Trapped In The Closet >> Le Barbier de Séville

What’s good XXL family? I haven’t gone in for a minute because I’ve been getting the remainder of my summer swerve out. Niggas go back to school for real in two weeks so I am trying to get off my last nights of free open bar parties. Which reminds me, did any of you cats get invited to the XXL magazine tenth anniversary jumpoff? Yeah, me neither. Just as well I suppose, I heard Lil’ Wang performed for Shimwhora Lee and Birdbrain. Bang, bang bitches, but the gun ain’t even loaded.

I know I went in a few months ago and told y’all to copp Fisty’s next album to save Hip-Hop. I still mean that, but I need y’all to copp that shit in the second week. If KanGaye West doesn’t beat Fisty Scent for first week sales I lose scrilla to Combat Jack. C.J.’s wife just had a baby girl too so you know he bet that paper on his baby girl’s name. I don’t even know what I was thinking. There aren’t nearly enough backpacking skinny jeans skateboarders in the world to topple the empire of Fisty.

Did you peep the Fifty Cent interview at OnSmash Dot Com? For everything that I dislike about the character that Curtis has adopted through his music he remains above all other things one of the most lucid and entertaining interviewees strictly on the strength of his candor. This is a nigga that will just tell you how he feels about shit and not really care if you feel a kind of way. OnSmash even has Fifty Cent doing drops for their website! Damn, let me find out this nigga Fifty Cent is researching web traffic on Alexa Dot Com?! Well homey, that algorithm they use is all fucked the fuck up. Dallas Penn Dot Com is the website that niggas that fucks with the internets hardbody fucks with.

Speaking on DP Dot Com… How many of y’all niggas got Foxy Brown in the cRap Music Fantasy League? You know that crazy bitch scored points when she got arrested last week for assault? But whats fucking with her ass being pregnant?!? I haven’t built any scoring yet for pregnant emcees, but I think I will give anyone with her on their roster 500 pts when she delivers the baby since that is like dropping a gold album. I told y’all a minute ago that Koch Records was the new millennium Def Jam. Them niggas is about to be the next deaf jam too. If they put out the new ‘Pac album them niggas will be the new dead jam. Shit is crazy. Like a monkey petting a kitten.

If you have Robert Sylvester Kelly on your cRap Music Fantasy roster you are about to cake up some points. Ol’ dude’s ‘Trapped In The Closet’ series is better than any Tyler Perry shit I have ever watched. It’s a straight retahded opera. Somebody give that hebephile a high school sophomore cheerleader and leave him alone. The Mayans used to throw young virgins down a fiery pit. I don’t see why we can’t pass off some 15yr old poon to this man every six months or so? That ‘Double Up’ album is wild bonkers. I be thinking that Kellz just be fucking with us to make us repeat all that dumb shit he sing. He had everybody singing that ‘Booty’ shit, especially the end of the song where he flutters off on the word booty, and now he got everybody singing that ‘Sex Planet’ shit or the other bananas joint called ‘The Zoo’. This nigga is a damn fool and he is having the time of his life.

You know your ass is talented when the New York Times sends it resident homosexual house Negro to review your latest video projects. I already knew R. Kelly had the white on his tip when he started inspiring the hipster contingent to drop their Starbucks’ and pick up their pens. Did you peep this peanut butter and jelly shit called ‘Same Dude’? Well then watch…

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  • Rich Arte

    first bitches

  • b-ease

    man… that read terribly.

    honestly, were you a little wasted when you wrote this?

  • Incilin

    Haha, I got Foxy on my roster!! I remember writing an email where I tried to pick up Amy Winehouse (Later I found out you couldn’t drop ppl in that round) and wrote that I was just waiting for Foxy to shoot up a club or something.

    BTW, Foxy also signed a deal with Koch which should add even more points. Too bad I still got Akon’s dumbass instead of Kellz. I shoulda known Akon would lay low, but how was I supposed to know them trapped in closets joints would be out? Akon said he was gonna drop 3 videos at once, neva happened.

  • Rich Arte

    you must be bored billy, and your cusswords don’t fit in context. example:But whats fucking with her ass being pregnant?!?
    answer: SHE was fucking, and her ASS isn’t pregnant (though she may drop her kids off in the pool once a day)she is.

