Free Isiah Thomas

You guys know I know about as much about the law as I do about hip-hop, but I can't help but wonder any time a guy has got to pay a woman several million dollars on some sexual harassment shit and he didn't even get to have sex with her.

Of course I'm referring to the case of New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas, who was found guilty yesterday of sexual harassing Anucha Browne Sanders, an executive with Madison Square Garden, where the Knicks play. Now MSG has to pay her $11.6 million, though Isiah himself doesn't have to shell out anything, I guess because it was the tIs at MSG who actually fired her.

In fact, I read in the Times today that rather than firing Isiah, the Knicks might keep him on out of spite - this despite the fact that the Knicks during Isiah's tenure have sucked worse than my high school wrestling team. (Nullus.) If this is true, James Dolan, the head tI with the Knicks, should receive some sort of Man Award.

I've got one of those all-in-one printer/scanner/copiers, so I'll print one up myself, if I have to.

No but really, why in the world should someone get $11.6 million just because someone called them a bitch and a ho, possibly without any malicious intent?

You'll recall there was a similar incident a year or so ago when some broad who used to work for The Source won a shiteload of money in a suit against them, because she claimed they were watching some videos of scantily clad women in the offices of a magazine about rap music.

Oh, really?

Given that The Source can hardly afford to pay the bums who write their stories these days, I can't imagine she'll actually end up with anything other than several boxes of cut-out copies of that Made Men album, but who knows. She could make a killing selling them overseas. People in foreign countries do tend to have questionable taste in music.

In both cases, I think it's debatable whether there was any real harassment. I know in the case at MSG, Isiah was claiming he did call her a bitch and a ho, but he didn't mean it the way a white man would mean it if he said it.

Of course Isiah was widely mocked for this line of reasoning, but I wonder if he doesn't have a point. He is, after all, from the ghettos of Chicago. Maybe that's the way men and women there refer to one another. I'm not saying that makes it right or anything. I'm just saying. Maybe he didn't know any better.

Also, there was the fact that a) he wanted to fuck her, and b) Stephon Marbury got lucky with an intern out in the parking lot. Again, I'm wondering what the real tragedy is here.

At the risk of letting you in on more than you need to know about me, suffice to say that I've wanted to fuck my share of co-workers, in the 10 years that I've been flipping burgers. Shit I've probably forgotten about more of them than I can even remember.

Some of them weren't even very good-looking (kinda like Anucha Browne Sanders, no?), but you know how it is at work: you're standing around the same woman for hours on end, eventually you're gonna get a hard-on. That's not disrespect for a woman, that's nature.

Plus, let's face it, Isiah is getting on in years. He probably saw Stephon Marbury getting it on with that one broad, who almost certainly was smokin', and he probably figured: I should at least still be able to pull a broad with a fucked up wig like Anucha Browne Sanders.

Again, I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying.

So you see, there's plenty of reasons to suspect that Isiah Thomas wasn't nearly the nightmare this woman is making him out to be. (Also: just look at him. He seems like a nice guy.) As such, I can't help but think that this case is yet another example of our legal system run amok.

Indeed, if there's a lesson to be learned for us guys, it's a) don't work around women, if you don't have to, and b) if you do, watch your ass. You can't just treat them the way you would another guy. No, that would be equality. Women these days are demanding special treatment, and damn it if they aren't getting it.