music genre was more spectacle than art? On the whole Hip-Hop has never been more popular than it is now, but the flip side is that for all the wrong reasons some people are connecting to rap.

The Bill O’Reillys and the congressional cowards have used Hip-Hop as a mainstream media codename for young Black teenagers (no Time To Make The Dough Nutz) . Speaking of Cam’Ron and not Kamron, 2007 found the DipSet founder hustling backwards on several fronts. Grand Hustle took several steps backwards with the indictments of T.I. and DJ Drama, and the greatest rapper alive has had more magazine covers than hit songs in his career.

Is this what Hip-Hop has become? A bastion for unpardonable jive turkeys? Let’s take a look at the moments in 2007 that I am thankful for, because without them I wouldn’t have a job.

DJ Drama’s arrest for copywrite infringement – The music business blatantly cannibalizes itself by attacking its unofficial promotional department. After an intense investigation, the authorities raid the production offices of the DJ with automatic machine gun armored officers in anticipation of DJ Drama resisting arrest by throwing blanks CD’s!?!

Don Imus – Imus learned the words ‘nappy headed hos’ by listening to Hip-Hop. Who? He can’t remember who. Isn’t Hip-Hop someone’s name?

Cam’Ron – In a desperate attempt to divert attention away from the fact that he was siphoning away money from the Diplomats movement Cam’Ron tried to build up his business off the backsweat of 50 Cent’s popularity. At a certain point you have to create more good music than controversy.

KanYe West – The Can’t Tell Me Nothin’ Mixtape was 2007’s best and it portended of the success for KanYe that was to follow with his third studio album ‘Graduation’.

The Government – Forget that the president lied to the American people about the war in Iraq, forget about the fact that people’s private information is up for sale to the highest bidding corporate entity. These cowards have decided to attack rap music as if it were being produced by Al Queda. Well, in the case of DJ Khaled I’m not so sure.

Bill O’Reilly – Does anyone remember Morton Downey Jr.? What about Rush Limbaugh? These shitbag mouthpieces come and go, but the ill feelings they manifest always remain. O’Reilly was only one step from implosion just a minute ago, but since Rush Limbaugh is still an out of the box pill addict they’ve kept Bill around to keep the people confused.

White Hip-Hop fans – What does the Wu Tang clan pay their car notes with? White Hip-Hop fans’ money. The same people that pay Fifty Cent’s mansion mortgage also. Without white Hip-Hop fans we would have no audience for the (white) Rapper Show. You see the ratings on that Salt and Pepa show?

T.I. – Damn son. This dude had it all in front of him. He was on his way to picking up a worthless BET award and promoting his co-starring role in a ‘hood classic movie. Damn.

2007’s biggest events in Hip-Hop had almost nothing to do with music. I pray that 2008 goes in even harder or else I may have to start writing about college football.

USC > Ohio State.

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