    I check in often to read new headlines, listen to new bangers, and believe it or not, read these half-ass blogs. Maybe if TPAR took over for a week as a guest blogger, the general public might actually get some entertaining information; then you would be stuck commenting on his blogs.

    billy said: Dallas Penn Dot Com is the website that niggas that fucks with the internets hardbody fucks with.
    what???? can we say grammar class?

    Step your blog game up Billy X. Last Sunday (or go back to having Bol write your columns)

  • Combat Jack

    ^ Re: Robert Kelly…


  • The Spaniard

    Boring. Stop them before it is too late.

  • Redd

    Yo 50 got like 3 new marketing deals one with Pontiac and one with absolut black I forget the other one but its on the billboard website. Do those count? Fuck foxy that hard of hearing hoodrat better not be the reason I fall.

  • ifux aka etheraldinho

    Damn BS good to see you goin on in hard and heavy, really doe(no kanye purse carrier)[ll]. I saw Foxy a few years back and I was really eye focking the ish out of her and she must have been high ass fock because she looked at me but I couldnt see her soul, no wizadry. That Day I knew that Bitch had issues. Anyways My Team in the cRap fantasy is pulling in the rear[ll] and DP.Com is the most hardbodiest most non Gay site on the web…… Bol is soaking in faggotocious, BTW. I just thought I should mention that.


  • Around and Around

    b-ease Says:

    August 21st, 2007 at 1:10 pm
    man… that read terribly.

    honestly, were you a little wasted when you wrote this?
    That’s what was going through my head while I read this

  • brebre


  • Trizzle

    wow thys post was retardedly stupid

  • dolo

    foxy brown done did everything in the last year .. now she preggers .. crazy . who ghostnutted dat baby ?


    Same dude. Same Dude.
    That aint mayo, bitch
    You forgot to spit.

    Its Brain food. Brain food.
    Brain food. Brain food.


  • these posts are racist

    “it resident homosexual house Negro to review your latest video projects.”

    A fake intellecutal/journalist making fun of a real intellectual/journalis. Peace to Keleefa Sanaa.

  • Cuban Link

    word, Fiddy should switch Curtis up quick and make it a DVD of his interviews instead of music.Shit would go platinum first week.I havent ever seen an interview with his that he didnt say some of the funniest shit.

    and I aint copping Kanyes first week anymore, that nigga dont deserve to be number one.Not only is his ass obviously a secret agent for Japan, but hes acting like he doesnt even care if hes number one or not.If you didnt come to play, sit the fuck down.


    may you drink waters filtered thru the ass of a low mountain gorilla

  • Dropping Tonnage offndemdraws

    TPAR! Drink from the skeet repository bitch!

  • DARK

    Billy Sunday,
    I think u jus need to come out tha closet homo er i mean homie everybody now knows u take it up the ass frum the man who inspires u bryon crawford i think u call bol ur daddy like wayne does birdman.

  • VLsteve

    hardbody, hmm does that mean that someone can be softbody?

  • Billy X. Sunday

    Le Barbier de Séville = biggups to Haiti

  • these posts are racist

    Sa pa se Billy, why you gotta dis Keleefa?

    It’s all Napule.

  • these posts are racist

    Wow. Billy is so afraid of me, he even erases my harmless comments. Does that make you hardbody?

  • Cal

    Yo Cuban Link got a marvelous point there man. Fif is showing passion and hunger which for real is something foreign in hip hop right now so his interviews and shit are awakening motherfuckers the hell up. Kanye’s just tryin’ to be sly. He wants that underdog act to be his safe guard so if he loses nobody’ll say that he definately thought otherwise and if he wins he was the David that slew Goliath and all that Bullshit. I got Fif’s back on this one I got it marked on the calender. Fif winning will wake people and rappers up and start opening doors to sales and shit.

  • Justin Kase

    Billy plays house with his babydolls after dinner. He feeds them imaginary vegetables and if they eat them all they can have make-believe dessert.

    Then he downs a fifth of Wild Irish Rose and chainsmokes Benson and Hedges Menthol ultra lights deluxe while channel-surfing and fondling Bol.

    lol. it’s the thought that counts, haha.


  • Dr Flav

    Benson & Hedges menuhol! Now thats a gay cigarette. LOL!

  • Billy X. Sunday

    LMAO that TPAR is a paranoid bitch.

  • these posts are racist

    My bad Billy, the comments I left were not deleted…for some reason they disapeared then reappeared.

    I apologize.

  • cannon

    tpar is a bitch. homie you way soft. your comments are harmless and stupid . tpar you will never be hardbody now suck a dick.