Who or wtf is a Tay Zonday?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past two weeks, my guess is that you’ve heard of Tay Zonday. The video of him performing a song called “Chocolate Rain” is probably the most popular video on YouTube right now, which would probably put it in the running for the most popular song out right now, right up there with “Beautiful Girls” by Sean Kingston.

If, by some bizarre confluence of circumstances, you’ve yet to see this shit, I heard BET would like you to pitch a series you can check it out here:

“Chocolate Rain” Original Song by Tay Zonday [YouTube]

In an interview yesterday with one of these other hip-hop sites, a guy asked Tay Zonday what his background is. Tay Zonday responded that he’s Martian. Later on in the interview, he refers to himself as a “young black man,” so obviously he’s not that hung up on issues of race, but the real issue seems to be just how black he is. In general, he seems really evasive when it comes to anything having to do with his ethnic background or his sexual orientation.

As Zonday himself put it:

As long as I talk about myself in fiction that someone else wrote, I might as well write my own fiction: I’m from Mars. Most believe the story that I’m a black mulatto.

Of course he isn’t willing to confirm or deny whether or not he is indeed a mulatto.

The thing is, he may have already given himself up. I’m sure many of you will beg to differ with my detective work, but think about it: If you’re half black and half white, and your “Christian” name is “Tay,” then obviously your mother was the one who was black. See, if he had a first name that was actually, you know, a real name, but then his last name was something you see fairly often in the black community, like Williams, then we’d know it was the daddy who was black.

Granted the surname Zonday doesn’t sound like anyone’s last name that I ever heard of, and Tay Zonday could very well be a stage name, but still. Again I’m sure plenty of you will disagree with how I came to my conclusion here, but let’s face it. If his daddy was black and his momma was white, which is the case more often than not with mulattos in this country, my guess is that he’d be somewhat better-adjusted than he is.

Speaking of which, what’s wrong with Tay Zonday anyway? On his profile page on YouTube it says, “Yes, I look young. I am 25 years old.” Which isn’t much of an explanation, as far as I’m concerned. Tay Zonday doesn’t just look young, he looks fucked up, like he’s got some kind of weird disease. I’ve got a brother who’s 25 who looks young for his age (last year they gave him a free t-shirt at Busch Stadium because they thought he was 14), but he doesn’t look nearly that young.

I’m only 26 myself, but I’ve got the opposite problem. I could pass for 35, if not even older, just because I’ve spent the past several years living the life I sing about in my songs, so to speak. Just like the old negro spiritual. But still, my guess is that Tay Zonday’s issues stem from some sort of medical condition rather than whatever lifestlye choices he’s made. If anything, I can’t help but be reminded of the situation with Andy Milonakis a few years ago.

You’ll recall that Andy Milonakis was also a twenty-something guy who looked like a kid and made goofy web videos. The thing is, Milonakis played up his youthful appearance to the point where people just assumed he was the world’s most foul-mouthed, culturally literate (remember he was really into Big L) 12 year-old. Then, once his MTV series began to take off, it was revealed that he was really 29 or whatever and suffered from some sort of medical condition.

On my own site, I speculated that the condition might be more severe than he’d like us to think, and that he might end up dead of some liver condition before he reaches middle age, which tends to be the case fairly often with midgets. Of course he didn’t take too kindly to my speculation and retaliated by having all of umpteen thousands MySpace friends call my house (where I haven’t lived since 1999, mind you) to warn me not to talk shit about Andy Milonakis.

My guess is that once the fascination with Tay Zonday does reach critical mass, assuming he does go on to be more than your average flavor of the month on YouTube, we’re going to find out the truth about the truth about things like his ethnic background, his sexual orientation, and why it is he looks like he a little boy despite the fact that he’s supposedly roughly the same age as myself, and my guess is that it’s going to be some really disturbing shit, which I’m sure is why he’s so hesitant to discuss these issues in the first place.

