I'll admit: I'm far from an expert on Islam in general, let alone the creepy black version of it practiced in America's prisons. But, reading this account of the recent murder of journalist Chauncey Bailey by a group of black Muslim terrorists in Oakland, California, I couldn't help but notice several similarites between it and The Autobiography of Malcolm X, probably my main other source of knowledge re: black Muslims. I wonder if they were all just a matter of coincidence.

For example, you'll recall that Malcolm X experienced a rift with the Nation of Islam when he learned that Elijah Muhammad, the Joseph Smith of prison Islam apparently in more ways than one, had been raping children. (Admittedly, this is a good reason to experience a rift with pretty much anyone.) And wouldn't you know that this guy Yusuf Bey, the founder of the black Muslim bakery at the center of this recent kerfuffle, was known to get his R. Kelly on as well.

Hmm...

I suppose it would be racist of me to try to draw some sort of connection, but the truth of the matter is that I really don't know. Perhaps our good friend TPAR could fill us in. My guess is that if there was some sort of official policy in Islam for child rape (handed down by god to Muhammad at the same time he laid out the rules for jihad) we would've heard about it by now the same way we have the beekeeper suits, and the 72 virgins, and the beheadings and so on and so forth. So perhaps this is one of those pathologies specific to prison Islam.

Also, both Elijah Muhammad's Nation of Islam and this group of miscreants out in Oakland had a tendency to shoot black people that they disagreed with. For example, when Malcolm X realized that the Nation of Islam was just a silly hate group run by a child rapist and decided to go solo, Elijah Muhammad sent some of his goons to have him done away with - probably more so because he was afraid that Brother Malcolm might one day reveal the truth about his extracurricular activities than he was upset with him for leaving the group.

As if black people could give a rat's ass about child rape.

It had been known going back to the 1970s that this guy Yusuf Bey had fathered at least a few of his 40 some-odd children with middle school-age girls. Fortunately, he was struck dead by colon cancer before he could stand trial. (Whew!) This despite the fact he made his living selling "pure" food such as bean pies that were carried by health food stores up until the mid '90s, when he went on TV and said that teh ghey people should be beheaded just like they are in the Middle East, thus proving that there's at least one similarity betwen black prison Islam and Arab terrorist Islam.

You would think that threatening to behead teh ghey people in the Bay Area of all places would've been enough to have the police, if not the IRS, or Homeland Security, or somebody shut these assholes down a long time ago, but apparently it wasn't. Instead, Chauncey Bailey had to die. If anything, this just goes to show that we can't be too vigilant in dealing with these black Muslim terrorists. Prison Islam may be a bullshit religion that has hardly anything to do "real" Islam, but obviously it shares a certain propensity for violence, among other things.

More From XXL