Worse than a minstrel show

“By the way, Chuck D was going to be here, but it turns out the D stands for dignity.” – One of the comics at the Flavor Flav roast.

My bad about being a week late on this, but I did end up seeing that Flavor Flav roast this weekend. I figured I might check it out back when it first aired, but I ended up missing. I guess Comedy Central figured no one who would be watching a roast of Flavor Flav would have any sort of conflict with the season finale of HBO’s bizarre new John from Cincinatti, which I enjoy quite a bit.

Then I thought for certain that they’d be rerunning the shit out of it all last week the way these cable networks do. I looked for it Monday and Tuesday, but it hadn’t occurred to me that it would air on Comedy Central rather than VH1, with all of the other Flavor Flav series. Again, you’ll have to excuse me. I basically can’t be bothered to watch anything on TV unless it’s on HBO.

But I happened to be flipping through the channels Saturday night (I had to be at the BGM at the ass crack of dawn Sunday morning) and there it was, the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav.

I was kinda upset that even though it was kinda late (I think it was 9 p.m.) they were playing a half-censored version. Sometimes, especially on weekend nights, they air comedy specials with the curses left in. But then it occurred to me that they’re not going to play the dirty version on TV ever, so that people will be forced to shell out for the DVD. Which is lame.

In fact, I found the whole thing to be kinda lame. As much I like the idea of a celebrity roast, so far I’ve found all of these Comedy Central roasts to be kinda soft. Every time they have one of these things on Comedy Central someone says something that’s kinda insensitive, and of course everyone makes a big deal out of it. But isn’t the whole idea of a roast that everything the dais says is highly insensitive?

My favorite lines of the evening were Jimmy Kimmel’s remarks that Flav left more black kids homeless than Hurricane Katrina, and that he’s a worse father than Chris Benoit. Kimmel also had the balls to suggest that Comedy Central should fire Carlos Mencia, who wasn’t even there (and who fucking sucks balls), which suggests to me that he was the only one there big-time enough to not give a shit what he said.

But that was really about as bad as it got, which is surprising when you consider that Flavor Flav is a 50 year-old crackhead with eight kids by six different mothers, not to mention his late-career surge as the star of his own minstrel show on VH1. (If you want to hear a real roast, you should check out the ones the Rev. Bob Levy does on the Howard Stern show. Not that I listen to Howard Stern or anything. That would just be racist.)

My guess is that Comedy Central figured that Flavor Flav is kind of a ‘tard and that he might not realize that the whole point of a roast is to say the most hurtful shit you can possibly say about a person. Plus, what with the incidents with Michael Richards and Don Imus already this year, they couldn’t let shit get too hairy, lest that one nappy headed ho who was protesting BET’s Hot Ghetto Mess organize some sort of a boycott.

  • smog

    roast of a roast = more roastedness

  • Content

    The roast was alright. The presenters got on their fellow presenters more than Flav, but shit was funny anyway.

    John from Cincinatti is garbage. I’m convinced people only like it because they get caught up in the HBO hybe (coming from someone who watched six feet under). It has terrible acting and sense of timing. Just because it’s artsy doesn’t make it entertaining.

    The whole season was like waiting to nut during a blow job and never quite getting there.

  • Around and Around

    Thought it was alright, Jeff Ross is always on point at a roast.

    Mencia’s a joke, watch the video of him and Joe Rogan fucking him up at the Laugh Factory

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Yeah, some of the acting on John from Cincinatti is awful. And I’m still not sure what it’s supposed to be about.

    I’d still rather watch it than almost anything on TV.

  • boner jams 03

    i wanna fuck that old fat jewish bitch who likes black dudes….i would have never figured her as a chick that got down with the brown..

  • ri067953

    Yo, those Stern roasts are alright. I peeped the Flavor Flav one and Snoop had some jokes that were kinda rough. I know Kimmel probably wrote Snoop’s shit but he when he cracked on Ice T, T looked pissed off. Other then that, the roast sucked.

  • 1,21,2..anditdon’tstop81

    that shit was mad funny nigga! I mean it wasn’t all high brow or nuttin’ like dat but as far as mud-slingin’ shit talk it definitely could make you crack up! they murdered carrot top whole style on that shit so bad!! aww man I might have to break the vcr to record that joint. hey fuck y’all I can’t afford tivo and I think it’s on some goverment brainwash shit anyway…peace!

