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BirdBrain: 5-Star Loser…

You already know I was gonna go in on this story about BirdBrain getting arrested in Tennessee. Everything that has become comical about rap music in a bad way is embodied in the web video series Baby made called ‘Five Star Stunna’. Watch that shit, and tell me if you can fuck with the nigga after that. Not only is that shit ridiculous, but it’s all a lie. Baby says he only likes red cars while the camera focuses on a white SUV. Baby says he doesn’t fuck with old cars, and the camera features a classic convertible. Yeah, I know it’s all entertainment, but what happened to good entertainment?

I love the video that shows a darkened bedroom with stacks of fake cash placed in a child’s crib. I wonder if that’s where Baby makes Lil’ Wayne sleep? The scene is hilarious as BirdBrain walks on top of money strewn about the floor and even shows us where he has made a hole in the wall of his apartment in order to stash more cash. Which he reminds us that he has paid taxes on. The shit is hilarious because he is totally opposite what a smart money manager would do.

Cash rules everything around all of us because we don’t have any. People with money think about the ways to which they can keep their money and accrue more of it. Do you think Donald Trump walks on top of dollar bills? When Donald Trump walks on top of anything he owns it is his own real estate property. I don’t even think Donald Trump keeps cash in his wallet. I don’t even think he carries a wallet. If BirdBrain wanted to show me some official stunna shit he should have shot a video in an old white Jewish accountant’s office going over his portfolio of investments. If BirdBrain said he owned stock in Google, that would be a Five Star Stunna move. Stuffing cash in a hole in his apartment’s wall (technically not even HIS wall) is why I call him BirdBrain.

The news just came in today that Cash Money Records doesn’t have the cash to sign Tha Dogg Pound artists Daz and Kurupt. How much do you need to put those two has beens under contract? That way you would also get some halfway decent ghostwriters for Lil’ Wayne. I knew that Cash Money was out of cash when these dudes got pinched for holding a pound of weed. You mean to tell me that these dudes don’t inspire enough loyalty from their entourage for someone to take the weight? They can’t even afford their weedcarriers. Cash Money is on the ropes right now.

If Lil’ Wayne doesn’t put in major work next year with his new album then Cash Money Records will find themselves in the same place that No Limit Records is. Just another worthless New Orleans music label. Are these dudes still from New Orleans anyhoo? BirdBrain lives in Miami and Lil’ Wayne is away at school in Houston.

Damn C.M.B., y’all stay L.A.D. That’s losing all day.

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