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I Apologize To The Readers Of XXL…

I thought that King magazine was Harris Publications answer to Vibe magazine as far as a lifestyle barometer for the urban experience. I was dead wrong. Yeah, sure King mag is edgier and more street oriented than Vibe will ever be, but I never thought that King would resemble a soft pr0n Black Beat. That can’t continue with all the creative people that Harris has at their disposal. I’d like to see King mag push FHM and Maxim out of the box. Nevermind the fact that those two publications have a budget that dwarfs King, but in terms of talented information brokers King takes the cake.

King needs to bring back the features with urban entrepreneurs. Not just these rap music fucks, but urban Hollywood’s movers and shakers. Discuss the art of making a movie deal in the ‘new’ economy. Explain the differences between major and independent studios. Discuss that real shit. King should be highlighting the folks that are caking up outside of entertainment as well.

A shitload of dollars gets filtered through the urban landscape on everything from clothing and cars to more perishable items like food and beverages. I peeped a gang of liquor ads in King but I didn’t spot a section that reviewed these items. If you are going to talk that lifestyle shit then you need to represent it to the fullest. A higher lifestyle isn’t just about the environment you create outside of your body, but especially the environment that exists within your framework.

King brings a ton of sexy photos of the latest harlot du jour, but little info of the overall benefits of a healthy sex life. Casual sex is the bomb and all, but we need to have a conscience if we want to keep this shit rocking into our sixties and seventies. Playboy magazine does this for their readership. King mag can do the same and more. There was a huge news item this year about bootleg condoms being sold in the ‘hood. Did King mag run a feature on this story? King mag staff, you got to do better (no Whack Entertainment Television).

I understand that my employers at Harris also produce King magazine and this isn’t a case of the dog biting the hand that feeds it. If this were another magazine that wasn’t under the same banner then I wouldn’t give a shit, but I see a chance for King to fill a lane that savvy readers and consumers are without right now.

Imagine if Black Enterprise and Playboy and motherfuckin XXL had an orgy and that unholy union produced a baby? King magazine could be that baby. It starts at the top first. It’s time too give the King reader more than they bargained for. Yeah they get a monster fuckin’ discount already with a yearly subscription costing only $12 bucks, but its time to make King that magazine that motherfuckers can’t live without.

If you need to hire me to write some shit holler at the kid y’all know where to find me. I don’t want to purchase another King mag and see any more lackluster, lazy writing. Y’all folks need to come harder.

Pause [ll] to that last sentence.

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