  • http://www.first.com First

    “I guess Comedy Central figured no one who would be watching a roast of Flavor Flav would have any sort of conflict with the season finale of HBO’s bizarre new John from Cincinatti, which I enjoy quite a bit.”

    Sorry to burst your bubble, but that was the SERIES finale. That dumb ass show got canceled, and rightfully so. They need to bring Carnivale back.

  • Bbrolic

    I knew u were a Stern fan. Its not racist to listen to him because he’s somewhat politically correct now. But that Bubba the love sponge flies the confederate flag like his life depends on it! Black people please stay away Bubba! He tries to be Howard by acting like he used to rap and having 25 cent on his show but listen to his comments about Arabs. Ridiculous! Now after admitting that your a stern fan, I’m just waiting for you to finally admit that your a native african and thats why you hate american blacks so much!

  • Content

    The two worst actors are pro surfers. I read somewhere that it was the least watched HBO show ever. But hey, if Big Love got another season I guess stranger things have happened.

  • Incilin

    “I basically can’t be bothered to watch anything on TV unless it’s on HBO.” – Hey, I’m with you on that one. HBO shows are another level compared to almost anything on regualr or cable TV.

    I did however like the Snoop and Ice-T roasts. They were pretty good.

  • dbaghag

    Pretty lame review bol. This article has no point and really no point of view. There was some funny shit at the roast you missed from greg girardo, jeff ross and lisa lampinelli especially.

  • Tyler

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  • SCARTOWN

    I thought that shit was hilarious.The way they kept getting at the FOL girls had me dying.But the best was the guy(don’t know his name)that said Flav looked like a skeleton wrapped in electrical tape and Idi Amin after a 3 month crack binge on the sun……I almost cried I laughed so hard!.Brigitte Neilson got it bad too.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >Sorry to burst your bubble, but that was the SERIES finale. That dumb ass show got canceled, and rightfully so.

    Seriously?

    That would suck, since they only cancelled Deadwood so that the guy who did it could do John from Cincinatti.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    For what it’s worth, Howard Stern grew up Roosevelt, Long Island, the same ghetto as Public Enemy and Eddie Murphy. And Sal the Stockbroker once put out a rap album.

  • stoneyisland

    Bol, hell must have froze over because…..I agree with you.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >There was some funny shit at the roast you missed from greg girardo, jeff ross and lisa lampinelli especially.

    What other roasts have you seen?

  • VLsteve

    “snoop dogg, ice-t, flava flav, there so many black dicks here I thought we were having this roast in lisa lampinelli’s mouth”

    bol john from cincinatti is the whitest piece of TV out there
    HBO should only show the wire, big love and my favorite jew larry davids show

  • CINCINNATI BITCHES

    read the name, that’s how you spell it “d-bags”.

    that roast was funny as fuck. I was weak the whole time. Jimmy Kimmel is a racist. period. but they did let Flav have it, not like i thought they would, but he got it.

  • BirdsFlySouth

    “I basically can’t be bothered to watch anything on TV unless it’s on HBO.”

    Co-signed but you should check out FX ever now and then. The Shield and Nip/Tuck are off the chain.

  • bbrolic

    Dont forget that Full Force and Julius Dr. J Erving also graduated from Roosevelt High school! That high scool was gully! I moved to roosevelt from brooklyn and thought I was going to a suburban white school and got there and niggas try to jump me in the lunchroom the first day! This is where your boy Stern had his first encounter with the Five Percent! The day I graduated from there was like being released from a prison. One of the worst high schools in NY history! Could u imagine a class with Howard Stern, Chuck D, Flav, Eddie Murphy, and Full Force! A teachers worst nightmare!

  • geico lizard

    mencia does suck and he isnt even mexican so that makes him racist on top of not being funny. his dad is german and his mom is from honduras and his real name is ned holness. he changed him name just so he could start using wetback and beaner without getting beat up. i hope some real mexicans beat him up soon because he isnt funny and he is racist

  • Redd

    Check out Weeds on shotime Mondays @ 10PM. You ought to go back and watch seasons 1 and 2 though. Its a pretty good show.

  • NoMamesBuey

    Mencia is nice. He’s not an elite top-tier comedian like Dave Chappelle, but few comedians are. Mencia’s show is funny.

    Bol is the moron who’s not funny. BX Sunday is sonning Bol on the XXL blog side now.

    Bol = dee dee dee.

  • MAC 50

    I thought the roast was pretty funny. I still need to watch the beginning with kimmel I keep missing it. but the rest was good. I liked snoop alot and jeff ross was funny too

    p.s.what was the deal at the end where flav told jeff ross his jokes were racist and plain and then jeff got up and was like that’s fucked up and was yellin at flav? was that real or was he just playin around?

