It’s a bitch, girl

I may have mentioned this once before on this site, but last month marked the 10-year anniversary of my career in the service industry and it’s been causing me to do some self-reflecting. Hence yesterday’s post about the samurai showdown in the parking lot at White Castle.

In addition to a few different fast food joints, I’ve worked in my share of retail outlets over the years, and one trend that’s always fascinated me are these black guys who have somehow managed to convince women to buy them a shiteload of clothes and, presumably, some of everything else as well, since you get the idea that none of these guys have a legit, steady source of income.

And I don’t mean pimps, either – guys who find impressionable young girls fresh off the bus from Fenton or whatever and use the powers of persuasion and crystal meth to get them to turn tricks and then hand the money over to them. No, I mean broke motherfuckers who shack up with some 600 pound white woman who’s got a good job working at the hospital or whatever.

It can be difficult not to feel jealous of a brother who’s manage to secure such a situation for himself, even if it means having to bang a disgusting fat woman every once in a while. If you’re a brother such as myself, without much to offer a woman other than my (arguably) stellar blogging ability, you might end up having to bang a fat chick anyway, and the shit might actually cost you money.

Interestingly enough, this may be yet another one of these unfortunate trends that starts out in the black community and eventually spreads to our cracka-ass cracka counterparts, just like AIDS.

The other day, in the Style section of the New York Times, where they run all of their least defensible trend stories, there was a story – written by a guy, I should note – about young (-ish), high-achieving broads who are having a hard time maintaining relationships with men who don’t earn nearly as much money as they do.

As the Times story notes, even though our fathers’ generation managed to maintain the proper income disparity between a man and a woman, that shit’s pretty much over and done with as far as us Gen Y bums are concerned. Which, admittedly, was hardly news to me.

To wit:

For the first time, women in their 20s who work full time in several American cities — New York, Chicago, Boston and Minneapolis — are earning higher wages than men in the same age range, according to a recent analysis of 2005 census data by Andrew Beveridge, a sociology professor at Queens College in New York.

For instance, the median income of women age 21 to 30 in New York who are employed full time was 17 percent higher than that of comparable men.

*takes a five minute break to weep for his manliness*

Now, if you’re a noted racist such as myself, you might be thinking: if you make well into six figures, and you’re not quite 30 (allegedly), how fucking hard can it be to convince a man to be with you? All you’ve got to do is buy him some shit, break him off with some stank, and shut the fuck up.

Of course the Times story isn’t gonna go there, but you get the idea that it’s this last part that’s the real issue. According to several women interviewed for the story, money wasn’t the issue. After all, they’re making more than enough to pay for the both of them. But they complained that the guys didn’t seem suitably motivated or were intimidated by the idea of a woman making more money than them.

Oh, really?

Like I said, maybe I’m just more used to this, being a young black man of questionable redeeming value myself, but why in the fuck should I feel intimidated by a woman who makes more money than I do? If anything, it would be a boost to my ego to know that I could accomplish such a feat. I’d bring it up in conversation as much as possible.

And since I sit around all day reading books, magazines and newspapers anyway, I realize this is not some consequence of women being smarter than men, but rather an overall shift in the economy away from jobs that are suitable for a man, such as manufacturing, in favor of jobs that are only suitable for a woman, like rubbing lotion on and old man’s balls in a hospital.

No, it’s obvious to me that women – even women who are so wealthy that money shouldn’t be an issue one way or the other – just plain don’t like the idea of being with a man who makes less money than they do. I’m not saying womany are gold diggers or anything. I’m just saying, it’s a woman’s bioligical imperative to take a man for all he’s worth, just like it’s a man’s bioligical imperative to score with a woman with a relatively high boob-to-waist ratio.

The problem is that I’m sure that the few men left these days who can secure an income that’s suitable for a man probably have their run of smokin’ hot chicks, especially in the cities mentioned in the Times story. And if you notice, both of the broads pictured in the story are kinda chubby and ethnic-looking and probably not really in their twenties.

