All I’m saying is that if you go to the new Foxy Brown website you will be more engaged than the website someone set up to describe the ongoing case in Louisiana. You do the research and then tell me I’m lying. The t.I. lawyers here at Harris issued a new dictum [ll] on putting links and encoded shit up in these blogs so I’m not going to fuck around and get my shit fired now that we are getting close to the time of year that I need my heat to stay on, but you kids are enterprising enough to figure out how the internets work since you are steady stealing music and downloading pr0n video clips.
Foxy Brown’s website has music and a message board. All they need is a photo gallery of some sexy semi-nude Foxy Brown flicks and my ass will be there on the daily. You can even write to Foxy while she is doing her bid. You figure that she don’t have too much else on her plate that she can’t write back. I think this is the boss move that Foxy should have made years ago. Maybe this jail stint is really helping her? How many people do you know that go to jail and simultaneously create a business venture? I mean one that really works?
Everybody I know that goes to jail conceives some crazy cockamamie scheme to make money when they come home. Niggas call you collect from the clink and tell you about their visions of starting a furniture moving company using army ants because in the prison science class they heard that army ants can lift object that are hundreds of pounds greater than their weight. Dudes reason that if you get a million ants that should be enough to move a couch down a flight of stairs. Plus ants don’t have to paid either. Every way they have it figured it’s just “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Money!”
I wonder what type of jail Foxy Brown is in that gives the inmates internets access? It must not be the ladies dorm on Riker’s Island. That shit is fucked the fuck up in there. Even if she’s in some minimum security pen upstate she has it pretty good regardless. I bust my ass to pay this monthly DSL bill, and then you mean to tell me that I could have gotten connected for free if I just bust someone upside the head with my cellphone?
Even if Foxy has almost run through all of her ‘Ain’t No Nigga’ money you can believe that she is still more wealthy than all of the other inmates locked up with her. And because Foxy is a celebrity you know she is chillaxin’ as much as you could imagine for someone in jail. I’m sure she has someone washing her drawls for her as well as someone keeping her wig brushed out and clean. Foxy has finally matured into the businesswoman she always portrayed in her Firm days. I just hope she has someone on the cell block to do her accounting for her. If you listened to Foxy’s crazy insane math calculations on ‘Firm Biz’ then you know she has no business in the ledger books.
Foxy’s website is almost as good as BET’s website. I never go to BET dot com anyhoo, and Foxy’s joint has Foxy in a bikini top. Damn, BET stays losing. You know who stays winning though? Koch motherfucking Records does. These niggas at Koch are like the New England Patriots because they will sign anybody even if you are a problem. Randy Moss is about to have a career year in New England and everyone was saying that he was a problem, a lost cause. I feel like Koch is going to do the same thing for Foxy. By the time Foxy Brown comes home she will be ready to take over some big time publishing company. I hope she buys Ebony Jet. The only thing them niggas is good for is that ‘Beauty of the Week’ photo.