  • ri067953

    Yo, Mencia is just a hack! All of his so called “observational humor” is stuff that all comedians have already done. You can’t compare Mencia to Dave Chappelle at all. Chapelle’s humor has a nuance that seperates his comedy from others who perform racial humor.

  • blackBoy

    “Cissy shows Butchie how to do that”

    that’s just classic TV right there…

  • akatherealist

    yo, 2 whoever said it, I co-sign
    I wanna fuck Lisa something nelli too! I saw them on the roast talking about there being so many black dicks there that they were doing it in her mouth, but I never thought it was her…I still wanted 2 fuck tho, she had a NICE rack.
    lol

  • Chris

    Mencia is not even remotely funny by any standard. Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook are comedians for dumb people or people who aren’t funny. Period. Learn up.

  • Around and Around

    ri067953 Says:

    August 20th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
    Yo, Mencia is just a hack! All of his so called “observational humor” is stuff that all comedians have already done. You can’t compare Mencia to Dave Chappelle at all. Chapelle’s humor has a nuance that seperates his comedy from others who perform racial humor.
    —————
    I’m telling you -you tube- ‘Mencia & Joe Rogan’ Rogan straight ethers Mencia up on stage.

    George Lopez snatched up Mencia by the neck and slammed him into a wall for stealing his jokes, he’s a straight up hake, I won’t watch his show based on principle. And his real name is Gorden or some shit

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    “My pussy has been on more black man lips the purple koolaid”-Lisa Lampinelli

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Roffle @ all the people saying they’d fuck Lisa Lampanelli.

    I’m not saying I definitely wouldn’t. I’m just saying. If you’re into stereotypes, this site is almost too much!

  • http://www.xxlmag.com EReal

    I watched the roast and laughed my fuckin ass off the whole time. I dunno what you were watchin. I was high tho, heh. I thought Jeff Ross, Greg Geraldo, and Kimmel were the best. I didnt get to see Lisa or anyone after Kimmel cause I bounced, but Kimmel had me rolling. “Excuse me, I was interrupted by those whores” hahaha. The FOL girl was like fuck you! he’s like “Oh yeah, thats really gonna help your situation” ROFLMFAAAOOO. Sonnage.
    Yeah and carrot top caught it bad too, he was gettin vexed. lol.

  • MAC 50

    all these motherfuckers are stupid saying they’d fuck lisa lampanelli. didn’t you hear what snoop said? I wouldn’t fuck lisa lampanelli for all the weed in compton

  • CINCINNATI BITCHES

    Bol would fuck Lisa Lampanelli for a french fry with no ketchup…i’m just sayin.

  • Cuban Link

    Bol, the Roast was fucking hilarious. When Jimmy Kimmel said that shit about Chris Benoit, everyones jaw just dropped in the whole place, lmao that was classic.Snoop was pretty funny too.And I found it funny they aired Carrot Top out harder than they did with Flava Flav.

    and John from Cincinnati made no sense at all.HBO shows are usually always amazing, but lately they have been on normal TV levels (Cincinnati, Big Love, latest shit off Entourage)

    Oh well, The Wires coming for its 5th season this Januarary, and Rome is OK whenever I happen to catch it.Curb Your Enthusiasm is fucking hilarious.But what they NEED is to do some shit with “The Sopranos” cuz I still lose sleep sometimes pondering on the fate of Tony.

  • http://www.kaseclosed.blogspot.com Justin Kase

    CLICK MY NAME TO SEE WHAT BOL REALLY LOOKS LIKE…

    WARNING!!! MAY CAUSE YOU TO WET YOUR PANTS.

  • Ms. K. Weathersby

    Straight Up, you really need to give Flav a break. I mean, how many “50 year old crackheads with 7 children” you know is out getting this money and supporting all seven of his known children. Everyone, and all celebs have issues but that does not mean that they don’t deserve a roast or even a “nicer” roast than usual. I enjoyed the show simply beacuase Comedy Central took the time and money to honor a Black Man. I do agree that Jimmy K. was very funny and downed Mencia deservingly, and some people could have been more funny. but overall, it was Comedy Central’s best roast because It featured some Black folks talking shit!

  • foolio_iglesias

    Byron,you buggin.That Flav roast was funny as hell,and borderline offensive.Which is how it’s supposed to be.I mean,how do you roast charcoal?

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