Two obvious solutions to this problem would be, a) to fix the economy so a man can make a decent living once more, or b) for these gold-digging beeyotches to get over themselves and learn how to accept a man who might not actually be worth a shit – just like so many men have had to do since the beginning of time.

To be honest with you, I’m actually hoping it’s the latter, but I suppose it wouldn’t work out too bad for me one way or the other. As long as something happens. (Something’s gonna happen, right?)

***

For more on this issue, you might want to check my boy TAN:

NY Times Doles Out Good Advice for Bums Looking for Love and Money; Mostly Money [The Assimilated Negro]

  • paychexx

    its called po pimpin’ im from minnesota i know a lot brothers in this situation. hey that how i got my ps3.

  • http://hiphopisread.blogspot.com Ivan

    LOL…sh*t had me laughing all the way through Bol….1

  • lola

    first you bitches

  • Horus

    I would not be intimidated in the least by a broad making more than me. It sounds like a fine deal…fine, just fine. Her being huge-fat would be a deal breaker though.

    P.S. – There are an amazing amount of typos in this article. You got spell-check?

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Spell check is for fags.

  • Content

    Back to back good post. You know, the price of bacon will rise if they have to start catching pigs in the air.

  • og bobby j

    If a man can be wit a chick who makes more then him…he’s dumb. As far as having a chick that bys you shit….its about time. We been feeding these hoes for years….so if i want some fucking timbs or the new madden….thats the least she could do. Better than that…just by me an dub sack and suck me off….

  • who dat ?

    I got to give it to you. You sure know how to provoke responses. Fucking brilliant post!!

  • http://xxlmag.com houston’s finest

    if that’s how you roll, then that’s cool…..but remember, you have no say to what she does with her money. you can’t get pissed when she tells you no. your not running shit in the house. so if you are ok with tucking your nuts between your legs for some cash, more power to you.

  • ddubbzz

    Wow…this blog must be about my black ass yo. My girl (white) is a little chubby, she’s a accountant CPA and makes great bank yo. She makes 45,000 more then me!!! SHITTTTTTTTTTT! I love that shit yo…and she has no problem with it. She’s paid for almost everything we have in our new condo…including rent. She buys my TREES, ps3, 360…all the above. And I met her in VA, and white girls love nigga’s in VA. But thats my bitch yo…she holds me down on anything i need..cus i’m a pimp….and i make her call me a pimp…cus she’s a white girl in love with the right brother!

  • EReal

    LMFAO. Classic Bol.

    “If you’re a brother such as myself, without much to offer a woman other than my (arguably) stellar blogging ability, you might end up having to bang a fat chick anyway, and the shit might actually cost you money.”
    BAHAHAHAHA!!! TRUTH!

  • 1,2,1,2..anditdon’tstop81

    rubbing lotion on and old man’s balls in a hospital.
    ^^
    WIPE ME DOWN!

  • Hip Hop since 79′/ Raised under Reagan

    , you might end up having to bang a fat chick anyway, and the shit might actually cost you money.
    ^^^^^^^^^

    LOL! Ya, damn skippy.

  • ri067953

    Yo, Bol hit the nail on the head. Men are not the least bit intimidated by a woman who makes more money. However, when a woman starts bitchin’ about the discrepency in income, it will chase a man away. I presume that is what happened in the cases of the women who were interviewed for the Times article. Call it a double standard. Women want equal rights, but when it comes to supporting a man, they can’t deal with out. Although, I don’t support the idea that woman should take care of a man who doesn’t have some sort of hustle or goal in life. Just as a man shouldn’t put up with the same in return. It sucks cuz now that they have the pussy and the money, they got all the power.

  • B.N.W

    LOL! classic bol!!

  • texasleen

    that was good… but what if im not with a fat chick just an ugly one who makes more money???

    spel chk is for school

  • LowEndofDaChi

    Good article man. I understand that the journalists at the times have a duty to report objectively, but I bet it’s safe to say that the decay of some of those relationships could be attributed to the breadwinner gloating to a certain degree. We live in an age where humility isn’t “what’s up”, and women can display arrogance just as well as men can.