  • http://blogs.hiphopdx.com/meka Meka Soul

    >Tay Zonday what his background is. Tay Zonday responded that he’s Martian.>

    *floor*

  • T-Boye

    The regin of Bol, is almost over

  • dronkmunk

    wow

  • dronkmunk

    whoa he lives in minneapolis? I will find out whats up

  • HNIC

    After hearing him say in an interview that he’s a “Martian” and that he believes that relationships are “so 20th Century”, I think that it’s safe to say that he’s one of the few remaining 26 year old virgins. He hasn’t had coochie, since coochie had him.

  • Lex

    Yo B,

    Some of what you say is true, but when I watched the video again after your post, I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before. If he had some kind of “Arnold/Webster/Milonokis” Disease, his voice probably wouldn’t be as deep. He has normal testoserone, but no f’in hair on his face. Maybe he uses a Gillette Nueve’, with 9 blades. Speaking of blades, I would like to line the brother up. It looks like he was last shaped up with a hot butter knife….. at 17 ….. by a blind cousin….with an ax to grind

  • The Spaniard

    “It looks like he was last shaped up with a hot butter knife….. at 17 ….. by a blind cousin….with an ax to grind”

    My laugh quota for the week is officially filled! Thanks sir.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com King Ben

    Andy Milonakis is like 31, that is some crazy shit. I thought the same shit when I first see Tay on Attack of the show on G4. He looks fucked up.

  • Youngz

    Bol u know that bitch TPAR is gonna have a field day with this one, just wait until he finishes his day as an underpaid lawsecretary, he´s gon be on ya dick (no homo) nullus!

  • ThingAlec

    massivefloodingduetotay.ytmnd.com

    Some random ytmnd site i made because of the floods in England. What does this have to do with Tay? Copy, paste and find out.

  • E JOE

    You’ll recall that Andy Milonakis was also a twenty-something guy who looked like a kid and made goofy web videos. The thing is, Milonakis played up his youthful appearance to the point where people just assumed he was the world’s most foul-mouthed, culturally literate (remember he was really into Big L) 12 year-old. Then, once his MTV series began to take off, it was revealed that he was really 29 or whatever and suffered from some sort of medical condition.

    On my own site, I speculated that the condition might be more severe than he’d like us to think, and that he might end up dead of some liver condition before he reaches middle age, which tends to be the case fairly often with midgets. Of course he didn’t take too kindly to my speculation and retaliated by having all of umpteen thousands MySpace friends call my house (where I haven’t lived since 1999, mind you) to warn me not to talk shit about Andy Milonakis.
    ^^^^^
    LMAO

    *dies*

  • mr martin

    HAS ANYONE READ THE INTERVIEW ON THE LINK? THIS KID IS DEEP AND SMART> TOO BAD HE SUCKS AND LOOKS LIKE PENNY FROM GOOD TIMES

  • lone1

    Wow…this has got to be the weirdest attempt at making music I have seen in my life…..I now hate life.

  • DANJA29

    That nigga’s singing style reminds me of Al Jarreau with a lot of bass in his voice. The childlike facial features matched with that voice (not to mention, the song itself) is hilarious.

    Maybe he has the shit Benoit’s son had, the Fragile X syndrome.

  • Bill W

    i used to suck him off…believe me…he is ALL man

  • smog

    bol let me get my two minutes back from watching that movie

  • derfla the hus’la

    lol dude is sort of weird and cant sing for shit.

  • KRITIQ

    maybe if he had anything to do with hiphop you would not be asking us that stupid question anyway fat faggot

  • http://xxlmag.com DARK

    KRITIQ Says:

    August 1st, 2007 at 7:54 pm
    maybe if he had anything to do with hiphop you would not be asking us that stupid question anyway fat faggot
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    hahahaha u basically said wut i was gonna say da fuck dis dawrf dude got to do wit hiphop?notin bol is a lame fuck.

  • http://xxlmag.com DARK

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWOQRw-iHos
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    look at tis herb ass house negro bol he even has a white acent.

  • http://xxlmag.com DARK

    why is it evetime i post the video of bol on youtube it wont show and says comment awaitin moderation?bol just quit da bullshit thousands of ppl already saw who u really is on dat vid post ma fukin comment you shouldnt have done dat interveiw in da 1st place wut r u afaird of den?is dat it u afaird house herb nigga?

