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Grand opening, grand closing

To hear the liberal Jew-run media tell it, the current, precipitous downturn in hip-hop album sales mostly has to do with the black woman’s utter exasperation with the level of misogyny in hip-hop song lyrics and music videos, but I’ve long suspected that it’s had as much if not more so to do with the white man’s fear of black criminality.

And by the white man, I’m actually referring to pretty much everyone who isn’t a black criminal, but whatever. This shit reads better if I can lump people into groups, usually based on race, which are that much easier to blame for shit.

Take for example the issue a few years ago with Ron Artest running up into the crowd up into Detroit and cold-cocking some cracka-ass cracka. Do you really think the average cracka-ass cracka on the street could give a rat’s ass if the Shawn Kemps of the world have got babies in every third state in the union? But once it gets to the level where they’ve got the balls to run up in the stands it’s like, “Hold on a sec, Lemongelo!”

I was reminded of this as I read a story in the Times the other day about how cracka-ass crackas out in Colorado Springs are trying to shut down hip-hop nights in some of the clubs there. Now, I could be mistaken, because it’s been a while, but I believe Colorado Springs is one of the towns Eric Schlosser wrote about in the utterly boring Fast Food Nation. At any rate, it’s definitely not the kind of town you’d even expect to have a hip-hop night, filled with born again Christian types, military contractors, and yuppie type cracka-ass cracka who migrated there from SoCal because it was becoming a bit too “latino.”

But I guess there’s some army base there and now there’s enough black people to where a hip-hop night would be economically feasible, let alone the fact that how many white kids do you know these days who don’t listen to hip-hop? Only thing is, there used to be hardly any violence there at all, but you know how black people like to do silly shit like shoot at one another in the parking lots of night clubs. So now the police have actually gone on the record as blaming hip-hop for the rise in the murder rate and warning club owners that if they play rap music, they might be putting themselves at risk.

And you see the same shit happening all over. In St. Louis we’ve had popular club nights that had to be shut down because the guys who ran them tried to mix thoughtful, worthwhile hip-hop with southern rap and then word got out and a buncha motherfuckers in long white t-shirts showed up and started sexually harrassing women and (of course) shooting at one another in the parking lot outside. It was even the subject of a cover story in the Riverfront Times (just like yours truly!) a week or so ago.

In both the incidents here and in Colorado Springs, of course you’ve had motherfuckers trying to play the race card, as if the real reason 5-0 is trying to shut down club nights which have been the site of all sorts of criminal activity is because the white man just doesn’t like the idea of black people shaking their asses to Lil’ Jon and drinking the Incredible Hulk or whatever. To be sure, I’ve never actually been to Colorado Springs, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the cops there are racist as fuck, just like they are everywhere else, but come on. I think it’s obvious the real reason these things keep getting shut down is because ignorant-ass black people keep shooting at one another.

Which brings me to my point.

You guys know I’ll stick up for a black man’s right to call a black woman whatever the fuck he wants in a song, both because I thought we had free speech in this country and because I’ve been working in the service industry for 10 years now last month and I’ve already suffered a lifetime’s worth of abuse at the hands of loud, ignorant-ass black women. But all of this bullshit with snatching chains and shooting at one another in the parking lot outside the club is just that, bullshit. The reason this shit keeps getting shut down isn’t because white people hate black people, or there’s some conspiracy against hip-hop. It’s because no one likes the idea of getting shot at.

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