A Brief Check-In

I have a love/hate relationship with Hip Hop right now. I’m sure a lot of you can relate. I mean, “I Used To Love H.E.R.” is one of the greatest songs ever made, but I never really looked at Hip Hop as a female. Mainly because most of the rappers were dudes, so naturally I found it quite difficult to personify Hip Hop as a girl.

If anything, I looked at it as an older male cousin. You know, the one who taught you to act confident around girls, and also took you to your first strip club. The one you used to idolize because he had all the fresh Nike’s and Starter jackets, but later saw as a frivolous spender who stayed fresh but struggled to pay their bills. The one who had the tightest car in the neighborhood, but the dirtiest crib. The one who ate out every night, but had nothing in the fridge…I think you’re getting my drift.

Anyways, I guess I’m saying all of that to say that I’m kinda tired of Hip Hop right now. He needs to get out of the streets and go back home for a minute. No, I’m not saying go back to New York (although it does seem like its migrating back East). I’m saying go back home and listen to some his father’s old jazz and soul records and maybe a listen to some of his mother’s gospel records. Yeah, visit the crib and get a nice home cooked meal and stop eating that fast food garbage. After all, you are what you eat.

Hip Hop needs some pussy too, frankly. I said it before (in a blogsphere far away from here) and it still applies. Hip Hop should cut back on the strip club and night club visits and go where all the real women are at, church and the grocery store. Invite them around the crib and talk for a little bit. Hip Hop has more than enough food and beverage endorsements, so dinner shouldn’t be a problem. Shit, try the library too. That way, even if you don’t get any women, you at least walk out with some knowledge in the process.

Oh yeah, where are you wives and girlfriends at Hip Hop. No, no, no, I know where your hoes and strippers are, I asked about your wives and girlfriends. Seems like all the girls you used to mess with either went to Hollywood or to jail. Are you beating them? Are you cheating on them with those R&B chicks? You chasing them white girls?

Sorry ya’ll. I don’t like to complain about shit. I’m more of an options and results type person. Just had to get that out of system. Holla at ya’ll tommorow. I got an album that you should be listening to right now, that you probably don’t even know came out. Peace.

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  • #her:

    I feel you on the love/hate relationship with hip hop, but, on the real, weak post.

    • http://www.myspace.com/writeonpointmagazine janice

      So why don’t you write something then?

      Good post Maurice

  • the best to never do it

    Hip Hop is like your drunk uncle who you thought was fun and make you laugh when you were younger, and now that youre older you see how f*cked up he really is. And now you understand why your mother used to talk bad about him but deep in your heart you still got love for him.

  • D Filla

    This is some real shit. What hit close to home for me was the “older cousin” metaphor. I’m white and jewish, so what initially attracted me to hip-hop was my cousin Brian. He had all these fine girls and shit until he went to jail for possession of meth. He’s only half jewish, which is the only explanation I have for him fucking with that shit. No full jew will touch meth or ice or speed or anything, that’s some regular irish or english white dude shit. I guess the cracker in him kicked the shit out of the kike.

  • P-Matik

    Wow, this was a good read. Real talk. I’m sick of it too for the same reasons.

  • GO AWAY ALREADY!

    Fuck’n PUSSY…How’d you get this job?

  • An Anonymous Artist

    Dude, your from ‘Da South’ so you should know that Hip-Hop is currently infected with the most juvenile and ignorant aspects of the Black community.

    You write for Ozone right? Look at all the gold teethed, dread headed, thugged out ‘Dope Boyz’ with demos claimimg the culture the magazine glorifies. Its a whole industry of wackness looking pull the music down further for a buck. These cats aren’t artist their suspects. They aren’t speaking for the people they are hustlers looking for a quick come up. There is a whole generation of young Black males who are chasing a career in rap even as the ‘Industry’ implodes and the pay day dries up.

    My point is you have a real voice, just make sure your part of the solution and not the problem.

  • http://boardbangers.tv Jaded Entertainment

    I agree, Hip Hop needs a revamp. It feels like people have gotten complacient, and now instead of eating steak and potatoes, we settle for a burger and fries. Now I don’t believe Hip Hop is dead…I do believe it’s in a comma tho. Go back and listen to some good old Jackie Wilson, or some EWA, or even some Led Zepplin, just get in touch with good music, and be inspired again. There are some good things happening in Hip Hop, but there is also room for growth.
    P.S Our group Tha Board Bangers, are in this months issue, and they have a T.V show coming out soon, so look out.

  • these posts are racist

    Great post my brother. I agree with you – very real and refreshing writing.

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    Hip Hop is like your drunk uncle who you thought was fun and make you laugh when you were younger, and now that youre older you see how f*cked up he really is. And now you understand why your mother used to talk bad about him but deep in your heart you still got love for him.
    ^^^^^^^^COSIGN LIKEA MUTHAFUCKA ^^^^^^^^^^^

  • Wish

    You a pretty good columnist. Very refreshing reading the way you explain your stories

  • XXX

    What link is that you gave? It went to a myspace page of a hot chick!

  • rkm

    You hit on something I’ve always thought about. Every other genre of music devotes an inordinate amount of time to songs about REAL relationships and love, but rap rarely goes there, and I think that’s a huge reason why no one listens anymore. That’s the one thing every human can relate to, so it’s gonna bring in the most audience, and it’s also when you get artists at their most vulnerable-which is often their most compelling too. Only problem is it requires some humility to write about those topics, which is lacking right about now (no way any artist whose main marketing mechanism is MySpace has any money, so stop telling me your rich, unless you’re signed I’m pretty sure I make more than you).
    Enjoying your posts, glad to have three good bloggers on this site now (Noz and Jay Smooth as well.)

  • bongolock

    hmmm wonder what album he’s talkin bout?

  • JAYSTONE

    That`s some real shit.keep doing ya thing

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    So me and Jaystone can agree on something. And shout out to TPAR for finally checking in with a co-sign.

    Everybody’s tired of Hip-Hop right now. But that means that something great is still to come. Gotta be patient and contribute while we still can, I guess.

    Garland has those haters!

    ^^GO AWAY ALREADY! says:
    Fuck’n PUSSY…How’d you get this job?

    That means it’s working. Good post.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah

    great parallels, great viewpoint overall, echoed some sentiments i had regarding the current affairs of the genre/culture….