  • ClickEmpty

    i don’t understand this song or phenomenon. instead of disussing his race, can you explain this to me? i need a cultural critic to do his job on this one. “tay” gave a better interview than any rap artist has since . . . professor griff.

  • http://xxlmag.com DARK
  • Tyler

    Yea’ this dude got the hottest song out right now and dude is 4 sho’ a retard or something. It’s better than I Get It so sorry 50. BoL, way 2 keep your ear 2 the streets,finding ‘dat new heat.
    SolutionsGlobalMedia.com aka SGM7.com
    Love it or Hate it, Tell a Friend.

  • Jax

    Bol. You are a wack backpacking ass bandit. Tay Zonday is both your GOD and your highest potential. The only contribution you have made is by coining the phrase teh ghey… which is genius… in retrospect, keep up the good work.

    Loser,

    Jax

  • D.

    Tay Zonday doesn’t just look young, he looks fucked up, like he’s got some kind of weird disease.

    ^^^

    Wow…. the pot calling the kettle black

  • maxman

    bullshit you’re 26, you sound like a man who has to be at least over 35

  • Nad

    BOL… Best blogger on da net. Tay does look young and i still confused about da song nt meaning 2 be ignorant it just dosent make sense to me.

  • http://www.rich-arte.blogspot.com Rich Arte

    you’re 26 (laughs..in my Mase voice)wwwwwoooowwwwww.

    Hey ToiletBol, why the fuck haven’t you posted something with some f’in knowledge behind the hip hop “front”.

    Ayyyy..check out these links…disturbing
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oRyrhJdwCw

    or this…since Toilet Bol is scared to write about something with merit, listen for yourself.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD-UpHlB9no

  • HIJOKKA

    BOL, once again this website is behind AHH — quit stealing material from ILLSEED — you’re a better blogger than this !!!

  • X

    Yo have you seen this guy’s other video? Even more f*ed up.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mSKBgvHdoE

  • sniper

    what the hell was this post about.
    confused and anger as i realize i wasted my time reading this bullshit.

  • Hip Hop since 79′

    The thing is, he may have already given himself up. I’m sure many of you will beg to differ with my detective work, but think about it: If you’re half black and half white, and your “Christian” name is “Tay,” then obviously your mother was the one who was black. See, if he had a first name that was actually, you know, a real name, but then his last name was something you see fairly often in the black community, like Williams, then we’d know it was the daddy who was black.

    ^^^^
    LOL! House negro greatness. BOL, I wouldn’t worry about the age thing to much (in your case). As a ‘blooger’, you don’t have the same age hangups like some these (born in 1978) rappers, lying that they are 24. You know why you don’t have to worry?

    Black don’t crack… Fat don’t wrinkle.

    You black pudgy bastard, you will look young forever.

  • Mike Yeah Im 14 SO!

    Why Yall Hatin on The Dood Bol. I dont read blogs or shit but Tay Zonday is gonna be big…for 15 minutes…STOP with the hate cuz u know yall tune in 2 what he say DAILY
    EARLAY NICCA PEACE!

  • Mike Yeah Im 14 SO!

    Why Yall Hatin on The Dood Bol. I dont read blogs or shit but Tay Zonday is gonna be big…for 15 minutes…STOP with the hate cuz u know yall tune in 2 what he say DAILY
    EARLAY NICCA PEACE!

  • Ason

    You sound like a hating ass bitch. Go jog around the block lard ass.

  • BrookeR

    If you only knew how ignorant you sound…why does it matter what race he is?…. And say he does have some sort of illness (like YOU said),… So What! He doesn’t have to give the public any personal information if he doesn’t want to. Why are you so concerned? Sounds to me like you are upset because you can’t fit him into the few catogories of people your little mind can comprehend….you should really really stop writing because it is very apparent you are clueless.

  • j stein

    No really you are the worst journalist EVER. Please quit.

  • http://www.bluelaptop.info Jack

    You need to remember that chocolate rain… some stay dry and others feel the pain.

    Wait.. what?