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Is the dream over?

I was having some issues with my computer, so I figured what the fuck. I’ll just cop a new one. I’m big-time like that. I might have to live on lunch meat until the end of the year, but I kinda like lunch meat anyway. And I’ve found a lot of different things you can do with it. Nullus. Plus, there’s only like, what, three months left in the year. That’s nothing!

Only thing is, I got to the store a little bit early, so I either had to wait a while or head back home and try again later. I suppose that’s what I get for waking up before noon. I wasn’t trying to drive through road construction just so I could sit at home and stroke it to on-demand cable pr0n wait for an hour, so I went around the corner to a McDonalds and had breakfast.

The good news? Monopoly is back, and one of the pieces on my hash brown was an instant win piece for a free breakfast sandwich. So I had a pretty substantial breakfast, and I didn’t get that weird feeling in my chest that I get when I eat more than one sandwich in a sitting at McDonalds. I may even be getting healthier in my old age. Sweet!

The bad news? According to a story on the cover of today’s USA Today (I know – it was McDonalds, give me a break), it looks like Barack Obama’s campaign for the Democratic nomination for the ’08 presidential election may have hit a wall.

I know, no one who spends a substantial amount of time reading (rather than, say, watching professional sports) should give a rat’s ass what happens to Barack Obama one way or the other. But whatever. He was, after all, the “hip-hop candidate” in ’08 – the fact that he came of age before there was a such thing as hip-hop, and that he doesn’t listen to hip-hop, and that he was endorsed by Oprah Winfrey, and any number of other issues notwithstanding.

So I guess some new poll numbers have been released, and he isn’t doing any better than he was at the beginning of the summer, this despite the fact that he’s managed to raise way more money than anyone else and stays on the cover of magazines and what have you. He’s still trailing Hillary by something like 20 percentage points, and he’s doing especially bad among old people and people who do jobs that don’t require the capacity for abstract thought – pretty much the two groups of people you need to win an election.

On the other hand, he does seem to do well with wealthy limousine liberal-types, people with several postgraduate degrees, and idealistic college students. Not well in the sense that he’s leading Hillary in any of these categories, but at least he’s not losing by like 50%. One of the guys he’s paying to spin the news for his campaign claims that he’s actually leading among college students, but you just can’t tell, because kids these days prefer cell phones to land lines, which is what they use to conduct those polls.

So he might actually win the young people vote, and you know where that gets you…

But of course none of that’s the real issue. Six weeks from now, one of the Jews over at the New York Times is going to put all of the pieces together and end up winning the Pulitzer. But if you’re a young brother such as myself, almost as obsessed with race as you are with pussy (almost), the shit should have been obvious to you a long time ago. At any rate, I’m gonna go ahead and spell it out for you.

The real reason Barack Obama won’t be elected president next year is because he’s black, and there’s no way a black person could be elected president in this country. White people who vote Democrat may be liberal, but they aren’t that liberal. It’s one thing to let your daughter have sex with a black guy (as if you have any real choice in the matter), but it’s a whole other thing to let a black (in this case, black-ish) guy run the country and, by extention, the entire free world.

This became especially obvious to me when I read that the two groups Hillary is doing especially well with are old people and blue collar workers and the three groups she isn’t doing as well with are rich people, smart people and young people. If I’m not mistaken, the USA Today, which is the most bullshit newspaper possible, may have explained that this was a matter of Hillary being better on the kind of “kitchen table issues” that resonate with people who struggle to put “food on their families,” but come on.

It should be obvious to anyone with the sense god gave two fleas that the real reason Hillary is doing especially well with these groups is because old people and hard hat-types are fucking racist as shit. Rich people and people who are well-educated and college students (i.e. people who are on their way to being well-educated, if not rich) aren’t nearly as racist, because it does kinda take being dumb to be that racist. Unfortunately, there’s still quite a few people in this country who fall into the former group, and they turn out to vote like a motherfucker.

Maybe in the long-run, old racist-ass white people will die off, and white blue collar-types will lose their jobs to Mexicans and begin to be incarcerated at the same rate as black people (i.e. as if it was going out of style). But, for the time being, we’re probably fooling ourselves if we think a black man has a serious shot at being elected president. I mean, even if one did somehow manage to make it through the primaries, there’s still the general election. And when’s the last time even a decent white man managed to win that?

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