  • CHICAGO PaPii

    Yo Bol you must be into some real Voodoo ish cuz you just “exposed” the Game on what me and most of my homies be on: pimpin these undesirable White Women for all they got! Not pimpin in the sense where I slap a chick and tell her to stand on the Track and sleep with some bummy UPS guy for $ bucks, but, pimpin in targeting a low self-esteem White Girl with a good job and benefits whom would “Break Bread with the Fam” for L.O.V.E. Black Girls get mad, and or confused when they see a Good-Looking semi-Black Man with a decent job dating a White Woman, but, what they fail to realize is I am doing to these White Girls what these Black Girls been doing to Black Men for the longest, making them pay for a good Fuck.

  • BossGame

    All you’ve got to do is buy him some shit, break him off with some stank, and shut the fuck up.

    Chuuurch!!!

  • LowEndofDaChi

    Black Girls get mad, and or confused when they see a Good-Looking semi-Black Man with a decent job dating a White Woman, but, what they fail to realize is I am doing to these White Girls what these Black Girls been doing to Black Men for the longest, making them pay for a good Fuck.
    ————————————————-

    LMAO, oh shit son!

    You have to tell me, where in Chicago are you meeting white women? Do you live on the Northside or something? Because the majority of the white women my boys and I encounter when we go out seem intimidated by black guys. I don’t get the same feeling that I get with Hispanic chicks or the sistas, you dig?

  • Nor Cal Mufuckas!!!

    This is why guys get their hutches name tattooed on their arm or some shit.

  • CHICAGO PaPii

    Fam I am from the Southside Wild 100′s of the Chi, but, I do go to school up North on the Northside and it’s Different than the Southside because A).It’s hella White Girls,Spanish chicks and all other type of chicks who really LOVE Black dudes! Unlike the Southside B). They be tryin to Take You out to dinner instead of you takin them out, they don’t be ALL Fat or nothan like that, it’s just Amazing how in the same City that the Northside is sooooo Different than the Southside. I still live out south in the 100′s, it’s just from my school and shit I kick it Out West and up North alot, and Homie, the Females up North and Out West are waaaayyyyy more Better looking and Cooler than Southside girls. You should try em out sometime playboy you might bag a Bad Spanish Chick.

  • jeff

    most chicks i know that are educated and have money are hard to be with. Not because of jealousy, but they tend to act like they are doing you a favor by being with you if you don’t make as much money as them. Like they are being charitable and there’s another guy out there that they should be with, but they chose you. On top of that, educated women who make a lot of money tend to run their yap too much also. There is no bigger turn off than a broad who thinks she has all the answers. dildos were created for broads with money, because unless a brotha wants to milk her…she gon end up lonely.

  • rolantis

    I, as an occasionally broke white guy, am OVER (born) rich girls. I don’t want shit from them materially, and yet there will always come a point in the relationship where they expect you to produce even more than their rich daddy already provides for them. Which is really wack. It’s kinda cute, though, that fat white chick/objectified black dude dynamic… if fat rolls don’t make you vomit and an xBox and full fridge is worth trading for your independence.

  • Southside Chi

    nice post and real, so i feel that shit, but this to the chi nigga with the white hoes…what part cause i go to school downtown and i stay taking these hoes out…BITCH TAKE ME OUT HOE!! but when you young and handsome AND got bread, hoes want you harder…so i take em how they come…FAST!

  • AKATHEREALIST

    DOUBZZ, you damn straight. I see where you found her. Out here in VA, white girls DO LOVE niggas with a passion. Black girls get into fights and whatnot over this shit because the white dudes don’t want them (particularly due to the correlation between dick size and a black woman’s ass) and all the brothers are taken. Oh, the horror in VA!

  • Southside Chi

    yep, that was on point…decent cause it made me wanna respond..where are you finding these white hoes?? (chicago papii) i go to school downtown and i stay spending bread on these dumb ass hoes, but thats only cause thats what i’m used to…WHY DON’T YOU SPEND $$$$ HOE!! imma have to start fucking wit the north side (not the gay part though!)

  • rolantis

    pretty funny standards for what posts you censor, Bol.

  • BronxChic4Lyfe

    It really depends on da man’s situation. If they just make less money for no reason, then i aint lookin for dem. But if its because he’s in debt or a bad divorce or something, I may look his way. Cuz i was raised to learn that a man’s suppose to feed the family no matter how much money thew woman makes!!!!!

  • The Spaniard

    “…if you make well into six figures, and you’re not quite 30 (allegedly), how fucking hard can it be to convince a man to be with you?”

    It not hard. These chicks are lackluster in almost every other area besides earning money.

  • http://myspace.com/blockworkmusic J Money

    You know I keep that white girl… LMAO!!

  • INFAMOUS

    “…how fucking hard can it be to convince a man to be with you? All you’ve got to do is buy him some shit, break him off with some stank, and shut the fuck up…”

    “wu-tang-wigger” and this one got me LMAO…
    Classic shyt..

  • paul

    your a funny dude bol keep up the good work u witty sob

  • WHO DAT ?

    LOL – Thats whats up

    Jeff – “Like they are being charitable and there’s another guy out there that they should be with, but they chose you.”

    fucking true!!

  • the one

    And since I sit around all day reading books, magazines and newspapers anyway, I realize this is not some consequence of women being smarter than men, but rather an overall shift in the economy away from jobs that are suitable for a man, such as manufacturing, in favor of jobs that are only suitable for a woman, like rubbing lotion on and old man’s balls in a hospital
    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  • geico lizard

    this was realest blog i have read from you Bol keep up the good work. women want a reason to complain its crazy chris rock said it best in his last special women will complain about you working too much or too little or being there too much or too little. women just like to complain it is nuts we men cant win unless the woman is sprung on you then she will bite her tongue for awhile to keep the peace

  • These Bloggers Are Gays (TBAG)

    Bol Says:

    September 26th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
    Spell check is for fags.
    ^^^
    Not true, if that was the case, there wouldnt be a single typo in your blogs. Actually, I dont see BXS making too many typos…hmmm…

  • http://hmblog.wordpress.com Reecie

    BOL…I guess you’re not in denial like I thought you were. It’s good to know that you realize you have very few redeemable qualities and have absolutely nothing to offer a woman. As far as you talking about fat chicks…how ironic!

    And to the rest of you guys sharing your success stories with mooching off women…I guess dignity is dead right along with chivalry.

    There is nothing wrong with a woman making more money than a man, because relationships are about partnerships. It’s just funny how the same folks who talk about how women are gold diggers are on this article talking about how much stuff women give them.

  • prince ceasar

    Bol, …I tip my hat to you for having enough balls to keep it real. It’s a double-standard that everyone seems to conveniently overlook..thats some bullshit. KEEP IT PIMPIN, PIMPIN 1

  • Kenny

    Fuck you bitch ass you aint shit but a hater you can suck a dick and die slow fuckin fag

  • These Bloggers Are Gays (TBAG)

    Youre a fag for deleting my comment Bol, since when do you delete comments? This guy above me says that shit and you delete MY comment? WTF?!?

    Or maybe it was BXS cause we all know how homotional the #1 Bitchmade gets. He’ll delete this one too.

    How yall let Dark and LOL and fags like Kenny ream you out, and then delete my shit that aint half what they sayin? Cause yall are homotional gays.

    TBAG

  • grippy

    that first bitch definitely has a high boob-waist ratio.

  • grippy

    or rather a high boob-neck ratio

  • BIGNAT

    as i hate to agree with bol he is right once a chick finds out she makes more money than you she acts like you want her money. when i go out with a girl i pay for everything anyway so why would it fucking matter thats the way women are. they have something they want you to have something too because they are not spending there money. guys treat ladies if they have money and if a chick has money she shits on you for not having none. thats why women with cash have trouble finding men if the guy does not have what they have or more they are not happy. what the fuck is this world coming to are we only suppose to date people in our tax bracket or some shit

  • Kenny

    I FUCKING HATE YOU. YOU AINT SHIT BUT A HATER YOU FUCKING BUTT PIRATE. YOU HOMO

  • stoneyisland

    Bol hasnt had a blog in a hot minute is it true he got shit canned from XXL??????????????